Peaden Family Christmas Party

It was a little tender to have our Peaden Family Christmas Party at Cal and Sue's house. The tree and Christmas village have been up since last Christmas - we never took them down. Sue loved Christmas so much, and we certainly missed her this year. However, it was nice to gather with the family and feel of the love and connection that we have with each other. I am grateful for these good people and the way they love me, my husband, and our family. 

We have taken a picture in front of the Peaden Family Christmas tree every year since we got married. (I wonder if David and I took a picture the year that we were dating? I should look.) Christmas in this home is magical, and I have loved the many years celebrating here. 

Kevin and Amy were in charge of the party and we had a cookie decorating content (a favorite tradition), then we played some games, watched some sports (ha), and everyone got to pick a house from Sue's Dickens Village. 


Shantel's cookie (9)

Austin's Cookie (13) - Lydia's Cookie (7) - a Stable! 

David's Cookie (2) - Caleb's Cookie (6)

Lucy's Cookie (1) 

Sue loved her Dickens Village. 



Change is hard, but must be met with gratitude for the past and hope for the future. That's probably all that I'm capable of saying about this without getting too emotional. We were able to pick some pieces of this village to take home and in the years to come we will set them up with love and remember Sue and be grateful. 

Cal pulled out this picture of the year the kids gave Sue a new table for her kitchen for Christmas. I have loved doing so many things on this table: crafts, making cookies, sewing blankets, eating family dinner. I scanned it in so we have a copy of the picture and I'm going to add it to a story that I'm writing about Sue. In fact, maybe I'll put my draft of the picture book right here so that if it never gets turned into a book - at least it's here. It's not finished - but it's going to be one of my 2025 projects to make it happen. 

"Sue Loved Christmas", a picture book. 

Page 1 - There once was a little girl who loved Christmas. 

Page 2 - Her parents made her Christmases magical. 

Her father worked extra hours during the holidays, working all day plus an extra2-3 night a week refereeing at ball games. However, he always took time, to take the family down to the tree lot to pick out a tree. The family always searched for the perfect tree and it was allways a pinon pine. They would take it home and watch as her father place the tree in a bucket of sand and then help decorate it together. 

Her mother would bake all month long, filling their home and tummies with delicious Christmas goodies: sugar cookies, peanut butter fudge, donut balls, and all other kinds of good things to eat. On Christmas Eve she would make their traditional Christmas Roll and that evening the family would gather around to tell the Nativity Story. 

She loved it all. She loved the smell of the fresh cut pinion pine mixing with the warm scent of her mothers baked goods wafting through the house. She loved watching her mother roll the soft cinnamon-filled dough into a wreath and carefully topping it with walnuts and cherries. She loved listening to the story of the little baby Jesus before excitedly making her way to bed awaiting the special surprises Santa was sure to deliver that night. 

Page 3 - That little girl grew up, married, and started a family of her own. Even though they didn’t have a lot of money - she always made sure that her kids Christmases were magical. She filled their holiday with baked goods, unique traditions, and thoughtful gifts. 

As she wrapped presents, she came up with secret names to place on the nametags so her children wouldn’t be able to guess whose present was whose. She and her husband often took their children to see the lights at Temple Square in Salt Lake City. She filled their home with Christmas songs and by playing Christmas music on tape cassettes and CDs. She baked and baked, filling her children’s holiday with the same Christmas goodies her mother had made for her: sugar cookies, peanut butter fudge, donut balls, and all other kinds of good things to eat. On Christmas Eve she would follow the example of her mother and she would make their traditional Christmas Roll. That evening the family would gather around to act out the Nativity Story complete with costumes and enough children for all of the parts. 

She made Christmas magical. 

Page 4 - Her children learned to love Christmas, too. One year they decide to deliver their own Christmas surprise! They had long had an old table her husband had built our of plywood and  formica countertop. It was no secret that she’s always wanted a really nice table but didn’t have the funds to purchase one on her own. She was invited to come furniture shopping with her oldest son who had just purchased a home of his own. Casually, the conversation turned to which tables were the nicest. Secret notes were taken about which she preferred, and a secret order was placed mixing and matching her favorite table and chairs from a different set.

The surprise was set in motion and her children arranged to have it delivered to a neighbors house many weeks before Christmas. That neighbor agreed to store it until the night before Christmas. That  october and november to a neihbors house. Christmas Eve she had so much to do to get ready for Christmas and Cal was supposed to get her out of the house and she was so irritated. Stowed the stuff in the sewing room (mats bedroom) he told her “YOu can’t go in here!” Stored them in there. Wedny ended up staying. 5:00 in the morning. Got up quiet as could possibly be. Put the table together and put a big red bow on it. She started suspecting something but they wouldn’t let her out of her room. When they were ready they let her out and the kitchen table was all set up and ready - it was all set up with a big red bow. 

"I was just shocked. I had no idea. Just stunned. It made me feel incredibly loved."

Page 5 - Even after her kids were grown she loved Christmas. She loved surprises.  She would hear something that someone wanted or liked and would log it away to be a surprise Christmas gift. She made Christmas magical for all that came into her home and loved them like they were her own: her children's spouses and ESPECIALLY her grandchildren.

Page 6- (Something to wrap up how beautiful her Christmas Spirit was and how Christmas will always have a piece of there there.)

Sue

Sue's birthday is December 2nd. (She was born December 2, 1951)

As we approached this day, we knew that it was going to be pretty tender and we made plans for how we wanted to celebrate it. We wanted to go to See's Candies and let all of the kids pick a chocolate, then take them our to dinner at El Farols (Sue's favorite Mexican restaurant in SLC). We invited the rest of the Peaden Family and made out plans. As the day got closer, plans changed a little bit and we adjusted. 

David met up with us at lunchtime for a trip to See's Candies. Sue loved this shop and their chocolates. Each year at Christmas-time she would pick out a box for each child with their favorites (at least, she did this for them as adults - I don't remember when it started for their family). She almost always had a box of chocolates by her bed, and even when she was struggling to eat anything - she would lean over and nibble on a chocolate to get her calories. We let each of the kids pick a chocolate to try, and then we filled a 1lb box to share at Christmas-time. 

After a normal dinner at our house, we drove to the Renchers house for a birthday party for Sue. Aubrey made a cake and all the kids got to help blow out the candles. 

The kids took turns playing their Christmas songs on the piano. This was one of Sue's favorite things.


And then we played some games together, also one of Sue's favorite things. 


We miss Sue. She was such a wonderful mother and grandmother and we will forever be grateful for her presence and her impact on our lives. I think that this birthday party is exactly the party that she would have wanted for us - gathering together in someones home to spend time together as a family. She would have loved it. (She probably did love it!) 

I process my emotions differently than most of the Peadens and I love them for how much they love me. Amy is particularly sensitive to my emotional needs and I am grateful for the quiet conversations about feeling sad and for the heartfelt hugs from her. I ended up leaving early with the little kids so that David could stay and play games with the other kids and I was glad, because all I wanted to do was sit on the couch and cry. It was harder for me to chat and laugh and play games, but then I felt dumb because she wasn't even my real mom. But she feels like my real mom. The love I have for her is so strong and the loss I feel is as if I had lost my own mother. She is my real mom and I am grateful for her love and her influence on my life and on my own motherhood. It's okay for people to process that grief in different ways and I think this evening was an important gathering in helping us all in that process. 

We were so glad to celebrate Sue and her life and love. 

David: I was so grateful that we could go to See's as a way to remember my Mom. I will miss her so much and I hope that doing some of the things she loved is a good way to honor her. Especially during the few days before Christmas I think I felt missing her the most. I missed going to my parents house and all of the memories that brings. At our family Christmas party my Dad had each of us pick some Village Dickens pieces from her set and I was filled with sadness missing her be there. I am grateful to have the support of Shantel and my family and I feel the sting is so much less knowing that we will see her again. 

Update from Shantel:  

I listened to this beautiful talk by Elder Holland and loved its message so much: Christmas Comfort - https://video.byui.edu/media/t/0_gdiah3ma/13418722. It was a beautiful message about the loss of his father, the pain he experiences, and the peace that he finds in the Savior at Christmastime. It felt extra relevant to me this year and I was so grateful for the message of love, peace, and hope. 

"Birth, and life, and death, and salvation—the whole divine experience in all its richness and complexity—these are God’s Christmas gifts to us, all of them, and we receive them as a package—a Christmas package. I learned something about eternal life that Christmas as well as something about the life of Jesus of Nazareth. With new eyes then, that morning, I went back to look in on my father, the great gift giver who was starting to make his way out of the world on Christmas Day. He was doing so on the wings of the greatest gift ever given: the Atonement and Resurrection of the Lord Jesus Christ."

I am adding this note after Christmas and wanted to add that although I had been really worried about Christmas being really hard and sad, it ended up being really tender and beautiful. In part, I think that Sue's spirit was with us this Christmas filling us with her love of Christmas and love of family, but I also think that we did a good job of processing and celebrating her life. It was good for us to celebrate her birthday and to let ourselves feel sad. It was good to talk about her and make all of her favorite Christmas baking goodies to share with our friends and family. It was good to use her favorite Christmas things for our secret names this year. We felt her presence with us and it was beautiful. 

Mother's Day

I had a lovely Mother's Day today. I felt so loved and cared for by my family and feel so grateful to be the mother of this remarkable little family. I feel the responsibility and great work that is mine and pray that I am up to the task, weaknesses and all, of being the mother that is needed here. I love my role as wife and mother and am incredibly grateful for it and grateful for the enabling power of Jesus Christ to help me along the way. I am also incredibly grateful for David and the respect, love, and support he shows me and that we get to be on this journey together as a team. (Photo from March, but I love it so much.) 

We spent the evening of Mother's Day at the Peaden Home in West Jordan. This was our first mother's day without Sue and we missed her dearly. We wanted to be together with Amy, Kevin, and Cal on this day and although it was sad, it was also really special to remember that the impact of Sue's motherhood to us all will be never-ending. 

In addition to those Mother's Day thoughts, I wanted to include some of the things that were shared at church because they were meaningful to me. 

During Sacrament meeting, Brother Fowles shared this quote in his talk: 

"Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and you look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role if women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your device nature and destiny." - Elder Glenn L Pace 

During Relief Society, the RS President Tara Gotfredson shared some portions of the talk "What Shall We Do?" by Neill F. Marriott - YW 2nd Counselor, April 2016 (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/what-shall-we-do?lang=eng)

I loved this talk and wanted to save it.

"Mothers literally make room in their bodies to nurture an unborn baby—and hopefully a place in their hearts as they raise them—but nurturing is not limited to bearing children. Eve was called a “mother” before she had children.4 I believe that “to mother” means “to give life.” Think of the many ways you give life. It could mean giving emotional life to the hopeless or spiritual life to the doubter. With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God. Sisters, all of us came to earth with these life-giving, nurturing, maternal gifts because that is God’s plan."

And as part of Relief Society, they had some of the youth come in and share their thoughts about mothers and motherhood. Eli Myntti, son of one of our dear (homeschooling) friends, wrote this prose and I was so impressed and inspired, I asked if he would share it with me so I could record it. 

Eli Myntti, May 12, 2024

Motherhood is a most noble profession. 

It provides young soldiers with someone to protect and someone to be taught by. Alma 53:21 says that they (the stripling warriors) were taught to keep the commandments. Who could have done this but their mothers? These mothers had to fight the battles of motherhood during these less advanced ages. 

Mothers are resilient and powerful. Perhaps not in magic or great swordsmanship (though some are) but they have power in influence and teaching. Through their influence and teaching the greatest men and women have become great. Would George Washington have had values if not for his mother? Would Betsy Ross have known how to sew if not for her mother? Mothers have great power and great responsibility over the young ones that they nurture. 

Those of you who are mothers can testify of the influence you have had on your children and the teachings of the spirit that you have given them. Those of you who are not yet blessed with children can testify of your mothers. 

All mothers in their own way emulate aspects of God. His unending love. His boundless compassion. His tender mercy. These have been given to you. Even if you do not have children you have these traits inside of you. God speaks to you and teaches you the right way to go. I am a firm believer that without the power and influence from women the church would not be on this earth today. So many times it was the unshaken faith of women that brought the saints forward. Even now the faith of women brings this church beyond the others. This gift that you have from God is sacred and testifies of his love for us on earth through you. 

We could not survive without you. Every one of you makes a difference, you may not see it at first. It may be just a single comment in a class or it may be a lifesaving revelation but every one of you makes differences in the lives of all those that you meet. 

I would like to close by calling you to arms. Not military arms, however, but the arms of our Heavenly Parents. They love you and your families and friends love you. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Disneyland Trip: Backstory & Final Thoughts

I have so many things to say about our Disneyland trip, I barely know where to start.



David went to Disneyland once when he was 8 years old (October 1992). I couldn't find any Disneyland pictures of David, but this picture of their white van was taken in 1993. The San Diego picture was taken in 1989, but it's one of my favorites of little David and his family.


I went to Disneyland when I was about 14 (2002). I was a part of a dance company (Girls Club Elite) and we had the opportunity to travel to Disneyland and dance on one of the stages there. In a gift that I didn't fully appreciate at the time but am almost overwhelmed by now, my parents agreed to fund my dance trip to Disneyland and they also decided to take our family to Disneyland two weeks before so that all of the family would have the experience first. I didn't learn until later that this was possible because of a generous gift from my Grandma and Grandpa Walker. When my Grandma and Grandpa Great (Kimba Rollins and Ellis Colvin Walker) passed away in 2001, my grandparents took $10,000 out of their inheritance to give to each of their children. There were no strings attached and they were able to use that money to pay for us to go to Disneyland as a family. This was such a neat experience for our family and now as an adult, I appreciate the trip even more.  



Fast forward to August 2023 when my Grandpa Walker (Ellis Ramon Walker) passed away. My grandma (Verla Tingey) had passed away in 2016.  A few months later, my parents reached out to us to tell us that they wanted to do the same thing for us that had been done for them: share $10,000 out of their inheritance with each of their children because they knew it was what Grandpa wanted (and they are kind and generous people). It is such a generous gift and we are so grateful for them and my grandparents. We talked about many things we could do with that money, and ultimately decided that we wanted to use half of it to take our family to Disneyland. 

We have never really been big Disney people. Lydia wasn't particularly interested in princesses and I didn't want to push them on her. Of course, we watched many Disney movies but we never really got into them. When people would ask us when we were taking the kids to Disneyland we would respond that it wasn't high on our priority list. There are so many places to visit and so many cool things to see. Our kids wouldn't even really recognize the characters AND they were so young that it didn't feel like a good use of our time/resources. However, this past year Lucy has fallen in love with princesses and wears a princess dress as her day's outfit more often than not. 

Lucy had been asking me things like "Where do all the princess live in real life?" and "Can we go to princess-world?" I don't even think she knew was Disneyland was - but it just felt like this was the perfect age to go. Lucy was old enough (and just barelllllly tall enough) for almost all of the rides but Lydia was still young enough to experience Disneyland as a child not a teenage. The kids love amusement parks and I knew they would love this. 

Additionally, it felt really nostalgic to me to use the money from my grandparents the same way that my parents did. That may seem silly, because there are a lot of things that we could have used the money for - but for whatever reason this just felt like it was the right thing to do. 

We wouldn't have gone on this trip without that money and we would have missed the perfect window to take our kids to Disneyland. It really was perfect timing for our family for more reasons than one and I'm so grateful for the trip! 

FINAL THOUGHTS 

-We purchased Disneyland tickets in December because there was a $50 kid ticket sale (usually more than $100 per day). We weren't able to use the tickets until the very last week of the available dates, which we must have had in common with everyone else because the place was PACKED. Before we left, people told me to prepare myself because Disneyland was busy. While I was there I definitely agreed with them, but didn't think more than "Wow, Disneyland IS busy." But when we got home we saw a bunch of Disneyland pros talking about how the days we were there were by far the business days since 2019 (precovid). It was even more busy than normal because it was the last week of the kid tickets and the first week of the DCA Food and Wine Festival that they hold in March. Even so, because we had the DAS pass for Lucy, we were able to ride every single thing we wanted to ride and we had plenty of time for food and shows and all the things. 

-We budgeted $4,000 for 3 days at Disneyland, 1 beach day, and 3 travel days. We spent $3962 and the kids spent an additional $236 of money they had saved from their Family Economy. I felt so good about ending up so close to out budget. Disneyland is an expensive vacation, but I felt like we did it well and got our money's worth out of the things we chose to do. (More details in "The Business of Disney" post.)

Disney Actual
3 Day Disney	1704
Homewood	878.6
Parking	140.4
St George	140.41
Food at Park	212.38
Souveniers	236.38
Gas	237.35
Beach Hotel +pk	154.11
Photopass	26.85
Travel Food	267.85
Pre-Vacation	200.36
Grand Total	4198.69
less F.Econ	3962.31

-I mentioned before, but the DAS pass made a huge difference to us. It allowed us to ride significantly more rides than we would have been able to otherwise. It made the whole thing less stressful for so many reasons. I don't feel guilty for using the DAS pass because I was completely honest when applying and the cast member cheerfully gave us the pass. However, sometimes I did feel like it was a gift that was more than expected and I did feel a little awkward sometimes. It was a boon to us for many reasons: Lucy didn't have to wait in the sun, we could plan our schedule without running all over the park, we could spend our time more efficiently (scheduling a ride with a 90 minute wait time, then going on a bunch of smaller rides while we waited or eating lunch in the shade, etc..), we didn't have to navigate lightning lanes. We could only use the DAS for rides that Lucy could go on, so we didn't do it with Indiana Jones or the Matterhorn and even though Lucy rode Smugglers Run the first time (earning a prize from her big ride bag) she hated it so much that when Caleb wanted to go again they waited through the whole line. It was fine, but it made me so incredibly grateful that we didn't have to wait for ALL of our rides. Only a few weeks after we got home they changed the DAS requirements and I'm pretty sure Lucy won't qualify anymore. Thats okay though, because we had it for the days that made a difference to us and we are grateful! 

-We probably won't go back to Disneyland for a long time - there are just so many neat places to travel to! But maybe we will go again right before Lydia graduates (Lydia 17 and Lucy 10?) that would be really fun, but who knows. 

-David's mother, Sue, passed away in January. Even though she'd been sick for a long time, it seems like it happened so fast and it was incredibly difficult for our little family. I will treasure the Thursday afternoons we spent with Sue and loved watching all of the princess movies with her in preparation for our Disneyland trip. Just days before she passed away we watched Cinderella together in her bedroom. I regret that we never told her that we were going to Disneyland (we hadn't told anyone because we hadn't told the kids, yet) because she would have been SO happy and so excited for us. We didn't know at the time, but this trip was just what we needed after several months of so much grief and sorrow. It was good for us to have something to look forward to and something happy to experience. We love Sue and miss her so much, but we know that she would have loved seeing all of the pictures and hearing about this trip. Pictures below are of when Cal and Sue went to Disneyland with the Renchers in 2009. We didn't get to go to Disneyland with them, but we are grateful for our trips to Phoenix and to the Redwoods with them.

 

-Overall, we just really enjoyed this trip. I can see why people love going to Disneyland over and over because we just barely scratched the surface of the magic that Disneyland can offer. The kids did a great job and we all enjoyed ourselves thoroughly. We planned the perfect amount to be prepared and also be flexible. I don't think that you can force something to be a core memory - but I do know that this trip was good for our family and we loved it so much.  

-I asked David what he would add and he said "Just to add how much I enjoyed being with the kids and how much fun we had. We really loved this trip." 

Old Photos of Sue

I love these photos of Sue. For the funeral we went through HUNDREDS of photos of Sue's Life. I'm going to print them into a book for our family, but don't think that this is the right place to post all of them. However - these are some that I wanted to have a home for here.