This week David had to travel to Kemmerer, WY for an auditing job. He really didn't want to have to go, considering our tiny baby boy is still so... new. I was a little/a lot nervous to be left alone with Austin and Lydia for the 5 days he would be gone and so I was more grateful than ever that my parents live so close and that we had arranged to be able to go and stay with them for the week. I'm still not feeling like I'm back into a routine and each day seems more like surviving than thriving, and adjusting is taking longer than I had hoped that it would.
We missed David terribly, but I was overcome with gratitude for my family. I have such a wonderful support system. Not only did my mom and dad welcome us with loving arms and help to take care of us, my little sister Jenna came down from Idaho to help and visit. I couldn't have done it without them. One of the first nights I was there, after I had put Lydia down for bed and
finally gotten Austin to sleep, I laid my head down in my mother's lap and cried. She stroked my hair and rubbed my shoulders and let me cry about how hard it was. At that moment, after a terribly long day of having two little ones need me
so much and feeling like I was coming up short at every turn, I needed nothing more than to go to
my mother and have her hold me and tell me that everything was going to be all right. It was such a blessing to me, and when my baby started crying again - calling to me to come and comfort him - I thanked my sweet and wonderful mother for taking care of me once again. With every day that I am a mother, I grow more and more grateful for the time and effort and love that my mother shared with me when I was a little one. She was the one to care for me and comfort me in the middle of the night then, and here she was 27 years later doing the exact same thing. Through the following nights, she (and Jenna) helped to take care of Lydia while I held Austin and to hold Austin while I slept. What a huge blessing to me.
Also during the week, we decided to take a little day trip to Wyoming to visit my grandparents. My dad has wanted to get Lydia up on a tractor for months and months and the timing worked out for us to be able to go up there and let them meet Austin, let Lydia play with the tractors and cows, and to be able to visit with my grandparents. There is something special about seeing your own grandparents hold your baby. Lydia and Austin are lucky - they have seven living great-grandparents (although we only see five on a semi-regular basis).
After we visited for a while, my dad and grandpa took Lydia on and adventure around the ranch and I was able to sit and talk with my grandma. It was such a sweet and tender experience for me. You know, I don't know that I've ever gone to Wyoming to just talk to my grandparents. It makes me a little sad to admit that, but usually when we go to Grandma & Grandpa's house - it's for something. Branding, birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, etc... And there are usually lots of people hanging around. Also, I'm usually out with my dad, doing stuff on the ranch and helping out with whatever they need. It's not often that I stay behind in the house. But this day, I sat with my baby and just talked with my grandma. It was so wonderful and such a lovely, uplifting afternoon.
We started talking about how quickly my labor and delivery had been with Austin, which led my grandma to start talking to me about her life. My grandma lives in a small town in the middle-of-nowhere Wyoming. The closest big city is Evanston about an hour away, and the closest real-big city is Ogden, UT - about 2 hours away. With her first baby, my Aunt Susan, she was in labor pretty comparable to Lydia - about 24 hours. With her second, my Aunt Wendy, she was in labor for days. She said that she went to the hospital two or three times over the course of several days and finally she just begged them to let her stay. With her third, my uncle Marti, she was in labor for a matter of hours. She had to beg my grandpa to pack up the older two girls and take her to the hospital. Understandably (after the previous labor taking so long and going to the hospital so many times), my grandpa wasn't in a terribly big hurry - although he did as she asked and made beds in the back of the truck for the girls and drove her to the hospital. She was rushed into the delivery room and the doctor delivered the baby before my grandpa even made it inside with the girls. My grandma told me how the doctor joked with her "Verla, you could have at least waited for me to get my white coat on." because she had delivered so quickly and she said how she still remembered the look on my grandpa's face when he entered the room with one girl in each arm. When she talked about the birth of my dad, she made me cry as she talked about how sweet he was and how much love he brought to their family.
She then continued to tell me about how when my dad was a baby, he wasn't able to nurse very well and she ended up giving him formula for much of his infancy. But this formula was brownish in color and because they got their water from a well by their house, the water always had an orange hue. (It was safe to drink - it was just orange.) When my dad would spit-up it would stain his clothing terribly and she always struggled to keep it clean. They had running water in their house, but they didn't have a washing machine. In fact, they didn't have an indoor toilet either, but used an out-house about 20-30 feet from their home. To do the laundry, my grandma would pack up all of her children and go to the laundromat in town, until it burned down. After that she had to go to the laundromat in Evanston (about an hour away.) Finally, my grandpa bought her a washboard to use in her sink to wash the clothes at home. They lived in that house for seven years and then they built a new red-brick home right next to and eventually got a washer and dryer. As I listened to my grandma, I was was filled with admiration for the humble woman sharing her story with me.
I'm a believer that everyone has their own "hard" in their lives, and just because someone else's hard is different than your own hard doesn't mean that it's still not... hard. But talking to my grandma definitely helped me put my own life into perspective. It's hard to not be sleeping, and to feel like you aren't giving enough attention to either of your children, and to not feel capable of staying up on the household tasks that just a few weeks ago were easy. But, not only do I have a washer and dryer of my own - it's set up in a beautiful laundry room with a window and counter. My baby may need to eat all the time, but he's a stellar nurser and even just a few weeks in - I feel like we've got it down. My toddler might want my attention all of the time, but she has plenty of things to play with and she absolutely knows that she is loved. I cried as talked to my grandma, because although her life and my life may seem SO so different - she expressed her love for her children and grandchildren in every word that she spoke. And that love spoke straight to my heart. I love my two little ones, and I love their daddy, and someday - God willing, I will sit in an old rocking chair and tell my granddaughter about how much I loved being a mother even through the hard times and hopefully give her hope that she, too, can overcome the hard things and enjoy her life as she raises a wonderful family.
While mommy was talking Lydia was out adventuring on the ranch:
Not only did Lydia get to ride on tractors, pet/ride the horses, and see the cows - but she also got to help grandpa feed the cats AND ride on the tire swing. As long as I can remember my grandma has always saved the scrap food to bring out to feed to the wild cats in the yard. As we were talking, she told me that she doesn't like to take the food out anymore because the cats basically swarm her at the door. She said that last week three of the cats got into the house before she could close the door and my grandpa had to hunt them down. We laughed as they described how grandpa had to put on gloves to pull one of the cats out from behind the computer by the tail and how one of them bit grandma on the toe (not a funny thing for grandma). I realize that's so random - but it's a story to record.
This tree was our favorite place to play at Grandma and Grandpa's house growing up. Most of the branches were so steep that only the "older" kids could play on them - but we spent hours and hours and hours playing in the tree. Now almost all of the branches are so big and heavy that they are almost horizontal - and last year a bunch of the boys cut off our very favorite branch because it was almost on the ground and was starting to crush some of the farm equipment behind the tree. It's sad to see the tree get so old - but I still have hope that Lydia and Austin will be able to make memories in that tree as well.
It was a wonderful to visit with my grandparents. I know that they didn't always have the easiest life and that their relationship had ups and downs, but to see them together now is so amazing. My grandpa takes such good care of my grandma and they love each other so much. They love the family that they have built together and I am grateful for their example to me.
Before we left, Lydia found another of her favorite things - a trampoline.
It wasn't the most ideal thing to have David have to leave for an Audit engagement so soon after Austin was born, but we survived (thanks in large part to my wonderful family). We are so glad to be home and will hopefully find a good routine for our new little family soon.
