Austin Scott: 3-4 Months

As I was getting ready to write this post, David said "Just put a picture of Austin on and write, 'We didn't sleep this month - so this is the best blog post you get.'"

There is more truth to that sentence than I'd like to admit. Our sleep schedule has been pretty... poor. I'd say that our biggest accomplishment of this month is that we all survived. (Terrible, I know. Austin - when you grow up and read this post, just know that I love you more than you can even possibly imagine. If I come across as complain-y, I'm sorry. I wouldn't trade long nights-and days-of holding you for a million hours of sleep without you in my life.) 

Stats: 

13 lbs-(5th percentile). Size 1 diapers are a little small and size 2 diapers are a bit big. Still in size 0-3 months clothes, but they are starting to get a little small-ish. 

--We celebrated Austin's first Christmas. Which was wonderful. 

--Austin laughed for the first time and we caught it on camera. I love it, especially because he hasn't really belly laughed since. He was watching his Aunt Jenna as she was making a bed and when she flipped the sheet up into the air to cover the bed he started giggling. She kept doing it and he kept laughing. Thanks to Kevin for pulling out his phone and capturing the sweet moment on camera. 

--In direct contrast to his laughing, he has the saddest sad face. 

--He kicks his legs when he's happy or when he's upset. The more extreme the emotion, the harder he kicks his legs.

--He has the biggest wide mouth smile, but its super elusive and hard to catch on camera.

--This last month has been full of stress about Austin's weight. In a nutshell: Austin has been dropping in his percentiles, we were worried, I'm taking every supplement I hear about, I don't like my pediatrician and don't have much confidence in him, Austin seems fine so we are just going to watch him. 

The long story: At 3 months we went in for a weight check and Austin had dropped in weight again to the 6th percentile (from the 13th at 2 months). The nurses made it sound like a big deal, people I talked to about it made it sound like it was a big deal, the internet said it was a big deal. So I started supplementing and trying to increase my milk supply in an effort to make sure he was getting enough to eat. I was in contact with my pediatricians office and they said that rather than have us come in for a separate appointment, the pediatrician recommended coming in for our four month appointment early. We made our appointment 10 days early, but when we got to the office - the doctor basically had no idea what was going on. (We've had such a struggle to find a pediatrician that we like, that seems like they actually know/care about us.) I had to tell him that we were there early because there was a concern about his weight. Without even examining Austin, and after only a tiny glance at his chart, he said "He's probably fine." Argh. I mean, I was hoping that we'd go to the appointment and they'd ask me questions about his output, look at all of his vitals, then tell me that he looks fine - just a little small, and that sometimes babies just grow a little bit differently and it's not something to worry about. But the nurses seemed so stressed about it, then the doctor didn't ask me any questions about Austin, basically just told me that if I was worried I could start taking an herb to increase milk supply (fenugreek, which I was already taking). He said that maybe that's why we had leveled out his growth chart; he was 12 lbs (6%) at the 3 month-ish weight check and was 12lbs 9.5oz (also 6%) at 10 days before 4 months.  He didn't even mention supplementing with formula or starting to give him solids but he had us schedule another weight check to make sure that Austin kept growing, and said that he should gain about 8 oz in the next two weeks. Fast forward to the weight check when I realized that the numbers on the paper reflected that the doctor only put that Austin needed to grow 2 oz, even though the nurse said that he should be gaining about an ounce a day (not an ounce a week!). He weighed 13 lbs, which was not the 8 oz we thought he was supposed to gain and puts him in the 5th percentile. So he didn't drop a lot, but he did drop. I asked the nurse to go and ask the doctor, even though according to what he wrote on the chart Austin was fine. He basically said he'd check up on Austin at 6 months. I'm frustrated with my pediatricians inability to communicate with me and that we have been so worried and have such little resolution. However, Austin seems okay and has several wet diapers and at least one poopy diaper a day, so I'm choosing not to worry about it. I'm also going to see a lactation consultant, in hopes that they can give me more detailed guidance about what I should be expecting.

--He loves playing peekaboo. Sometimes that is the only thing that will stop him from fussing. I'll put a blanket over his face and pull it off and he'll grin (and kick his legs). Occasionally I will catch Lydia coming up to him on the couch and playing peekaboo with him. Melt my heart.

--He's not rolling yet. In all honesty, he's not even showing any interest in rolling. (Aside from one day when he was trying to roll up onto his side, which made me think it was close but then he hasn't shown any interest after that.) He doesn't love laying on the ground which makes tummy time hard - and makes laying on his back hard. (It also makes for some long days of holding him.) I know that all babies develop differently, so I'm not worried - but I am excited for him to learn.

--Sleep. Or lack thereof. We were in a fairly decent routine, but then something must have happened because we regressed and have been sleeping worse than ever before - even as a tiny newborn. I feel slightly reassured after reading about Lydia's 4 month post when I wrote "But now I feel as though everything is just out of control." Because that's pretty much how I feel right now. We went from waking up 3-4 times a night, to waking up every two hours, then every 90 minutes, then every hour. I still get a pretty good stretch from 7-10:30-ish. But then it's 11:30, 12:30, 2, 3:30, 4:30, and up for an hour sometime between 4 and 6 before falling back asleep until about 8... I'd be happy to just sleep with him in the chair but he gets uncomfortable a while and it wakes him up, but if I try to put him in his bed 75% of the time he'll wake up again before I even fall asleep in my own bed. It's been so exhausting. David has been really helping out with the hour-long awake-awake stage around 4 or 5, it's such a blessing. But we are all starting to get desperate. I've taken to trolling the internet looking for magic baby sleep tools. We ordered a Zipadeezip, but it was too big and didn't help - so I ordered a Woombie but it hasn't gotten here yet. Seriously, one morning at 4 a.m. I was paying for and downloading a "Baby Shusher" app to the iPad in hopes that it would soothe my baby to sleep. And it's not just at night. Our naps are dwindling too. He used to take a good nap in the morning, but now I'm lucky if I get a few half-hour naps during the day, and one in the evening.  This last week (technically after I should have written this post) we went to Idaho Falls to visit Jenna, and he slept better than he's slept in a month! I told Jenna we were moving in. But I'm hoping that we hit a turning point and that our sleep will get better from here on out.

--He is SO SO SO drooly. No teeth, from what I can tell, but SO drooly.

--Austin was blessed soon after he turned 3 months. It was a wonderful day and I love that the blessing David gave to him will follow him and be his to draw on for the rest of his life. 

--He likes to stand with his little legs straight out and stiff as a board. When I carry him in my Beco (which I love), he stretches his legs out so straight that they wiggle under the waist strap no matter how tight I cinch it. He's strong and stiff and just likes to be straight, straight, straight. 

--I remember with Lydia always feeling like she was so big. Every month I wrote about how big she was getting. But with Austin I just feel like he is still so small.  Part of that has to do with how small he actually is - I mean the 5th percentile is small! But also, I think I know how big he is going to get - and so I'm able to just see him for how little he really is and just try to soak up his tiny-ness. He's got this tiny little double chin, and these tiny little rolls on his legs. Everything is just so small and so sweet.

-I mentioned above, we don't love tummy time. But we are working on it. We love this little giraffe toy that he got for Christmas - and it makes tummy time manageable. (I've also been using mirrors and other little toys, which is fun.)

-He pulls his shoulders off the floor like he's trying to do a sit-up all. the. time.

--He loves to be swaddled! He's happiest wrapped up snug and cozy in a blanket even when we are just hanging out and he definitely can't sleep unless he is swaddled. He's strong and he wiggles his arms out - but then he fusses until you wrap him up tightly again. It's so interesting how different babies are and how they just like what they like.

-Lydia still loves him so much. She still "hugs" him by laying her whole body on top of him, but he's getting big enough that I don't worry about it as much. (I still tell her to be gentle and not put her whole weight on him.) But he's big enough that it doesn't really bother him -he's tough.  Much of the time it makes him smile - he likes the attention.

-My boys. I love them. 

Happy 4 months Austin, we love you!