Mother's Day

I had a lovely Mother's Day today. I felt so loved and cared for by my family and feel so grateful to be the mother of this remarkable little family. I feel the responsibility and great work that is mine and pray that I am up to the task, weaknesses and all, of being the mother that is needed here. I love my role as wife and mother and am incredibly grateful for it and grateful for the enabling power of Jesus Christ to help me along the way. I am also incredibly grateful for David and the respect, love, and support he shows me and that we get to be on this journey together as a team. (Photo from March, but I love it so much.) 

We spent the evening of Mother's Day at the Peaden Home in West Jordan. This was our first mother's day without Sue and we missed her dearly. We wanted to be together with Amy, Kevin, and Cal on this day and although it was sad, it was also really special to remember that the impact of Sue's motherhood to us all will be never-ending. 

In addition to those Mother's Day thoughts, I wanted to include some of the things that were shared at church because they were meaningful to me. 

During Sacrament meeting, Brother Fowles shared this quote in his talk: 

"Sisters, I testify that when you stand in front of your heavenly parents in those royal courts on high and you look into Her eyes and behold Her countenance, any question you ever had about the role if women in the kingdom will evaporate into the rich celestial air, because at that moment you will see standing directly in front of you, your device nature and destiny." - Elder Glenn L Pace 

During Relief Society, the RS President Tara Gotfredson shared some portions of the talk "What Shall We Do?" by Neill F. Marriott - YW 2nd Counselor, April 2016 (https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2016/04/what-shall-we-do?lang=eng)

I loved this talk and wanted to save it.

"Mothers literally make room in their bodies to nurture an unborn baby—and hopefully a place in their hearts as they raise them—but nurturing is not limited to bearing children. Eve was called a “mother” before she had children.4 I believe that “to mother” means “to give life.” Think of the many ways you give life. It could mean giving emotional life to the hopeless or spiritual life to the doubter. With the help of the Holy Ghost, we can create an emotionally healing place for the discriminated against, the rejected, and the stranger. In these tender yet powerful ways, we build the kingdom of God. Sisters, all of us came to earth with these life-giving, nurturing, maternal gifts because that is God’s plan."

And as part of Relief Society, they had some of the youth come in and share their thoughts about mothers and motherhood. Eli Myntti, son of one of our dear (homeschooling) friends, wrote this prose and I was so impressed and inspired, I asked if he would share it with me so I could record it. 

Eli Myntti, May 12, 2024

Motherhood is a most noble profession. 

It provides young soldiers with someone to protect and someone to be taught by. Alma 53:21 says that they (the stripling warriors) were taught to keep the commandments. Who could have done this but their mothers? These mothers had to fight the battles of motherhood during these less advanced ages. 

Mothers are resilient and powerful. Perhaps not in magic or great swordsmanship (though some are) but they have power in influence and teaching. Through their influence and teaching the greatest men and women have become great. Would George Washington have had values if not for his mother? Would Betsy Ross have known how to sew if not for her mother? Mothers have great power and great responsibility over the young ones that they nurture. 

Those of you who are mothers can testify of the influence you have had on your children and the teachings of the spirit that you have given them. Those of you who are not yet blessed with children can testify of your mothers. 

All mothers in their own way emulate aspects of God. His unending love. His boundless compassion. His tender mercy. These have been given to you. Even if you do not have children you have these traits inside of you. God speaks to you and teaches you the right way to go. I am a firm believer that without the power and influence from women the church would not be on this earth today. So many times it was the unshaken faith of women that brought the saints forward. Even now the faith of women brings this church beyond the others. This gift that you have from God is sacred and testifies of his love for us on earth through you. 

We could not survive without you. Every one of you makes a difference, you may not see it at first. It may be just a single comment in a class or it may be a lifesaving revelation but every one of you makes differences in the lives of all those that you meet. 

I would like to close by calling you to arms. Not military arms, however, but the arms of our Heavenly Parents. They love you and your families and friends love you. I say this in the name of Jesus Christ, amen. 

Mothers Day

I'm a mother. They call me Mommy, Mama, Mom, and "MOM-MOM-MOM-MOM!"

This, from "Ordinary on Purpose": 

"Maybe He always knew motherhood would be hard, messy work. And maybe He understood exactly the ways I would struggle. 

Maybe He realized I would mess up and get it wrong and fall down and keep trying and love fiercely and NEVER, EVER give up. 

And maybe. Just maybe... 

He chose ME anyway. 

Because He believes despite my imperfections... 

I'm just the right mom for the job."

I am a mom who loves spending time with her children. Who loves learning alongside them. Who makes mistakes and asks for forgiveness. Who sets boundaries and extends grace. Who loves reading books to her kids and who really wishes they would stay.in.their.bed at bedtime. Who would rather be exploring new places with her kids than almost anything else. Who is stealing hundreds and hundreds of hours with her children and hoping that she's doing a good job and giving them a good childhood and a steady foundation to grow. 

I am not a perfect mother - but I love these children and am so grateful for the minutes, hours, days, and years that I get to spend as their mom. 

Mother's Day

"We are a part of a divine plan designed by Heavenly Parents who love us"

-M. Russell Ballard (When Thou Art Converted, DB. 2001)

"The doctrine of a Heavenly Mother is a cherished and distinctive belief among Latter-day Saints." Gospel Topics Essay on Mother in Heaven

This Mother's Day, I think it's only appropriate to express how much I have loved learning about and connecting with my Heavenly Mother over the past year (past few years, but especially this past year). I listened to a beautiful podcast celebrating our Heavenly Mother and her role right next to our Heavenly Father and it was such a tender way to celebrate my own motherhood. I am grateful for the love and strength I have felt from my effort to connect with her in this challenging role of motherhood.

Some photos of Heavenly Mother that have touched my heart:

Some highlights from our Mother's Day Celebrations this year: 

-With the help of my friends, we donated $120 to the refugee Mamas in our community. The organization Utah Refugee Connection (@justserve) holds an annual Mother's Day fundraiser and it's been such a blessing to be able to contribute in a small way each May. This year they honored over 500 Refugee Mothers with the fundraiser. 

-Lydia made a lovely flower pot at her Primary Activity to give to me as a gift. 

-David watched the kids so I could go to the Opera with my dear friend Tami. 

The day of was filled with expressions of love from each of my kids. They each decided that they wanted to make some kind of food for me. It made me laugh, but then also I loved that their chosen expressions of love were a reflection of the service that I offer to them each day. Austin made me pancakes in bed. Lydia made me a fruit salad for lunch. Caleb made me jello to go with the delicious dinner David prepared for me. I definitely felt their love and I'm grateful for that. 

We also were able to take flowers and decorate the driveway of our beloved Robin who lives across the street. She doesn't have any children of her own, but her kindness and goodness bless the lives of our children each day. The Farnsley-Becker driveway is unarguably the favorite spot on the street for all the kids to hang out. I often worry that we are bothering them, but Robin is always assuring me that she loves that the kids play on her driveway. We made her a note "Thank you for letting us play on your driveway" and delivered flowers and it was probably my favorite part of the day. 

I didn't get any pictures but we also went and visited Sue and it was lovely. It was our first time inside the Peaden Home since Christmas (and then only because we had quarantined). There is a lot of controversy over masks and vaccines and you name it. But I'm SO grateful for the ability to safely go back inside their home and spend time with them. We are blessed with wonderful mothers. 

 Also, because my kids aren't going to school or even attending primary - I asked David if he would help the kids fill these little "About my Mom" packets. Kind of silly, but I love them. 

 By: Lydia

My Mom's Name is: Shantel

Her favorite color is: Yellow

Her favorite food is: alfredo pasta

My mom loves when I: snuggle her

My favorite thing is: she is a great snuggler

By: Austin

My Mom's Name is:Shantel

Her favorite color is: Yellow

Her favorite food is: Cereal/Alfredo Pasta

My mom loves when I: Clean up.

My favorite thing is: That she loves me and that she always gives me a snuggle when I am hurt.

By: Caleb

My Mom's Name is: Shantel (PIP - he wrote that by himself)

Her favorite color is: Yellow

Her favorite food is: Oranges

My mom loves when I: make sunflowers grow

My favorite thing is: that she snuggles me

By: Lucy

My Mom's Name is:"Maam"

Her favorite color is: Yellow

Her favorite food is: Fried Egg Avocado toast/pANDa express

My mom loves when I: smile

I'm grateful to be a mother. Grateful to have David by my side as we figure it out. I am so far from the mother that I want to be, that my kids deserve, but I hope that if nothing else they will always know that I love them. That I'm trying. 

Gospel Topics Essay on Heavenly Mother

Mother in Heaven

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints teaches that all human beings, male and female, are beloved spirit children of heavenly parents, a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother. This understanding is rooted in scriptural and prophetic teachings about the nature of God, our relationship to Deity, and the godly potential of men and women.¹ The doctrine of a Heavenly Mother is a cherished and distinctive belief among Latter-day Saints.²

While there is no record of a formal revelation to Joseph Smith on this doctrine, some early Latter-day Saint women recalled that he personally taught them about a Mother in Heaven.³ The earliest published references to the doctrine appeared shortly after Joseph Smith’s death in 1844, in documents written by his close associates.⁴ The most notable expression of the idea is found in a poem by Eliza R. Snow, entitled “My Father in Heaven” and now known as the hymn “O My Father.” This text declares: “In the heav’ns are parents single? / No, the thought makes reason stare; / Truth is reason—truth eternal / Tells me I’ve a mother there.”⁵

Subsequent Church leaders have affirmed the existence of a Mother in Heaven. In 1909, the First Presidency taught that “all men and women are in the similitude of the universal Father and Mother, and are literally the sons and daughters of Deity.”⁶ Susa Young Gates, a prominent leader in the Church, wrote in 1920 that Joseph Smith’s visions and teachings revealed the truth that “the divine Mother, [is] side by side with the divine Father.”⁷ And in “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” issued in 1995, the First Presidency and Quorum of the Twelve Apostles declared, “Each [person] is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.”⁸

Prophets have taught that our heavenly parents work together for the salvation of the human family. “We are part of a divine plan designed by Heavenly Parents who love us,” taught Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles.⁹ President Harold B. Lee stated, “We forget that we have a Heavenly Father and a Heavenly Mother who are even more concerned, probably, than our earthly father and mother, and that influences from beyond are constantly working to try to help us when we do all we can.”¹⁰

Latter-day Saints direct their worship to Heavenly Father, in the name of Christ, and do not pray to Heavenly Mother. In this, they follow the pattern set by Jesus Christ, who taught His disciples to “always pray unto the Father in my name.”¹¹ Latter-day Saints are taught to pray to Heavenly Father, but as President Gordon B. Hinckley said, “The fact that we do not pray to our Mother in Heaven in no way belittles or denigrates her.”¹² Indeed, as Elder Rudger Clawson wrote, “We honor woman when we acknowledge Godhood in her eternal Prototype.”¹³

As with many other truths of the gospel, our present knowledge about a Mother in Heaven is limited. Nevertheless, we have been given sufficient knowledge to appreciate the sacredness of this doctrine and to comprehend the divine pattern established for us as children of heavenly parents. Latter-day Saints believe that this pattern is reflected in Paul’s statement that “neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.”¹⁴ Men and women cannot be exalted without each other. Just as we have a Father in Heaven, we have a Mother in Heaven. As Elder Dallin H. Oaks of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles has said, “Our theology begins with heavenly parents. Our highest aspiration is to be like them.”¹⁵

1.

Genesis 1:26–27; Moses 3:4–7; Romans 8:16–17; Psalm 82:6; Doctrine and Covenants 132:19–20.

2.

See “Becoming Like God”; see also Elaine Anderson Cannon, “Mother in Heaven,” in Encyclopedia of Mormonism, ed. Daniel H. Ludlow, 5 vols. (New York: Macmillan, 1992), 2:961. For an extensive survey of these teachings, see David L. Paulsen and Martin Pulido, “‘A Mother There’: A Survey of Historical Teachings about Mother in Heaven,” BYU Studies 50, no. 1 (2011): 70–97.

3.

Zina Diantha Huntington Young recalled that when her mother died in 1839, Joseph Smith consoled her by telling her that in heaven she would see her own mother again and become acquainted with her eternal Mother. (Susa Young Gates, History of the Young Ladies’ Mutual Improvement Association of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints [Salt Lake City: Deseret News, 1911], 15–16.)

4.

See W. W. Phelps, “Come to Me,” in “Poetry, for the Times and Seasons,” Times and Seasons 6 (Jan. 15, 1845): 783.

5.

“My Father in Heaven,” in “Poetry, for the Times and Seasons,” Times and Seasons 6 (Nov. 15, 1845): 1039; “O My Father,” Hymns, no. 292; see also Jill Mulvay Derr, “The Significance of ‘O My Father’ in the Personal Journey of Eliza R. Snow,” BYU Studies 36, no. 1 (1996–97), 84–126.

6.

“The Origin of Man,” Improvement Era 13, no. 1 (Nov. 1909): 78.

7.

“The Vision Beautiful,” Improvement Era 23, no. 6 (Apr. 1920): 542. At this time, Gates was the recording secretary of the Relief Society general presidency.

8.

“The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign or Liahona, May 2017, 145.

9.

M. Russell Ballard, When Thou Art Converted: Continuing Our Search for Happiness (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book, 2001), 62.

10.

Harold B. Lee, “The Influence and Responsibility of Women,” Relief Society Magazine 51, no. 2 (Feb. 1964): 85.

11.

3 Nephi 18:19–21; Matthew 6:6–9; John 17:1, 5, 21, 24–25; see also Matthew 4:10; Luke 4:8; and 3 Nephi 13:9; 17:15.

12.

Gordon B. Hinckley, “Daughters of God,” Ensign, Nov. 1991, 100.

13.

“Our Mother in Heaven,” Latter-day Saints’ Millennial Star 72, no. 39 (Sept. 29, 1910): 620. Rudger Clawson was the editor of the periodical and likely author of this editorial.

14.

1 Corinthians 11:11.

15.

Dallin H. Oaks, “Apostasy and Restoration,” Ensign, May 1995, 84.

Mother's Day 2018

Mother's Day.


I know that some people do not love Mother's Day. But... I love Mother's Day.

I love my mother and I am grateful for her influence on my life - both as a child and as an adult. I treasure and respect her opinion on so many things and talking to her is often just the thing I need to help clear my head. I always laugh when I think of the way most of our phone calls in college started. "Mom, hypothetically... if I were trying to __________, how would I do that?" She'd always laugh and talk me through exactly what I needed to do to accomplish whatever task I was trying to do - from making Cheesy Potato Soup to setting up my own dentist appointment. The feeling of my mom holding me and rocking me while stroking my hair is still a comfort to me. I have very clear memories of being too big for her to really hold me in a rocking chair, but her doing it anyway and holding me while I cried. And even as an adult there have been times where I've laid next to her on the couch and had her lovingly comfort me like I'm five years old again. I treasure her as a mother even more every single day of my own journey of motherhood, and frequently want to call her just to say thank you and that I love her. "Hi Mom, Lydia just told me I am the worst mom ever, and I am sure I said something equal to that when I was young, but I didn't mean it because you're the best mom ever and I love you." Or "Hey Mama, I just cleaned up a whole crib full of poop and I just want you to know that I'm grateful for every day that you did this for me." You know, things like that.

I also love, and am so grateful for my Mother in Law. Sue is so kind, loving, nurturing, giving, and good. She has welcomed me with open arms and has been more than I could have ever hoped to have as the mother of my husband. She is my friend and a wonderful example, full of love and good advice. I'm so grateful for the way she raised my David, and all the time, effort, and love she put in to making him who he is today. We share a love of sewing (or at least a skill of sewing and a love for serving other people) and we've made some amazing things together: baby blankets, minky quilts, baby bibs, and a baptism dress. Spending that time with her has been a blessing to me in so many ways.

Both of our moms are such loving grandmothers and our children are so lucky to have them in their lives. We've had such legacies of wonderful, amazing, courageous, loving women in our families and I treasure this day where I get to celebrate them and all they've done, and celebrate my place among them. 



David was a rock-star and he worked hard to make the day special for me. I wasn't particularly anxious about it and was just happy to be a mom and celebrate the little family that I have - but he let me sleep in, had the kids help bring me breakfast in bed, (which breakfast said kids also helped to eat), gave me some time to really study my scriptures, and then taught sharing time for me so I could go to Relief Society.

One of my favorite things that our ward does is that the EQ volunteers in the Primary so all of the sisters can attend RS together. There is just something powerful about having a whole Primary Room filled with men. It's a lot of work, a lot of work, to organize it all - but it's always worth it. This year the EQ presidency was pretty new, so I found people to replace the singing time leaders but was just going to teach sharing time myself - but David said that he would do it. We taught together during the 2nd hour and then he did it by himself during the 3rd hour. It was such a kind thing for him to do. RS was amazing and I'm so glad that I didn't miss it. I'm so grateful for a husband who is kind and good and shows me he loves me every day.



Another thought that I've had these last couple of weeks. I follow an organization on Facebook called the Utah Refugee Connections. At the beginning of school we helped put some back to school kits together, and for mothers day they were asking for more donations for some Mother's Day kits. They were asking for garbage cans/garbage bags and white towels. I posted on my neighborhood page asking if anyone would be interested in helping me put together kits and went to bed. When I woke up in the morning I had almost $100 in my Venmo account from people donating. It was amazing. Wendy got her neighborhood together, too, and in the end we were able to drop off 16 garbage cans and 8 towel kits!  You know, Mother's Day usually means chocolate and sleeping in, but this year I am grateful to be able to help these moms who need washcloths and garbage bags. I hope that I can always remember the blessings that I have and remember to reach out to those whose lives I can help bless, too. (Lydia was in school when we went to drop them off - but Austin was such a great helper.)



I wanted to write about this, too - and this seems like a good spot to do it. Last week the Stake Relief Society put on an activity with wonderful speakers and a service project. They were sewing kits for Days for Girls, an organization that makes feminine hygiene products for girls who otherwise wouldn't be able to attend school during their menstrual cycle. They showed a powerful video at the beginning that just tears at my heart even thinking about it. Because, do you know what you do when you don't have feminine hygiene products during your period? You sit over a cardboard box in your room until you're allowed to come out again, or worse. This. breaks. my. heart. I was only able to work in the service area for a little while, so at the end I came back and asked if I could bring any parts of the kits home to help finish sewing them. The Stake RS President was so grateful and sent me home with a giant stack of fabric to sew into bags. I wasn't expecting quite so much when I offered and she said that I could just do what I could do in one week and bring back the rest, but I quickly resolved that I would finish all of the bags. So, I spent hours and hours, here and there throughout the week working hard to sew together these bags. I was able to finish all of them, and ended up with 48 of them. It seems like SO many, but SO few at the same time.

I am grateful for my menstrual cycle and for the blessing of motherhood that it has brought to me. I am grateful for a mother who taught me well and raised me to view my body in a positive and faith-filled way. I'm grateful for the many times as a youth that I was able to stand and declare that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and that I have a divine nature. I hope I can teach all of my children this. And I'm grateful to have been able to serve in a small way - and hope to be able to be involved even more in the future.


And with that, a very happy Mother's Day to you.

Mother's Day 2017

"Gentle words I hear you say.

Your kind hands help me each day.

You're my mother kind and true;

Dearest mother, I love you."

Lydia sang this song with the Primary during Sacrament Meeting today and it was so sweet. David wanted her to be able to sing the words really well so he's been working with her this month to get them all memorized and we've sung it almost every night during "Scripture, Song, Prayer" for the past several weeks. Both she and Austin sing it throughout the day (sometimes changing the words to be silly) and I've really tried to take the words to heart. I don't know that I am always deserving of such high praise, but I certainly know that I want my words to be gentle and my hands to be kind. Each time my children have sung this song to me (so so so sweetly) I've become even more determined to be a kind, gentle, and loving mother.

I've been blessed with wonderful mothers and grandmothers who have loved and taught me throughout my life. I've also been blessed with a wonderful husband and children who made today so special and full of love. Sleeping in, sweet little gifts, breakfast and dinner (and dishes) done for me, lots of hugs and renditions of the above song. 

I've been feeling incredibly grateful lately for the blessing of being a mother. It pushes and stretches me, and sometimes I feel like I'm failing completely. I hope that I am learning Christlike attributes of faith, patience, leadership, service, sacrifice, hard work and charity. 

Also, today the Elders Quorums arranged to take over Primary so that all of the Sisters could attend Relief Society. It was so nice to be able to attend Relief Society (the Bishop gave a beautiful lesson about knowing and loving Christ). I'm feeling blessed to be in a ward where everyone loves and supports each other. 

Elder Holland once said "The work of a mother is hard and too often unheralded work. Do the best you can through these years, but whatever else you do, cherish that role that is so uniquely yours and for which heaven itself sends angels to watch over you and your little ones."

I love this. I love being a mother. I love having the opportunity to remind myself of the importance of the work I'm doing. And I'm grateful for a husband who always shows his gratitude for me and even so, he makes sure to do so a little extra on this special day.

Also, a note from Lydia about me, her mom - from Preschool. 

I call my mom: Mom. 

My mom cooks the best: Pizza. 

She is great at: Helps me sort the laundry :) 

My mom always says: "It's time to go to preschool!" 

I love it when she: Helps me. 

My mom and I like to: Go on an ice skating date. 

I love my mom because: She makes me what I want for breakfast.

Accompanied by a picture of her and I (with belly buttons - my favorite) on an ice skating date.