Austin Scott: 3-4 Months

As I was getting ready to write this post, David said "Just put a picture of Austin on and write, 'We didn't sleep this month - so this is the best blog post you get.'"

There is more truth to that sentence than I'd like to admit. Our sleep schedule has been pretty... poor. I'd say that our biggest accomplishment of this month is that we all survived. (Terrible, I know. Austin - when you grow up and read this post, just know that I love you more than you can even possibly imagine. If I come across as complain-y, I'm sorry. I wouldn't trade long nights-and days-of holding you for a million hours of sleep without you in my life.) 

Stats: 

13 lbs-(5th percentile). Size 1 diapers are a little small and size 2 diapers are a bit big. Still in size 0-3 months clothes, but they are starting to get a little small-ish. 

--We celebrated Austin's first Christmas. Which was wonderful. 

--Austin laughed for the first time and we caught it on camera. I love it, especially because he hasn't really belly laughed since. He was watching his Aunt Jenna as she was making a bed and when she flipped the sheet up into the air to cover the bed he started giggling. She kept doing it and he kept laughing. Thanks to Kevin for pulling out his phone and capturing the sweet moment on camera. 

--In direct contrast to his laughing, he has the saddest sad face. 

--He kicks his legs when he's happy or when he's upset. The more extreme the emotion, the harder he kicks his legs.

--He has the biggest wide mouth smile, but its super elusive and hard to catch on camera.

--This last month has been full of stress about Austin's weight. In a nutshell: Austin has been dropping in his percentiles, we were worried, I'm taking every supplement I hear about, I don't like my pediatrician and don't have much confidence in him, Austin seems fine so we are just going to watch him. 

The long story: At 3 months we went in for a weight check and Austin had dropped in weight again to the 6th percentile (from the 13th at 2 months). The nurses made it sound like a big deal, people I talked to about it made it sound like it was a big deal, the internet said it was a big deal. So I started supplementing and trying to increase my milk supply in an effort to make sure he was getting enough to eat. I was in contact with my pediatricians office and they said that rather than have us come in for a separate appointment, the pediatrician recommended coming in for our four month appointment early. We made our appointment 10 days early, but when we got to the office - the doctor basically had no idea what was going on. (We've had such a struggle to find a pediatrician that we like, that seems like they actually know/care about us.) I had to tell him that we were there early because there was a concern about his weight. Without even examining Austin, and after only a tiny glance at his chart, he said "He's probably fine." Argh. I mean, I was hoping that we'd go to the appointment and they'd ask me questions about his output, look at all of his vitals, then tell me that he looks fine - just a little small, and that sometimes babies just grow a little bit differently and it's not something to worry about. But the nurses seemed so stressed about it, then the doctor didn't ask me any questions about Austin, basically just told me that if I was worried I could start taking an herb to increase milk supply (fenugreek, which I was already taking). He said that maybe that's why we had leveled out his growth chart; he was 12 lbs (6%) at the 3 month-ish weight check and was 12lbs 9.5oz (also 6%) at 10 days before 4 months.  He didn't even mention supplementing with formula or starting to give him solids but he had us schedule another weight check to make sure that Austin kept growing, and said that he should gain about 8 oz in the next two weeks. Fast forward to the weight check when I realized that the numbers on the paper reflected that the doctor only put that Austin needed to grow 2 oz, even though the nurse said that he should be gaining about an ounce a day (not an ounce a week!). He weighed 13 lbs, which was not the 8 oz we thought he was supposed to gain and puts him in the 5th percentile. So he didn't drop a lot, but he did drop. I asked the nurse to go and ask the doctor, even though according to what he wrote on the chart Austin was fine. He basically said he'd check up on Austin at 6 months. I'm frustrated with my pediatricians inability to communicate with me and that we have been so worried and have such little resolution. However, Austin seems okay and has several wet diapers and at least one poopy diaper a day, so I'm choosing not to worry about it. I'm also going to see a lactation consultant, in hopes that they can give me more detailed guidance about what I should be expecting.

--He loves playing peekaboo. Sometimes that is the only thing that will stop him from fussing. I'll put a blanket over his face and pull it off and he'll grin (and kick his legs). Occasionally I will catch Lydia coming up to him on the couch and playing peekaboo with him. Melt my heart.

--He's not rolling yet. In all honesty, he's not even showing any interest in rolling. (Aside from one day when he was trying to roll up onto his side, which made me think it was close but then he hasn't shown any interest after that.) He doesn't love laying on the ground which makes tummy time hard - and makes laying on his back hard. (It also makes for some long days of holding him.) I know that all babies develop differently, so I'm not worried - but I am excited for him to learn.

--Sleep. Or lack thereof. We were in a fairly decent routine, but then something must have happened because we regressed and have been sleeping worse than ever before - even as a tiny newborn. I feel slightly reassured after reading about Lydia's 4 month post when I wrote "But now I feel as though everything is just out of control." Because that's pretty much how I feel right now. We went from waking up 3-4 times a night, to waking up every two hours, then every 90 minutes, then every hour. I still get a pretty good stretch from 7-10:30-ish. But then it's 11:30, 12:30, 2, 3:30, 4:30, and up for an hour sometime between 4 and 6 before falling back asleep until about 8... I'd be happy to just sleep with him in the chair but he gets uncomfortable a while and it wakes him up, but if I try to put him in his bed 75% of the time he'll wake up again before I even fall asleep in my own bed. It's been so exhausting. David has been really helping out with the hour-long awake-awake stage around 4 or 5, it's such a blessing. But we are all starting to get desperate. I've taken to trolling the internet looking for magic baby sleep tools. We ordered a Zipadeezip, but it was too big and didn't help - so I ordered a Woombie but it hasn't gotten here yet. Seriously, one morning at 4 a.m. I was paying for and downloading a "Baby Shusher" app to the iPad in hopes that it would soothe my baby to sleep. And it's not just at night. Our naps are dwindling too. He used to take a good nap in the morning, but now I'm lucky if I get a few half-hour naps during the day, and one in the evening.  This last week (technically after I should have written this post) we went to Idaho Falls to visit Jenna, and he slept better than he's slept in a month! I told Jenna we were moving in. But I'm hoping that we hit a turning point and that our sleep will get better from here on out.

--He is SO SO SO drooly. No teeth, from what I can tell, but SO drooly.

--Austin was blessed soon after he turned 3 months. It was a wonderful day and I love that the blessing David gave to him will follow him and be his to draw on for the rest of his life. 

--He likes to stand with his little legs straight out and stiff as a board. When I carry him in my Beco (which I love), he stretches his legs out so straight that they wiggle under the waist strap no matter how tight I cinch it. He's strong and stiff and just likes to be straight, straight, straight. 

--I remember with Lydia always feeling like she was so big. Every month I wrote about how big she was getting. But with Austin I just feel like he is still so small.  Part of that has to do with how small he actually is - I mean the 5th percentile is small! But also, I think I know how big he is going to get - and so I'm able to just see him for how little he really is and just try to soak up his tiny-ness. He's got this tiny little double chin, and these tiny little rolls on his legs. Everything is just so small and so sweet.

-I mentioned above, we don't love tummy time. But we are working on it. We love this little giraffe toy that he got for Christmas - and it makes tummy time manageable. (I've also been using mirrors and other little toys, which is fun.)

-He pulls his shoulders off the floor like he's trying to do a sit-up all. the. time.

--He loves to be swaddled! He's happiest wrapped up snug and cozy in a blanket even when we are just hanging out and he definitely can't sleep unless he is swaddled. He's strong and he wiggles his arms out - but then he fusses until you wrap him up tightly again. It's so interesting how different babies are and how they just like what they like.

-Lydia still loves him so much. She still "hugs" him by laying her whole body on top of him, but he's getting big enough that I don't worry about it as much. (I still tell her to be gentle and not put her whole weight on him.) But he's big enough that it doesn't really bother him -he's tough.  Much of the time it makes him smile - he likes the attention.

-My boys. I love them. 

Happy 4 months Austin, we love you!

Friday

Disclaimer: I already wrote this post. Then it was deleted. Remember in college when you accidentally deleted the entire paragraph/page/paper that you'd been working on and you cried, because you had written it so well, and then you had to rewrite said paragraph/page/paper over. Remember how it never was as good as the first time that you wrote it? Yeah. This is like that. 

Here are some things that we've been up to lately. It was going to be a Top 5, but not all of them are "top" and turns out that there are more than 5. So. 

1- David has started into his busy season at work for the year. I'm actually really excited because I think he's going to be able to work out his schedule so that half of the days he'll leave early but get home before the kids have to go to bed and then the other half of the days he'll go in late so he can play with them in the morning and then just work really late. I think it's going to work out well. However, we've been spoiled by being able to see him before and after work, and Lydia has really been missing him in the mornings. Several times he's said goodnight to her when putting her down for the night and he's told her that he would leave her a note for her to find when she wakes up. She loves it, and always looks at every piece of paper on her way downstairs as she's looking for her "message from Daddy". One afternoon she was at her little table coloring with some markers and she started saying "Dear Daddy, please come home. Dear Dad. I miss you. Dear Daddy, please come home from work." It was so sad and so sweet at the same time. She loves him! (And he's such a wonderful father.) 

2- My Grandma Walker hasn't been doing super well lately, and when my dad called to tell me that she was in the U of U hospital, we drove up to visit with her. It is so hard to see her in so much pain, but I only hope that she knows that she is loved. (And my grandpa, too.) She loves my sweet babies so much, it touches my heart to see how much they mean to her. 

3- We are potty trained! It's so awesome. I think Lydia's been "almost" ready for a long time, but I was too scared to make the final push and just be done with it all. She's been going pee and poop on the potty for months, so when we talked about how we were going to start wearing underwear instead of diapers from now on - she was totally on board. We spent the first couple of days hanging out in the kitchen (easy-to-clean-floor). We built a fort, colored, painted, and played with beans. I shouldn't have worried - she did great. Only two accidents (after we had added pants) and she's pretty much completely good. I've still put her in pullups for her naps and diapers at bedtime, but almost always they are dry. We've even started going to stores/Target in underwear and she does great. She saw a giant Panda at Walmart that she has decided that she wants to buy with her "money from her bank" (we've been paying her; penny=pee quarter=poop). She's so excited. I think we'll go tomorrow, as she's been dry for almost a week now. Yay!

4- This sweet boy turned 4 months last week. We've been in for a couple of weight checks and he seems to be dropping in his weight percentiles more than they like to see. We've been working to make sure that he's getting enough to eat - mostly, I've been supplementing with all sorts of crazy things to help my milk supply. (That's a possible cause for him not gaining enough weight.) I posted on our facebook page asking if anyone had any brewers yeast I could borrow to make some lactation cookies and a bunch of people posted and let me have samples of the things that worked for them. Everything from fennel oil and mother's milk tea to a Moringa Oleifera blend supplement. I'm grateful to live in such a great neighborhood and hope that this little boy starts packing on the pounds. 

5- Gas prices have been so awesome lately! At the very beginning of January we filled up at Sams Club for $1.83 and pretty much thought we were in heaven. It's been taking over $40 to fill my tank of gas for years, but we filled up for under twenty.  I don't remember gas prices being this low since I first learned to drive! Since then, prices have dropped even lower. I saw gas for $1.74, then waited a day and filled up for $1.69. Then when I was in Idaho (see story about Idaho below), I filled up for my return trip at $1.62! Seriously. Awesome. 

6- David had a business trip in Oregon this week, so Lydia, Austin, and I drove to Idaho Falls and spent the week with Jenna and Camille (and Kevin, of course). We loved it so much! I love my sister and had such a good time spending the week with her. Austin loves Jenna so much. He was constantly smiling for her, and he giggled for her again! She's definitely a favorite of his. Lydia and Camille had so much fun laughing with each other, and I loved going to Target and shopping the clearance with Jenna. We definitely love those guys and are already planning a return trip this summer. 

Happy Friday!

But then...

Last night I finished a fun post full of a few things that have been going on lately (i.e. Lydia potty training, notes/messages between David and Lydia, nursing Austin, gas prices, etc....)

But then - when I tried to publish the post it wouldn't load. So I copied the post, refreshed the page, and pasted the post back into my draft box.

But then - nothing pasted. The entire post was lost! I'm seriously so sad about it. So tonight I was going to sit down and rewrite the post,

But then - I realized I was too tired. So instead you get this sad excuse for a blog post.

The end.


(Maybe if I can really get my act in gear, I'll get a summary of that post AND Austin's 4 month post on the blog before January is over.)

2015

January is flying by and I'm finally finishing my first post of the year. I feel like it took the first couple of weeks just to get back into our routine after the holidays. Plus I've been spending every spare second that I'm not holding Austin or playing with Lydia working on stuff for Primary. (The big switch at the beginning of the year is brutal! I think that I will forever make a big batch of cookies and take it around to the Primary Presidency every January.) Blogging has kind of gotten pushed to the background. It may have taken me a bit to get this post written but here it is.

Last year our family goals were:
1- Have a monthly family goal that we write on the calendar. Focus on that goal.
2- Go to the temple every month. No excuses.
3- Do something social at least every other month. Focus on inviting members of the ward into our home as a way to begin/sustain friendships and to reach out to others.
4- Family prayer every morning. (To go along with our Scripture/Song/Prayer at night.)

And my personal goals were:
1- Be more aware of what I'm saying to others and about others.
2- Read my scriptures in the morning instead of putting it off until night.
3- Put a priority on visiting teaching, temple attendance, and cheerfully fulfilling my calling.
4- Dedicate time for both David and Lydia that is distraction free. Make sure they know they are most important.

(I can't find David's goals, even though I thought that he blogged them in a separate post.) 

We did really well with some of our goals, and not as well with others. But I feel like we grew a lot, both personally and as a family this last year and I'm glad for the things that we chose to focus on. 

This year I don't have a list of goals to write. There are a lot of things that I'd like to improve on, but making a list of goals of things I want to do doesn't really resonate with me this year. I was talking to a friend and she shared a short statement about who she wants to be this next year and it really spoke to me. And so, this year I'm not going to focus on a list of things I want to do, I'm going to focus on who I want to be. 

I am patient and kind. I know that I am the most important person to my little family and I act accordingly.  I am steadfast in my beliefs and I reflect the light of Christ into all aspects of my life. I share my love and happiness. 

I hope to memorize this and infuse the rest of the year with the positive nature of who I want to be. 

We have a lot of things to look forward to: Austin's first year, Lydia's third birthday, a summer o'fun, all of of the wonderful mixed in. 2015 will be a great year. I know it will.