Power of Fun

Earlier this year I (Shantel) read the book "The Power of Fun" by Catherine Price. To say that I enjoyed it was an understatement. I loved the idea of creating a scaffolding of fun in my life to make for a more well-rounded, healthier, and happier quality of life. The book talks about fun as a "guiding star", which goes a little far for me - there are a lot of other things that would take the place of a "guiding star" in my life before fun would. However, the idea of the importance of fun and the tools for recognizing and implementing fun was impactful. Mostly I just wanted to talk to anyone I could about it. Basically, any person that I've talked to in the past 6 months has heard at least a portion of my thoughts about this concept and has been encouraged to read the book so they could talk to me about it. 

I told David that he should read the book and he said that he would. Finally, I checked the book out from the library and gave it to him and said "But really... I want you to read this book!" David gets extra brownie points because not only did he read the book, but he got his work book club to read the book and then we hosted a book club at our house so that I could join in on the discussion. 

We have had a lot of good conversations about FUN; what it is, when we have had true fun, and how fun can help create a happy and well-rounded life. 

 True fun (according to Ms. Price of "The Power of Fun) requires three things: playfulness, connection, and flow. True fun can turn experiences into powerful moments of connection and treasured memory.

We decided to make a list of the "true fun" we've had together in our marriage. Clearly we've had a lot of fun together and we can't list everything. But here are some of our most fun things that stand out as core memories:  

TOP 10 FUN MOMENTS

1. Caught in a rainstorm while at SeaWorld in Orlando (honeymoon in 2009) 

2. March Madness in 2010 (we pulled our mattress out into the living room of our tiny apartment and alternated watching the basketball games with ranking the commercials that played repeatedly). 

3. Galveston, TX (We loved our whole trip to Houston, but our day in Galveston was a true life highlight 2013)

4. Hot Tub Studio C (We've watched this probably 100 times and laugh harder each time. We show it to anyone who mentions a hot tub around us and just don't understand why they don't think it's as funny as we do, 2014)

5, The Nerd (theater performance at Hale Center Theater in 2016)

6. Oregon Coast (Another trip that we loved, but specifically the day that we were at the beach and Lydia and Austin ran up and down the sandy beach being chased by the incoming waves over and over and over - or maybe the time we went down to the beach right at sunset and flew kites, 2016)

7. Secret Hitler with friends (Who is a better liar, David or Shantel? You'll never know unless you play Secret Hitler with us. This night with a group of neighbors was hilarious and full of lies and accusations, 2019)

8. Storage Room Flooring (We couldn't get the carpet squares to cut out correctly and it was stressful but we were in it together and ended up laughing so hard we cried, 2020) 

9. Navajo Lake (We went boating with the Rencher's at a beautiful mountain lake in southern Utah. We rented a boat that only went a few miles an hour, rigged our paddle boards to the back with hammock straps, and then did tricks while balancing on them. We got caught in a hailstorm while we put-putted back to shore and everything about this memory is true fun, 2022.) 

10. Pihea Trail (The spontaneity, the mud, the laughing, the connection to David and the other people on the trail, everything about it combined to turn into a favorite adventure, 2022) 

All of these things are memories of "True Fun".  It's one of those things that words can't really explain WHY it was so fun but that even just remembering the experience gives you the same feeling of lightness, laughter, and fun.

As we were coming up with our list there were a number of memories that we had that couldn't be narrowed down into one single memory or date - but were more like general categories of times when we tend to have true fun together. We decided to call these "Fun Groupings". 

Fun Groupings

Laying in bed talking/laughing (usually way past bedtime)

Racing through the grocery store to grab "just one thing" (usually a treat we are grabbing and have to be fast to get back to pick up kids from the babysitter)

Playing games at Christmas with our extended family (Wendy & Sam or the Walker Family) 

One of the things that I liked learning about in the "Power of Fun" was the idea of "Fun Factors" or "Fun Magnets", some things that I realized about myself were that some of my fun factors are: spontaneity, small groups, and activities involving water.  I think that if I had to choose a #1 fun factor it would be spontaneity. Something is likely to be 100x more fun if it's a last-minute adventure. David is my #1 Fun Magnet. Basically, anything I do with him, from yard work to date night, is fun. 

I just really liked this book and have had a "fun" time incorporating the things that I learned into our lives. We called this summer our "Summer of Fun" and it was fabulous. Having permission to HAVE FUN and making the effort to build playgrounds where FUN is more likely has been good for my soul this year. (Especially as we are coming out of Covid, we have really really needed a year of FUN.) I also thought it was so interesting how much she talked about technology usage and how that is the antithesis of fun (basically a fun-killer). It has encouraged me to be more mindful about my screen usage, leading me to read her first book "How to Break-up with your Smartphone". It's a process, but something that is just as important as building in time for fun (probably even more important.) 

Note from David: I also really loved this book. When I think about someone who was really fun - I always think about my Grandma McAllister. If you were around her - you were probably having fun. I remember as I grew up that we would go and just want to be around her listening to her, even if that meant 10 people crowding into a small bathroom while she was getting ready for the day or getting ready for bed at night. I had a few takeaways from the book.

-As Shantel mentioned - Media and technology can take up too much space in our life and take away chances we have for true fun. This is a really hard area - but one that I am working on to make sure I am balanced and wise in my media usage. 

-Shantel is also my fun magnet, that is the best and fastest way for me to have fun. Other things fun magnets or things that are more likely to lead to fun for me: Small groups; Sporting events; Games; Analyzing business/talking. 

I couple of other top fun things that were just on my list were: 

-Nevada vs. USU Basketball January 29, 2009 - Trailing by 2, USU went on a 17-0 run. I always went at 6 am or so to wait for front-row seats and at this game, I gave our "pre-game" speech. The Nevada coach indicated that crowd noise would not be a factor - and we made sure it was. Check out this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=68w8DuGU4LE

-Carcassonne - Massive game with the Walker family with about 4 expansions that went on for multiple hours until late in the night. 

-Any random lunch date with Shantel that comes up last second. Recently she had someone watching the kids and I had time to sneak away from work and it was amazing. 

-College Football Playoff Game - Alabama vs. Clemson (January 9, 2017) - Watched the game at Derek Perkins House.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ge_LtzUMZF0

A Date, busy season & Fun

In my Easter post, I mentioned that David and I were able to go on a date to the Lamb of God with some friends. It was a lovely performance, and I loved being there with David. 

 I had asked my mom (last minute, she's the best) if she would watch the kids because we were going to be out late. She agreed, so I drove the kids to Morgan on Friday night and came back to pick them up Saturday morning. David had to work, but we were able to sneak in a morning date at Tangie's Cafe in AF. 

We have wanted to go to Tangie's Cafe since the first few months that we lived here in Lehi. It's right on American Fork main street and you drive past it on the way to the temple. They have kind of weird hours, especially for a young working couple (and then a couple with a brand new baby). Over the years, we've mentioned wanting to go there, but just never have. When we woke up that morning we realized we could squeeze in a morning breakfast date. As David was looking up options on his phone he mentioned Tangie's and I jumped on it! It ended up being perfect. A cowboy style cafe that spoke to Lehi's roots. It reminded me of the cafe in Lyman (a real cowboy cafe) or the little cafe in Ephraim growing up. It made me happy that it's survived through all the change it has surely seen. 

I've been reading a book about FUN and how making space for "fun" can help you create a healthier, happier, well-rounded life. Some of my fun factors include doing new things and doing spontaneous things. I sometimes try to substitute real fun with food, like "Look how much fun we're having, do you want an ice cream cone?" In that case, the food is not truly fun. However, I realized that I can get that same feeling of connectedness and happiness when we are spontaneously trying a new restaurant (that we've talked about for years). 

I had fun with David - he's my ultimate fun magnet and I'm grateful for this little bit of time we got to spend together in the busy-season-that-will-never-end-2022. He's been working so hard, and my last report from him was that there still isn't a light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe we are rounding the last big curve that you have to go around before you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. So here's hoping for that because the kids and I are missing him and he's weary from working so much and so hard. 

The other night David got home from work late but Austin was still awake, and I told Austin that he would come in to snuggle him as soon as he changed. It took David a minute to change and when he went to Austin he was just sobbing in his bed because he was missing David so much. That's when I realized that although this is not MY hardest busy season (the kids are at good ages and we are keeping busy) it really is hard on the kids to not see their dad. We will all be glad when summer comes and we get to spend more time with this guy that we all love best.