Lucy was born at 6:25 a.m. on June 17, 2019. She weighed 7lbs 13oz and was 19 inches long. She makes us a perfectly symmetrical family of 6, three girls and three boys, and she is already loved more than she can possibly know. This is her birth story:
The Birth Story of Lucy Holland Peaden:
(David's comments in Italics)
In light of our previous birth story experiences, and due to having three other children to be responsible for, when we started getting closer to Lucy's due date I talked to my mom about coming down the week before her due date so that whenever Lucy decided to come we would have someone already there to watch the kids, regardless of day or time. So even though Lucy wasn't due until the 19th, my mom came to stay starting on the 11th. I wasn't really concerned about her coming before that, or even that early, but as soon as my mom arrived with her suitcases in tow - I took a big breath of relief and felt a sense of peace settle over me. That peace never really left over the next week, I felt relaxed and excited without a lot of the worry that I'd felt leading up to the other kid's births. If I started having contractions, great. If I didn't, great. If they were false labor, no problem. If it quickly turned to active labor, that wouldn't be a problem either. My mom was there with me, David was working close by, and the kid's bags had already been packed and delivered to Wendy and Sam's house, where the kids would be staying while we were in the hospital. We had a plan, and it felt good.
David: I will be honest, we talked a lot about what this labor will be like and we would always start with the expectation that it would be very similar to Austin and Caleb. We figured Shantel would have some contractions during the day leading up and then once hard contractions started it would be 2-3 hours and then the baby would be born. However, then we always told people that (or talking to each other), we would always follow with, something like, "however, since those were boys and this is a girl, it could be that Shantel's girl labors just take longer and so it might be very different. We said those words lots of times. In truth- I did not really believe them. I really expected this labor to be so much like Austin and Caleb and that is what I was preparing for. That also means that once again we would need to be able to leave the house super quick once contractions started. We were really so grateful to have Lori there to support and help us and it made things so much less stressful.
The only hiccup in that plan was when we found out that my Grandpa Knowles unexpectedly had a stroke on June 13th. My mom wasn't sure if she was going to need to drive to Boise to be with my Grandma, or if she should stay until the baby came. After much discussion, me telling her to go because we would be absolutely fine, but my grandma telling her to stay until they knew more, she decided to stay. We would have been fine either way, and a big part of me wishes that I could have just packed my mom and my kids into the car and driven to Boise with her, but it worked out really well and I'm grateful for my mom to have been with me the entire time leading up to Lucy's birth.
The week before Lucy was born was just a really great week. One of my good friends, Karli Shields, hosted a super small girls-night-out as a baby shower for me with just a few of my very closest friends and it was such a wonderful night. I felt so loved, and as I looked around the small circle women surrounding me I was so grateful to have such incredible women and examples around me and my family. It was really special to be out with a group, handpicked by me, of people that I love and with whom I feel comfortable and valued for myself. I can only wish the same for my daughters, that they grow up to be surrounded by good, uplifting, kind friends. Other highlights of the week included going to Grandma Peaden's house to finish Lucy's baby blanket, going swimming at the neighborhood pool with Grandma Walker, taking Lydia and Austin to the Family Day portion of Orem Summerfest and letting them explore the carnival and just enjoying the time spent with them, going with David and all the kids to the booths at the Orem Summerfest then out to ice cream at Thanksgiving Point as a last family-of-five hurrah. It was a great week filled with lots of summer goodness.
Sunday, June 16th was Father's Day. David and I had joked that Father's Day would be a great day for Lucy to come as an extra special Father's Day present for him. We also joked that she probably would come on the weekend, and probably at night, just according to the pattern of our other kids. (Caleb born Friday, Lydia born Sunday, all three of them born 3-4 days early, all three of them born at night.) We always followed up any hypothetical timing with "but babies come when they want to come - and Lucy will come when she's ready".
A couple of weeks previous to this, I noticed that our gallon of milk had an expiration date of June 16th at 6:23 p.m. I took a picture of it and sent it to Shantel and said that it would be my official guess of when Baby Lucy would arrive. I also figured that it was a pretty close estimate given the timeline and thought I had a decent shot of being right. We let the kids guess, and they picked June 12thfor two reasons 1-that's the day that Grandma Walker had guessed - because she wanted Lucy to have the same birthday as Jenna and Baby Sadie, and 2- because they wanted to be able to go to our Ward Walkabout, and we said that if she was born that early, we would be back in time to go - otherwise they'd have to hope that she was born after Saturday morning if they wanted a chance to attend. Shantel guessed Saturday at 10:25 p.m. because she thought that sounded nice (she also wanted to go to the Walkabout).
Sunday, June 16, 2019 - Day
Father's Day was a really nice day. My dad came down the night before to stay with us/my mom and came to church with us. My little brother Jacob showed up right as sacrament meeting was starting and asked, "Is there room for an uncle here?" David and I got to sit together during Sunday School which hasn't happened in our own ward in at least 6 years due to our callings I was released as the primary president two weeks ago, but last Sunday was RS. We were really hoping for the chance to go to Sunday School together at least once! (The Primary came in and asked for female subs, and after a long pause I volunteered because I've had enough experience needing subs when no one volunteered quickly- and it's an awful feeling. But when I got down to the room they sent me to, they didn't need me after all - so I happily came back and sat between David and my dad and it was wonderful.) After church Melissa surprised us by stopping by, and it was just a really nice day surrounded by my family - celebrating two of the best dads that I know. David, and my own dad. (Plus David and I took a nap while Caleb was napping and the kids were playing cards and it was just so restful and such a happy day.)
A note: I had actually started having a few inconsistent contractions on Friday night (my mom let David and go out for a little date after the kids were in bed). I had similar inconsistent contractions on Saturday, and I didn't really mention it to anyone except David. Sunday I started having contractions as soon as I woke up, about 10 minutes apart - but they weren't anything particularly strong and I didn't really talk about them - even though I had them all through Church, our little father's day party, and the rest of our Sunday. I just felt such peace that they would either turn into real contractions, or they wouldn't, and either way, it would be fine. I was happy to just enjoy the day. Also, I bought David an awesome sweatshirt/jacket that I was really excited to give to him - and the kids had made his Father's Day gifts that they were excited about, and so we were all glad to be at home celebrating Father's Day together.
Sunday, June 16, 2019 - Night
Sunday night, we got the kids in bed - all in the same room. Side story: Caleb suddenly decided to stop sleeping in his own bedroom this week and so we moved him into sleep with Austin and Lydia before Baby came and demanded her own sleep time attention. #desperation. We came back downstairs and I noted that my contractions were coming about 5 minutes apart and were starting to get a little more intense. I was still easily walking and talking through them, but it felt like they were turning into real contractions. Our goal this time around was to get to the hospital earlier so as not to be having hard labor during the car ride and while jumping through the admitting hoops at the hospital. Actually, David will jump in with some "official goals" for this labor/delivery since he has been holding Lucy and I'm ready for some Lucy time and want to take some cute pictures of her:
Labor/Delivery Goals: (Besides the obvious things of getting a beautiful healthy girl here).
1. Get to the hospital a little earlier. Things went really well with Caleb, except that Shantel was having some of those harder contractions in the car and while she had to be monitored at the hospital for the first 30 minutes.
2. Have an unmedicated labor (without an epidural) OR get an epidural asap, especially if things seemed like they would be different.
Okay, so we didn't have any "official" goals. But those two things were things that we had discussed and so when it seemed like my contractions were getting more serious, we decided to pack things up and see where things took us. We went upstairs and hugged the kids one more time, telling Lydia and Austin that it was possible that Baby Lucy would come during the night, rehearsing the plan for them if that was to happen, and to tell them that we loved them.
(David: Lydia was so excited. As soon as I told her we were going to the hospital, her face lit up with this amazing glow of excitement. I had told her I would be up to read her a book after the boys went to sleep, but obviously, those plans changed and I wanted her to know. I told her that if we were gone in the morning, then we had the baby, but if we were home, we didn't. She asked if I would read to her in the morning if we did not have the baby and I promised I would. Then she gave me the best hug goodbye.)
8:47 p.m.
I wasn't quite ready to go to the hospital yet but thought the idea of heading to the temple (just down the street from the hospital) sounded nice. We figured this would work great with our plan of being able to get to the hospital right as contractions got more significant. We left our house at 8:47 pm. The Temple was beautiful and there was a beautiful pink sunset in the backdrop. It reminded me how that morning I had woken up really early and noticed that there was a beautiful pink sunrise right outside our window. A beautiful day to have a baby. We took a couple of pictures and then started walking around the temple.
9:10 p.m. We made it a 1/4th of the way around the temple and Shantel realized she needed to go to the bathroom (she drank a whole thing of water on the drive to the temple). We finished walking around the temple and then decided we would head over to the hospital since they had a bathroom. We used the bathroom on the 1st floor and then went back out to the car to try and decide what to do. It is really so hard to know. Shantel felt like her contractions were a little harder, but not really as strong as they were when we headed to the hospital with Caleb and still in a range where we would have been surprised if they sent us home and did not admit us, but not completely shocked. After a prayer, we decided to go ahead and head up to the hospital and we figured if it was not time yet, it would not be a big deal to be sent home.
I mentioned before that this was the most different experience of any of our labors - mostly because everything was so calm the whole time. (Even with Lydia, which was much longer, we didn't really know much and so everything was much more intense and unknown.) I felt a lot of peace just knowing that she'd come when she was ready and that it would be okay.
9:45 p.m.
It was a bit of an odd experience based on our other babies to just walk into labor and delivery and tell them we were having contractions. It was about 9:45 pm as we walked in. We felt like we had to justify ourselves saying things like..."I know it looks like she is not having big contractions, but our babies have come fast, so we don't want to get here too late again." Apparently, it was a really busy night in labor and delivery. There were no triage rooms available at all, so they took, us back to one of the labor and delivery rooms. This was actually nice because then we never had to move and also, Shantel had such a bad experience in the triage room with Lydia, that is was nice not to be there, even though we were in triage and not being admitted yet.
I have this thing about triage rooms. Shudder. But it wasn't so bad, mostly because I've grown more confident in myself and in my body and in knowing what myself and my body want during labor. After they'd hooked me up to the machines and whatnot, the nurse started to cover me with a blanket - saying something about laying down. My brain said "Yeah, I'm not doing that", and hopefully I was a bit more polite as I verbally declined and moved to sit to the edge of the bed - even standing next to the machines so as to be able to move around a bit more.
The contractions had definitely picked up a little bit since we left the house and Shantel had to pause and breath through them. The nurse checked Shantel and she was at about 3 1/2. So they got her hooked up to the monitors and said that they would check her in an hour and see if she progressed enough.
I had been preparing for this beautiful unmedicated birth and am so grateful for David who was so supportive of me. I was able to attend the birth of my best friend just a few weeks ago and it was powerful and incredible and I loved witnessing such a miracle. I wanted that for myself. To be strong and confident and powerful. I was breathing like a pro and even turned on a labor soundtrack with relaxation techniques for a little while. None of this was because I was actually in pain yet - I just wanted to get in the right mindset for things. But it was getting late and I could tell that things weren't going as quickly as they had before. Something just felt different. I started to worry about getting sent home, even though we'd been telling ourselves that it would be fine. My contractions were such that I knew I wouldn't be comfortable driving all the way home and going to sleep - but they also weren't going to get me a baby in the next two hours. It was getting late, and the later at night - the more emotional I get. David was making me laugh through my tears and was being such an incredible support to me. I was all hooked up to monitors, but he stood right with me and held me as I rocked back and forth. I had considered hiring a birth photographer (especially after being able to take pictures at my friend, Ashley's birth and having them turn out so beautifully) - even though they were really expensive. I'm infinitely glad that we didn't - especially with how everything turned out, but I said something about how that moment was why I wanted a birth photographer. I wished that I could have a picture capturing how strong and supportive and wonderful David was - standing with me. Loving me. He cheerfully offered to take a picture for me and we both laughed through his attempts to capture the moment. (Very poor attempts I might add).
11:00 p.m.
The Nurse came back at 11 and checked Shantel again and she was at 3 1/2, but she said something like, she was a 3 and now she is at a 3 1/2. Shantel had said that the contractions had been getting stronger but not necessarily getting closer. They weren't intensifying as rapidly as we were expecting and the nurse told us that she was going to give us another hour to see if things would pick up. I said a few prayers over the next hour that Shantel would be able to be admitted. I really felt like it was slower, but if we were sent home we would be back shortly.
This is the fork in the road right here. I have this tiny feeling that this is the turning point that we could have made a different decision and ended up with a different outcome. We could have chosen to go home, go to sleep, and try again a different day. Probably the contractions would have slowed or stopped if I had gone home and gone to sleep, and maybe come back the next day with new intensity. But it also could have happened that we would drive home, contractions pick up, and have to drive back in the middle of the night (and all the accompanying emotions with that).
Note that it's getting pretty late at night here. We have a running joke (that is also actually 100% serious) if it's late at night and I'm feeling particularly emotional about something, we'll just say (either David or myself), "Go to bed, you'll feel better in the morning." I don't handle things well when I'm tired and especially making such a big decision put me emotionally on edge.
So it was a relief that the nurse told us that we could stay one more hour, but I also feel like this is the point where we personally chose the path that we'd take to get our baby girl here. I don't regret it at all, not really - especially given the circumstances, and especially the time of night.
We accepted the offer to stay for the second hour and after a few minutes of resting, I requested that the monitors be removed and started really moving around the room. I went into the bathroom and soaked my feet in the bathtub, and mentally encouraged my body to start moving my baby and tried to get things moving. I couldn't get IN the tub because I hadn't been admitted yet, but even just soaking my legs/feet in the warm water felt nice and calming.
I still didn't feel like I was progressing very much, which was a key indicator that this labor was just going to be different than the last two. I didn't feel overly upset about that (and still don't), but it did make us reconsider how we wanted to handle things. I feel like we did a really great job of just taking things as they came and just dealing with them without a lot of stress or worry. I mean, I cried. A lot. I'm a crier, especially if it's after 10 p.m. But I wasn't overly upset or concerned. At one point I said to David. "Okay, new plan. We are going to get admitted, and then I want an epidural asap. I want to go to sleep and have a baby in the morning." David knew how much I had been planning and preparing for an unmedicated birth, and he was wonderful as he encouraged me and told me that I was strong and that I didn't need to get an epidural if I didn't want one - I could do it. I am so grateful for him. But there was something inside of me that said that this labor was going to be different than the others, and the thought of having a baby in the middle of the night with no sleep was just not what I wanted. I wanted to go to sleep, get some rest, because "Go to sleep, you'll feel better in the morning" is an absolute life truth.
Thankfully the nurse came in and must have been feeling generous to us. I feel like it was really an answer to my prayers. She had asked Shantel how the contractions were and Shantel told her they were stronger than before. She checked Shantel and said, you are at a 4, maybe 4 1/2, like a 5. My guess is Shantel was closer to a 4, maybe a 4 1/2 and that she had only progressed 1/2 a cm to 1 cm in the 2 to 2 1/2 hours since we arrived (to be admitted you need to progress 1 cm per hour or if you are at a 5). I am grateful for the nurse because I think she sensed the baby was coming, just a little slowly. So I think she fudged the numbers just a bit so we could be admitted. However, she said she would have to talk to the doctor before they could admit us. This made Shantel a little stressed about whether we would really be admitted. However, I was grateful because I think she told the doctor the circumstances and made sure it would be okay admitting Shantel even if it was slower. A few minutes later she came back and told us that we would be admitted and I was very relieved. By that point, I really felt like we should have the baby and that going home would be hard on Shantel. From this point on, I really started to feel the excitement of having a baby now that I knew it was coming and really happening.
12:26 a.m.
As soon as we were admitted, I told them that this labor was clearly different than my others and that I had decided I wanted an epidural and to go to sleep. I'm sure they could have gotten my epidural in and then broken my water to speed things up, but they didn't - by 1:00 a.m. I had my epidural in. I sobbed through the whole thing - and those kind nurses just kept assuring me that my contractions wouldn't be as painful soon. But I wasn't crying because of the pain, I was crying because it was late and I just cry after midnight. I don't know that any of them really believed me, but my emotions were high and my tears were flowing. The underlying peace that my baby was going to be here soon was there, and I was just glad to be following our new plan. Epidural asap- then go to sleep.
Shantel was really tired. We decided to call for the epidural, but they would start the bath in case it would take a few minutes for the anesthesiologist to get there. However, before they even finished getting the bath ready, the anesthesiologist was there, it was so fast. Just as they had things set up and were getting Shantel's signature for the epidural, Shantel was really scared/nervous about it. I tried to be supportive without knowing whether to push her to get the epidural or not force her into it if she did not want it. However, she pushed forward and said she wanted it. I was glad for her because I felt like it would really help her.
It was nice to have this time after the epidural similar to what we had with Lydia. With Austin and Caleb, there was not similar time to really prepare to have the baby. I loved being able to take a few pictures, feel close to Shantel and start to prepare ourselves for the baby to come.
David alternated laying in bed with me (another moment that I wish I could have captured in photographic form), laying on the couch, and sitting next to me & sleeping with his head on a pillow leaned against the side of the bed. I slept fairly well, waking frequently to breathe through contractions that weren't painful- but I could still tell they were there and I wanted to help my body do it's thing. I lay there thinking about how different the experience was and just feeling peaceful about the whole thing. Our little lady was making her entrance in a much different way, with stillness and quiet moments in the middle of the night. I talked to her about how much I loved her. I had the time to look at David and think about what an amazing husband and support he was and what an incredible father he is. It was calm and peaceful throughout the rest of the night.
We told the nurses that we were not in a rush to have Shantel's water broken because we wanted her to get some rest, but that they could do it as soon as the doctor was ready. It was a little while until he was coming in to help another patient, and so around 4 they said he would be in to break her water.
4:15 a.m.
Just after four, they came in checked me (still only at a 6) and broke my water to get things moving, but then they left and said they'd be back about 5:30 to check me again. Part of me was like "Okaaaayyyy? But remember about how once my labors get going - they go fast?" But they must have been experienced enough to know how this labor was going, and they just told me to call them back if I felt a lot of pressure or the urge to push. They left and didn't come back until about 6. (The nurse popped her head in at five and said she'd come back with the shift change.) It was all still fine. Just me and my baby and my husband resting and getting ready for our sweet girl's arrival.
I really treasured this time with Shantel. As she mentioned, I had laid with her a while, then moved to the couch and finally back to a chair next to the bed so I could hold her hand because I just wanted to be close to her and for her to feel my love and support.
6:10 a.m.
I had been feeling like things were really progressing, but my contractions on the monitor were slow and holding steady at about 5-6 minutes apart. I was surprised that they weren't closer, because I was definitely feeling like things were getting more intense. The nurse came in and said that she was going to check me, and then depending on how much I'd progressed they would probably put me on Pitocin just to help things get moving. I agreed, knowing that she and I were on the same page with the length between contractions. I thought that I had progressed - but wouldn't have been surprised if I was wrong.
Shantel paused before agreeing to the Pitocin when the nursed asked. I think the nurse thought Shantel was not on board, but I feel like Shantel could just tell that she had progressed more than the nurse thought. However, it seemed like Shantel just thought about it and decided, if she had progressed more, they would not both with Pitocin, or if not, she would be fine with it, so she agreed with the plan.
She checked me and was a little surprised as she said "Oh, you're... about complete! Yep, you're definitely at a 10, you're complete!
There was another nurse in the room at the same time and she looked over a little surprised, like are you sure. So she asked and the nurse said, "yes, complete, plus 1 and fully effaced."
It was such a different experience for me because instead of the rushing, bustling, adrenaline-filled moments before delivery - everyone was just very calm about the whole thing. The nurses said that they'd go call the doctor. People started moseying around getting ready, the doctor sauntered in, and I just watched in wonder at how calm everything was. At some point during the night, I had started wondering if I was even going to have a baby. Like, what was I even doing there at the hospital? I had hoped for a good adrenaline kick, but everything was feeling really surreal. I looked over to David for reassurance, and there he was smiling down at me, telling me that I was going to do wonderfully and that it was time to get our little girl here. I started crying immediately - just so overcome with emotion and the prospect of meeting our little Lucy. After just a few pushes through one contraction, she was there! I had already unsnapped my hospital gown in preparation for her and pulled her to my chest, just sobbing with joy and love and emotion.
Once the nurse said she was complete, I felt so excited and happy. The nurse called for the doctor and said it might be a minute and then they tried to get a hold of the respiratory specialists, but had a little trouble. Dr. Ollerton (the on call Valley OB that night) got everything prepared and the respiratory group actually rolled in just after delivery when everything was fine. (When the doctor broke the water he noticed a little meconium in the fluid, which is why they wanted the respiratory team there.) One nurse grabbed on of Shantel's legs and I grabbed the other. They told her to start pushing at the next contraction and she did. We counted to 10 and then she took a breath and we asked her to push again. By the end of that push, I could see the top of baby Lucy's head and told Shantel that I could see her. We asked her to push one more time and as she did I saw Lucy's head emerge. The doctor stopped us while he unwrapped the umbilical cord from around her neck. It was wrapped around twice and he quickly unwrapped it and then Lucy slid all the way out and they immediately moved her to Shantel. They tried to wipe her with towels, while they handed to her and Shantel just said, "I just want her on my chest, I just want my baby" and so they put her straight on her chest. It is truly an indescribable joy on Shantel's face once she has her baby on her chest. She likes like she has relief and accomplishment and joy and love. A few minutes later they asked if I would cut the cord. I felt so much joy and happiness to have our little girl there and to see her in Shantel's arms. I never know the right balance between enjoying the moment and taking a few pictures to capture the joy that we have, but I waited a minute to soak things in and then took a few pictures.
Once Lucy was on my chest, I was just so happy. I basically ignored everyone but David from there on out. I'm not even sure that anyone said another word to me. We've said before that the epidural is worth it just for not having to deal with the after-birth efforts (the placenta, the stitches, the pushing on the uterus, etc...). And it was true again - I just held my baby and prayed my gratitude and cried. I didn't even notice anything else. (But for the record, the doctor said that I didn't tear at all, so that's a good thing.) The nurses let us stay in the room for a good long time. I held Lucy and wanted David as close as he could be.
Eventually, we asked one of the nurses to snap a quick picture of us. (It may be my favorite picture of the whole day, it brings back a flood of emotion every time I look at it.) I nursed her and everything was just peaceful.
After about an hour they were ready to weigh Lucy and took her over to be weighed and measured. It was beautiful to hold our baby girl for the first time.
Weight: 7lbs 13oz (exactly one lb smaller than Caleb at 8lbs 13oz - A&L were both 7lbs 3oz.)
Length: 19 inches (update: at her 4-day checkup she measured at 20 inches so this birth measurement was probably a little off)
I said that this labor and birth were different - and really, it's true. It was different than what we'd experienced before. Different than what we expected or planned. It was slow and mostly quiet. Filled with reflective moments and prayers. It was peaceful and perfect for our little Lucy. I'm so grateful for her. Grateful that she's here and safe. Grateful that she's healthy. Grateful that I had David by my side every step of the way. I loved spending the following days in the hospital, bonding and growing together with our new baby. It's such a special time and I treasure it.
It truly was so special. I feel like those hours bringing Lucy here were such an incredible process of bonding with our baby. and bringing her into our family. I also feel like the bond between Shantel and I grows and is strengthened so much during this time. We rely on each other and we love each other and the bond between us grows even stronger. I love you Lucy and I love you Shantel.
Lucy, your arrival on this earth is only one tiny blip at the beginning of your story. But, I hope that you'll always know that you were loved from the very first second. You, your Dad, and I - we are a team. We always have been and we always will be. We are here for you, always and forever. We love you so much and are so grateful to have you in our family. We aren't perfect, not by a long shot, but together we will figure things out and we will always always love you.
