My little baby boy, Austin Scott, turns 1 month old today. It's been a long month, and yet at the same time, it seems to have flown by in a flash. I wanted to do a ten day post, but it didn't happen. I wanted to do a two-week post (after our two week visit to the doctor), but that didn't happen either. Overall I've barely blogged at all since Austin's arrival. Even as I'm forcing myself to sit down to write this post, I'm thinking of all of the other things that I could/should be doing and feeling guilty for not doing those things. I also know that there are things that I've already forgotten or that I'm going to miss as I write things out and that hurts my heart. But, better something than nothing and better now than never. So, in no particular order - here is a giant brain dump about Austin and his first month.
Stats: Newborn clothes, newborn diapers. Probably weighs about 8.5 lbs.
--Austin was born at 7lbs 3 oz and was a great eater and weight gainer from the beginning. They weren't worried about him at the hospital, and they never actually told us his discharge weight, but we calculated that he dropped down to about 6 lbs 12 oz (well within the standard drop). By his two week appointment he was back up to 7 lbs 11 oz, so a weight gain of almost a whole pound in his first two weeks!
--Austin has been a wonderfully sleepy baby. He does pretty well sleeping in his bed and has since the very beginning. So, even though he's waking up every one or two or three hours - the time in between is spent in his bed which makes for much more restful sleep for me and David.
--I am still trying to figure out how his sleep needs work. I mentioned that he's happy to sleep in his bed, but there is actually a very slim window for actually getting him there. He doesn't do very well sleeping while you are holding him, and he doesn't do very well sleeping if you just lay him down. You have to rock him just the right way, and wait for just the right level of sleepiness, and then put him down. If you wait until he's all the way asleep, he'll wake up when you set him down. If you try to put him down too early he'll cry. You have to wait for the perfect moment when he's closing his eyes because he's tired and you can slip him into bed just in time for him to say "Yes, I think I'm going to rest my eyes for a minute."
--He is a fabulous eater, but he has such a hard time sucking on his pacifier. He'll suck for 30 seconds or so and then he'll lose his grip and it will pop out. Sometimes he can keep it going for several minutes (which gets a crowd cheer from David and I). We are
really pushing the pacifier because we want him to be able to suck himself to sleep. We call it "Operation Pacifier". We thought things were going super well, but recently he's started resisting it more and more and getting angry if we try to give it to him. Boo. David is really good at getting him to take it, but he gets pretty upset most of the time if I try to give it to him.
--I said that he's a fabulous eater and he is. We've been nursing on-demand during the day in hopes that it will give us some longer stretches at night. So he eats pretty frequently throughout the day, about every hour and a half or so. Sometimes I worry that my milk production is going to drop because he doesn't eat for very long. I don't have a very strong letdown so its stressful to not know how much he's really getting. But he's growing so I have to hope that means he's getting enough.
--He won't side nurse. At least not very well. It's sad. I'm hoping he'll grow into it. People always complain about their back's hurting during pregnancy, but it's the nursing that kills my back. I try everything. I use pillows, sit in my big chair, lean up against the couch, sit on the ottoman, but my back always kills me. I'm really lucky that Austin is such a good eater, because that would make it even worse if he wasn't a champ about the whole thing. I'll cheer if he can get a grasp on the side nursing thing because it doesn't hurt my back as badly.
--Our insurance paid for a free breast pump this time around and we got a really nice RumbleTuff. I was never able to pump with Lydia because of the combination of my weak letdown and my cheap pump. But I've tried it out a couple of times and pumped two oz for the first time ever! I felt so proud and so relieved.
--Austin spits up a fair amount. Not a ton but its more spit up than I've ever had to deal with before. However, at this point I don't mind smelling like milk and spit up all the time. I like the baby-smell of it all.
--I had a hard time with Austin and his circumcision. I'd heard a bunch of things about why you shouldn't circumcise and started worrying about the whole thing. When David and I talked about it, he definitely leaned toward circumcising, but he ended up not being able to come to the two week appointment. I basically was in tears all day out of pure dread for the appointment. Thank goodness for my wonderful friend, Ashley, who volunteered to take Lydia for during the appointment for me. When we got to the office, they walked us back to this really cold surgical room for his appointment. I was surprised, because I had pictured going to a normal, comfortable checkup room first and then, I don't know, then moving for the surgery. I was really on edge and when the doctor walked in, I started tearing up again. I know that it shouldn't have been such a big deal, but I had worked it up into this huge thing in my head and my emotions were really close to the surface. I tried to play it off as a lack of sleep (because I cry much easier when I'm tired), which made the doctor start questioning my sleep habits, which led him to tell me that I didn't have to nurse at night all the time - David could give him formula, which led him to talk to me about postpartum depression for at least 5 minutes. It was all very stressful because I wasn't feeling worried about me, I was worrying about Austin! I think I was equally worried that Austin would be mad that we circumcised him when he grew up and worried about taking care of the circumcision for the next week. (Both of which, I realize, are silly things to be so upset about.) The doctor told me "I know you are worried, but I'm really not worried. I do like four of these a week. For me, it's not a big deal." I sat by Austin and he was a champ through the whole thing, not even crying once. (Thank goodness for his pacifier and the sugar water that they used to keep him sucking.) The next few days were SO sad and I hated changing his diapers, then at day 7 I opened his diaper to a bloody front. I was really worried and called the nurse who, after hearing me describe everything, said it was probably okay and just to watch it. Two days later I opened the diaper and everything looked perfect. It was like overnight it had completely healed and looked just fine. I still used the Vaseline for a couple of days but we've stopped even using that. I'm so relieved to have that whole issue past us!
--Also at his appointment I mentioned to the doctor that Austin's left eye had been kind of goopy. I was surprised when the doctor said, "Well it's either a blocked duct or an infection - I'll just prescribe you an antibiotic for the infection." He didn't even look at it! I have a friend whose daughter had little blocked tear ducts, and I originally had thought that might be it. The doctor said I could wait it out for a while to see if it went away on it's own, and I didn't want to give my tiny baby an antibiotic for something that he didn't need. So, I decided to wait. I'm part of a Hypnobirthing Group on facebook, and the moms on there are a really great resource for all things baby (even if they are a little eccentric sometimes). I'd previously read a bunch of them saying that breastmilk can help with eye infections, so even though I felt a little silly doing it -I started putting milk in his eye- just like eye drops. I don't know if it really worked, but his eye has cleared up and looks great now.
--I can't find a good picture that will back up my statement, but often (usually during the night) he looks just like Captain Jean-Luc Picard from Star Trek. Seriously. I occasionally call him Captain - because it's just so funny to me.
--Ashley's baby Emily is 5 weeks older than Austin. I've decided that they should be best friends and probably get married. The end.
--Lydia adores Austin. The first thing she asks when she wakes up is "Where's our Baby?" and if she ever can't see him during the day she makes sure to ask where he is so she can keep her eye on him. She brings him his grey bear at least 7 times a day. When he was first born and he cried, she would start crying too, immediately. Then she started running over to put her hand on him and she'd say "Oh no, my baby is crying!" Now she'll alternate between running to him and saying "It's okay, I'm here" and singing him her take on a Daniel Tiger song, "It's okay to cry sometimes, li-ibble, you'll feel better... again." (Real words: It's okay to feel sad sometimes, little by little, you'll feel better again.) She always wants to lay by him and she'll stick her face right up to his (like noses touching) and then laugh about how he's looking at her. She includes him in everything that we do or say: "Me, and you, and Daddy, and Baby Austin. It melts my heart.
--He doesn't like a lot to be going on around him, especially when he's tired. He's happiest when he's in his dark room being rocked before falling asleep. He doesn't like me to sit with him at the computer and he doesn't like me to use the phone/ipad while I'm nursing him. It's been kind of a hard adjustment, but it has definitely helped me to bond with him a little better. Instead of sitting down, latching him on, and moving my brain to other things - I sit and look at his little face and admire his tiny hands. (Most of the time I'm also trying not to stress out about all of the other things I could be doing. It's not like I have a ton of things to stress out about... but it's always when I sit down with him that I start thinking and remembering all of the things I need to do.)
--He doesn't love to be wrapped, but he flails his arms around and upsets himself if his arms are out. He has to have this perfect balance where he's worked his arms out just enough that they are by his face without being completely out but they aren't so tight either before he'll be completely comfortable.
--He's starting to stretch out a bit, but both his arms and legs are really, really tight. It's hard to change his diaper because he curls his legs in and he's so strong that you cant pull them out. Same with his arms when trying to change his shirt. He'll curl them in and won't let you pull them through the sleeves. I always feel like I'm going to break him when changing his outfits.
--He doesn't hold up his head very much yet, and his back is still pretty curved all the time. He's starting to get stronger though and I'm glad because I think he'll nurse even better when he has a little more body strength.
--I've had a harder time adjusting/recovering with this pregnancy. I didn't stop bleeding completely until almost four weeks. (I'm a light bleeder typically and last time I think I stopped bleeding at the end of week one.) Pain-wise I healed pretty similarly, I was up and around within a week and I've been able to go out and about. However, the biggest difference has been my mental/emotional recovery. I don't know why, but I really struggled through most of the first month trying to balance my emotions. It wasn't until just a few days ago that I finally started to feel back in control of everything.
--Austin is a stellar car-traveler. He seems to like his car-seat fine, and even if he is crying - as soon as we start driving he'll start calming down immediately. He falls asleep every time. It's wonderful. He also does really great in his moby wrap. It's a blessing because with a big sister who is such a go-er, it's nice to have a little brother who is mostly content to come along for the ride!
We really love this sweet boy of ours. He's been a perfect little addition to our family and we are grateful that he is here and happy.
