Baby Prep

We've been prepping for this baby and slowly we are working our way down the list! We've checked some major things off our list and we're feeling pretty good about it.

A name. We're pretty set on baby girls name at this point. After months of having baby names written up on our mirror, we've wiped them all off except one. After seeing our list in our bathroom, Lydia started her own list in her bathroom. Her list included: Elizabeth, Eliza, Ali, Ady, and Holly. Even so, she's pretty happy with the name Lucy. For a while she was pushing for Lousie Anna so we could call her Louisi-ana, and once I mentioned that my mom's middle name is Anne - she decided that Lucy Anne was acceptable to still be able to call her "Lou-see-ann-a". I wouldn't be surprised if Lucy-anna is one of baby girl's nicknames.

This blanket. *sigh*  It's got quite the story behind it - but the most important thing is... It's FINISHED! (Baby girl can officially come, now.) Sue has made a super-soft, minky baby blanket for each of my babies. Lydia's was a surprise, and since then I've loved going with her, picking out the fabric, and working to complete each blanket together. It's been a special way to bond with her, and with each new baby. These blankets are so special to my kids and they use them all the time. 

Sue's health isn't great right now, so I went to the fabric store and took pictures of dozens of different fabrics and combinations and then sat with her while we poured over the pictures picking out just the right fabrics and patterns. I went back and bought the fabric and we've been working on it ever since. We've been spending every other Tuesday afternoon with Sue since January and it's been so nice. Sue mostly sits in her bed offering her supervision and expertise, the kids play upstairs or in the family room, and we spend the afternoon chatting and working together. 

Here's the sad part of the story: we were just under halfway through this blanket when I decided to take it home to trim. I folded it and put it in my diaper bag to take home... and then the very next morning my entire diaper bag was stolen out of my car while it was parked in my garage. 

My purse/wallet, brand new water bottle, cash, gift cards, favorite diaper bag, AND this beautiful half-finished blanket. I cried for days, knowing that whoever took it just threw it in the garbage on the side of a road somewhere. I was more upset about the blanket than anything else! I asked David if he thought that they felt bad when they realized what they'd taken. His response? "No, I really don't." But I held on to the tiny hope that maybe they'd bring it back once they realized. *sigh*

I had to work through the stages of grief, including a very snarky stage regarding the whole thing (snarky meaning I talked about living in the ghetto and I made remarks like "Did you grab the diaper bag? Ohhhh... no- you didn't. Because we don't have one. Because it was stolen.")  After I worked through that all (and stopped crying whenever I thought about it) I went back, bought new fabric and we got to work making another blanket. We cut it pretty close, this has been one of the things that I really really wanted to finish before baby girl comes. When I went to work on it the very last day, Sue had finished the binding all by herself - stating that she wanted to do at least some of the actual work on the blanket. She loves her grandchildren and I'm so glad that Lucy will always have this reminder of her Grandma's love.  I treasure my time working with Sue on this project and hope that baby girl knows just how much love went into making it for her, from both of us. 

Bedroom Prep

We are moving baby girl into the corner of our bedroom and it's been a nice little project. Previously we had a big bookshelf full of... stuff... plus two white bins also full of... stuff. On top of one of those white bins were hundreds of papers that needed to be filed or shredded. David went through all of the stuff and all of the papers (he's a champion) and we removed the bookshelf. Austin has been a huge helper in shredding all of the old documents (including hundreds of old primary papers, too). The progress has been fairly slow-moving, but the corner is finally finished and I'm so happy! It's not super fancy and the only thing that I bought was an $8 print of a little name sign that I put together, but it looks so fresh and ready for a new baby. Plus, all of the baby clothes have been washed and put away in the drawers. I can hardly believe that pretty soon we will bring home a new little baby to sleep in this bed. I hope she loves it. Favorite things from this corner? -Blessing dress hanging on the wall. -Geometric pattern around her "Lucy Holland" sign. -Minky Baby Blanket draped over the pack and play cover I sewed.





Baby Swing
So here's the deal. We were given a baby swing when Lydia was a baby and we were SO grateful for it. But it was battery operated, and as time passed that started being more and more of a problem. Because batteries are expensive and swings use a lot of battery power! I think with Caleb I replaced the batteries one time, then used the swing as more of a holding place for him, sometimes asking Lydia or Austin to go and push him back and forth in the swing. The swing was getting old and the seat was a little lopsided, always ending up with the baby's head almost falling over the edge. And so after Caleb was big enough, I sold that swing on Facebook because I knew if I waited until our next baby I would just keep it instead of buying a new one like I'd wanted to do for so long. This time, we found a swing that plugs in and we are thrilled about it. Knowing that this is probably our last baby, we decided to just get the pink swing because it was the prettiest, and it really is SO pretty. And I'm just so happy that it plugs in. We bought it a while ago but didn't set it up because we didn't want it sitting in the way for three-months unnecessarily, but David built it one night last week, and now it's all set up and ready for baby girl!



Pre-Baby Dates
Last Saturday we got a babysitter (I love our neighborhood babysitting co-op!) and went out to the movies. We saw the new Aladdin and it was by far my very favorite of the Disney Live Action movies that they've been making lately. It was so well done and we had a nice time at our last official pre-baby date. David's note about this date: It was perfect. We LOVED the movie and thought it was so well done and so enjoyable. Plus we got a giant popcorn to share. It was so much fun and so nice.

Then, David was able to come with me to my 39-week appointment. Although he and my mom were both rooting for my doctor to just say "Oh, you're dilated to a 7, let's just send you to the hospital" - I wasn't and it was a simple "Okay, well - now you're just on watch! Come to the hospital when you start having contractions" and then we were out the door. It's a little crazy, because several weeks ago my doctor offered to induce me on the day of my 39-week appointment, and it seems a little surreal that we could have been in the hospital having a baby. (Making her birthday twins with Aunt Jenna AND her cousin Sadie). But I much prefer to let babies come on their own. We stopped for a little Carl's Junior breakfast to sneak in one last tiny date. (We did this after Caleb's 39 week appointment, too, and it's a fond memory.)

Baby Shower

My sweetest friend, Karli, offered to throw me a small baby shower/girls night with a few of my closest friends. I had previously turned down another friend's offer of throwing me a baby shower because I didn't really need much in the way of baby things and I don't particularly like being the center of attention. But this evening out was absolutely perfect. As I sat there surrounded by six of my very closest friends, I was overwhelmed with a feeling of love and support. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful women and to have their influence and examples in my life. It was low-key, we just chatted while we ate french fries and ice cream, and it was everything I could have hoped for in a celebration of this sweet girl's arrival. It's not often that you get to handpick a group to spend an evening with and it was such a wonderful night.

Last few details: 
Our hospital bags are packed and my mom came a few days ago so we are officially ready! I just feel so calm and confident. I feel like this is the most relaxed I've been (while still being excited, of course). It's so nice to have my mom here because I know that my kids will be taken care of no matter when baby girl decides to join us, whether it's in the middle of the night or in the afternoon, without having to stress about calling someone to come over. And especially without the pressure of having to decide "is this real labor or is this just pre-labor?" I'm not overly anxious for baby girl to come early, I'm content to just let her come whenever she is ready. But now I'm just sitting back and enjoying the time that we have right now to just be together as a family of five before things change again.

Baby Update - 35 Weeks.

I haven't been very good about blogging this pregnancy, even though I have been diligent at taking pictures and writing my "Dear Baby" letters. But I thought that 35 weeks was probably a good time to hop in and write about a few things that are on my mind. 

(Picture on left: 32 weeks. Picture on right: 35 weeks)

Pregnancy is amazing. It really is. I mean, it's crazy and uncomfortable and exhausting. But it's also incredible and beautiful and so so amazing. Although one can never be sure - we think that this is our last pregnancy and so I've been really soaking each stage in and have just been filled with so much gratitude that my body handles pregnancy so well and that I have the privilege of carrying this little girl until she is ready to come into the world. It's a special time, this time when it's just me and her. Pretty soon she'll be here and she will be surrounded by people that love her, but right now she makes me laugh when I lay in a position that's clearly uncomfortable to her and she lets me know. She makes me cry when I am filled with so much gratitude for her as I feel her stretching and moving.

We've decided on a name, we're pretty sure. I'm actually really non-committal with most things in life and have a hard time committing to something even one minute before I absolutely have to. But if I'm being honest, even though I've spent extensive time looking through baby name list, compiling my own lists, and talking about different names, from the very day we found out that she was a girl - I think I knew that her name was going to be Lucy Holland. That's the name that we first said when we got into the car after her ultrasound and it's basically stuck. I actually really wanted her name to be Holland. (I will go into all the reasons why Holland is such a meaningful name to me in a later post, but it's filled with so much hope and symbolism and love and I really pushed for a while to have that be her first name.) David always really liked Lucy and so for a while, those were our two top contenders. But even when I was pushing so hard for Holland, I think I knew that her name would end up being Lucy Holland. David later said that he's glad that I pushed so hard for that, because without that maybe we wouldn't have used Holland as a middle name but it really cemented her first and middle names. As soon as Caleb started calling her "Baby Oo-see", it pretty much sealed the deal. Even so, this is definitely the earliest that we've ever decided on a name and definitely the most open we've been about it with other people.

I've been really low on iron and have had a hard time keeping my hemoglobin levels high enough. I'm taking a supplement and trying to eat iron-rich foods (which looks mostly like iron-fortified foods because naturally iron-rich foods are super unappealing to me). My doctor almost sent me to the hospital for an iron IV, which I didn't even know that they did, but in the end they just upped my iron supplement. I hope that I can get and keep my iron levels up and that it doesn't interfere with my (or Baby Girl's) recovery.

I haven't had many cravings this pregnancy, mostly no food has sounded appetizing, even though it tastes fine when I'm eating it. But the other day David told me that I only had a couple more weeks of using pregnancy cravings as an excuse so if I wanted something I should tell him and he'd stop and get it for me. Even with that prompting, I couldn't think of anything to ask for! But I think I'll cash in when I'm nursing because I think my nursing cravings are more intense than pregnancy cravings! They are certainly just as hormonal and probably more desperate nutrition/calorie wise.

I asked David if he had anything to say about this pregnancy and he said "Just that we are excited for baby girl to come. You have done so much and carried yourself so well with very little complaint." That's nice of him to say, and I hope that it's true.

Just a little over a month until this sweet little sister arrives and we are so so excited!


Also, a fun note - my best friend Ashley Cooper and I are due just one day apart! We both find it highly amusing. I'm grateful for the support and friendship she always offers me. She said it best in a recent Instagram post: "Sometimes, you get to be pregnant with your best friend... for the third time! (We have babies three weeks apart and babies five weeks apart, but these ones are due only a day apart!) We’re currently 33 weeks along, and when my appointment today ended up with me being sent to the hospital for monitoring, Shantel was willing to take the kids for hours with almost no notice. Our schedules have reduced most of our communication to Marco Polo for months, and it was so good to visit with her in person again!"

We do communicate mostly through Marco Polo (video message app), but I love this friend so dearly and I'm grateful to be doing this pregnancy thing with her... again!

Baby Update

I'm just about ___ weeks along in this little pregnancy and although I've been much sicker than I had anticipated being, I also have been well taken care of. 

I mistakenly thought "I've gotten less sick with each progressive pregnancy - I'm sure the pattern will continue". I should know better. Pregnancy can't be put into things like... patterns! It likes being unpredictable. Ha. I was the sickest with my first pregnancy that ended in miscarriage, and so I was truly worried about that. But then I had a dream that I was having twins, so when we went to the appointment I was equally concerned that there wouldn't be a heartbeat and excited about the possibility of twins. I felt immense relief and gratitude when there was a heartbeat and a healthy baby, but was a little disappointed when Dr. Cloward said "Good news! There's just one baby." She was being funny, but I was a tiny bit disappointed. But, not too disappointed because BABY! You're on your way and we are SO so thrilled about it. 

Like I said, these kids have been taking care of me. I've been drinking a lot of orange juice, especially in the mornings because it's the only thing that will settle my stomach. Quite frequently, something will set me off and I'll be in the bathroom throwing up for a while - then I'll come back out and the kids will have made a little bed for me, blanket, pillow, and carefully poured cup of orange juice sitting there waiting for me. Lydia and Austin will carefully walk me to the couch/floor/bed and make sure that I am comfortable. It's so sweet. Sometimes I still feel sick, and just laying there really does help. Sometimes I feel better and would be fine just getting back to whatever I was doing before, but it's so sweet that they put in so much work that I always lay down for a minute. 

I know that I'm not nearly as sick as some people get during pregnancy- and I don't want this to be taken as complaining at all. Because honestly, I'm fine, and I manage most of my days with ease, regardless of the few bumps in the road that inevitably come. My kids are amazing and the play so well together, we've had hardly any tv time where they were watching a show just because I needed to rest. And we've been able to do our homeschooling-thang with little to no problem. 

But I have been throwing up, something that I didn't do at all with Caleb - and mostly only dry heaved with Austin. That's not fun. One day I told David that I'd learned to only eat the things that weren't terrible coming back up, not necessarily the things that sounded good at the time. I was prepared to start listing food items off before he stopped me. But it's true! (I'll refrain from listing them here.) 

One day the Hutchings Museum was having a neat animal show, so I decided to take the kids. I wasn't feeling great, but I figured that we'd be fine. The show was good and the kids loved it, but afterwards I was feeling SO awful that I sat down on the floor while they played with an exhibit. I sat there for a really long time, and ended up texting David telling him that I didn't think I would be able to get up and leave because I was feeling so terrible. I managed to get them out and into the car. And then, because I'm stubborn and hate hate hate leaving the house, I decided we'd run into Target for the two things that we needed. We HAD to get a birthday present for the next day, and we HAD to get wipes because we were almost all out. I could have sent David later that night, or gone out myself later - but I couldn't handle the thought of having to go out again when I was already out. But we barely made it. I thought if I grabbed something to eat it would help, but the jerky that I grabbed off the shelf made me even sicker. I was so sick I was hunched over the shopping cart pushing it along, and at one point I let Lydia browse the toy aisle while I sat on the floor because I was so nauseous. I almost didn't survive. David was working in Lehi, and I seriously considered asking him to come and get us and drive us home. And not in a kidding way, in a "I can't do this and I need help and I'm going to start crying at any moment" kind of way. But I'm stubborn. Whatever. We made it home and the biggest casualty was that I didn't let the kids buy anything because I didn't have the brain capacity to help them choose something to buy with their family economy money and they were really disappointed.

I know I've mostly just written about being sick. But truly, I've been so blessed. I've been able to keep up with all of my responsibilities (for the most part). Primary President is a demanding job, and this year I was also in charge of the Ward Christmas Party. (Umm... remind me to never do that again - and never let any other Primary President get roped into being in charge of it either.) It was a ton of work on top of everything else I'm already responsible for - but I feel like I was able to manage. Maybe not with ease, or even with grace, but I was able to do okay. And aside from those things, I'm doing well with my other things, too. Especially my children. I feel like I'm the best mom I've ever been, and that I'm steadily growing into the mother that I want to be. I may not be doing great at everything, but I feel like I'm doing well with them - and that's my most important thing.

Actually, after I wrote that paragraph above - I realized that it's not really me that is still being successful even though I'm not feeling well. It's David. It's all David. He is picking up every inch of slack that I'm letting out and he's making it into something better than I ever could have. I agreed to the Ward Christmas party without talking to him more than just briefly, but he has stepped in and helped with the party and taken care of the kids each and every time I've had to fulfill a responsibility. He takes care of me in the morning, and doesn't complain when dinner isn't stellar at night. He works so hard at his job, then comes home and continues to put in 100 percent. He makes me feel loved and valued and cared about. I could never do this without him, and I'm so grateful that he's the one by my side. 

The holidays are always busy, and I feel like this one has been as busy as it could possibly be. This post ended up being less about my baby and more about my state of mind right now. But I think part of that is that we've been so busy that we haven't had as much time to think about this sweet babe. But we are SO so grateful that he/she is here. I'm SO grateful to be pregnant. I'm SO grateful for this family that I get to call my own. I just hope that I can be the mom that this baby deserves. 

Announcing: Baby #4!

I'm so, so, so happy to announce that Baby #4 will be joining our family in June 2019!

I'm 11.5 weeks right now and have been feeling some pretty big feelings (in addition to a good bit of nauseousness).  This little baby is just teeny-tiny right now, but already holds such a big place in my heart. We’ve been praying for another baby to join our family and I feel blessed that he/she is finally on the way to us. 

As details that probably only I will ever want to refer back to - we've been trying to get pregnant for just over 5 months. It took us many, many months to get pregnant the first time, which resulted in a miscarriage - but then we were able to quickly get pregnant again with Lydia. Austin took us about 11 months, but Caleb was ready to come right away. It's a little amusing that they all are just about 2.5 years apart (2 years 4 months, 2 years 6 months, and 2 years 3 months), even though they all took fairly significantly different amounts of time to be ready to come to our family. 

I’ve been feeling, well - pretty yucky lately. I’m more sick than I have been in my last two pregnancies and I wasn’t expecting it. When we went in for our first appointment, I was terrified that the baby wouldn’t have a heartbeat (I miscarried my first pregnancy and that’s the pregnancy when I was the most sick.) I was equally expecting to find out that we were having twins. But nope, just one little babe, who is doing great. We are so so grateful to be here, living this life with these children, and being blessed to bring another one home to our family.