June Wrap Up

Here is our wrap up from June.

Playing sardines after family home evening. Shantel found the perfect spot- no one could find her forever. Finally she got one of the kids attention to come hide her or it would have taken her forever.

We did a donut taste off with our friends the Perkins. They were cake donuts- not regular, which are Shantel's favorites, but we loved judging all the delicious donuts and chatting with our friends.

Kids playing over at the Wardells in the mud.

Lydia learning to make cake mix cookie bars.

The mess left after Shantel did a viscosity experiment with the kids with oil, water and some other liquids.

Me and Lucy.

Oh this was so bad. Caleb has started going poop during his naps, it often ends poorly. Usually he goes in his diaper, but then take his diaper off or spreads it around. It was everywhere. I used clorox to clean every bar of the crib, and multiple spots on the wall. Needless to say, this was the last nap for Caleb. We've stopped naps for him because we aren't ready to move him out of a crib and we can't have this either.

More Lucy.

Last, June 30, was primary elections and we voted (your home is your polling place, was the slogan this year). We always vote by mail, so it was not that much different, but we were glad to vote for people we thought would be the best choice for our state.

David and The List

I think that I've posted about this before - but I can't remember and so I'm going to post it again. 

I was going through some old papers and things and came across this list written in a notebook from my college days. It's titled "The List" and is full of ten qualities that I was hoping to find in a future husband. We can debate the actual merits vs detriments of having a list like this a different day - because we definitely have opinions about how a lot of the time the best person for you may be very different than any list you might make. 

However, 

David and I have now been married for over 11 years. 

He still checks off every single one of these items. 

1. He has a testimony of the gospel, served a mission, loves & trusts God, will be able to bless my home with the Priesthood.

2. Intelligent. Likes to learn new things and gain knowledge.

3. Sense of Humor. Can laugh and make me laugh. Can brighten my day.

4. Treats me well. Loves me for who I am and who I can become. Will help me to be a better person -- but will love me even when I miss up.

5. Likes the outdoors. Will spending time outside with me and my family.

6. Handyman. Is able to fix up things around the house and build simple things.

7. Will comfort me when I cry - but will understand that sometimes I need to cry.

8. Will be adventurous with me. Can make small, simple things fun.

9. Is honest, truthful, faithful, and dependable.

10. Stands up for what he believes in - but willing to compromise.



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I love this David more now than I did when I married him 11 years ago and he is more of a dream come true than I could have even ever written into a list like this. He's an amazing father and my best friend and I'm just so grateful to have him in my life. (And I hope that I'm able to check off as many boxes for him as he does for me.)

insta-june

Instagram was a heavy place this month with a lot of emotionally-charged topics and a lot of learning and unlearning, especially about issues concerning race in America.

These were the only two posts that I wrote - because it felt like too much to be posting silly little moments when so much heaviness was happening in the world. But I want it to be noted, that David and I want a future for our children, and all children in this country, that is filled with hope and unity. We are doing our best in our home, and outside of it, to be a part of the change that makes that happen. America is a wonderful place to live. She has her faults, but in her heart- she wants to live up to the lofty ideals that she represents.

 
{5.29.30}
These are my boys. Austin and Caleb, 2.5 years apart, also 2.5 lbs apart. I worry about them sometimes: Am I a good enough mom for them? Will I be able to teach them to be valiant, brave, and kind? Will kids make fun of Austin's speech delay? Will Caleb have enough attention as a third child? Will they be able to have every opportunity in the wonderful life I imagine for them? ... Do you know what I don't worry about? I have never once worried that someone will arrest and then murder them in the street simply because of the color of their skin. ... My heart hurts today. It hurts for all of the days that any mother wakes up with this fear (or any like it in her heart). I wish I could do SOMETHING. I wish this was Rosa Parks and I could decide to boycott the Montgomery Bus system and walk instead of ride for a whole year to show SOMEONE how I feel. To force SOME change, ANY change. Honestly, I feel like rioting just so that SOMEONE will notice. How can this even be happening in this country that I love so much? And that's the end of my post. No pretty moral at the end of the story or oversimplified determination to just do better myself. It's just raw sadness. Sorrow for my friends. Grief for my brothers and sisters who have slightly more melanin than I have.




{6.1.20}
When Lucy was first diagnosed with Albinism, I was trying to find a Facebook support group for parents. I am notoriously bad at internet searches and knowing how to find what I'm actually looking for, and I ended up stumbling across a Facebook group devoted to speaking out against violent/hate crimes against people with Albinism. In a "can't look away" daze, I scrolled through article after article of horrible reports. David made me stop and promise to never look at that page again, but my heart cried out "Is this something I need to worry about?? Is someone going to try to hurt my baby girl because she was born with a different genetic sequence?".
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You guys. I'm not actually worried about Lucy. We have enough power and privilege to make sure she's safe and will live a wonderful life. But there needs to be change in our hearts, our lives, our society to make that true for others who don't really have the power to make that true for themselves. We need to take a step back and LISTEN, then move forward together. I have been worried but have also been feeling peace and hope for the future. Things can change if we go to our knees to pray, then move forward with purpose. I am putting together an action plan for myself and will be sharing that along with many other resources and posts that I find valuable and helpful in helping us listen, learn, and then take action.
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My friends, I ask you to take some time to LISTEN. Take a step back from the uncomfortable feeling of protests and defensiveness of your own skin color. Listen to the stories without passing judgment. Listen with compassion and with a prayer to know how God wants to use you to fulfill his work in this situation. We have the ability to speak and have someone listen to us, and we have been asked to use our voices for good. We can make a difference.

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{below is a post I made on my Instagram stories at the beginning of July. Typing it up again here has made me again determined to walk the middle path. To listen, to stand, to BUILD. }

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I've been silent on Social Media for a couple of weeks as I've been trying to find my best words, to know what Heavenly Father wants me to do to push His work along, and to make this place a place of love and peace for all of His children. 

It's been a heavy month. 

But I want to share some thoughts. I want to be able to post on Instagram about my baby's first birthday and eating popsicles on the grass without feeling like I'm ignoring a significant issue in society. I feel like I have to make this post before I can do that, then hopefully I will be able to find a good balance. 

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I believe that Satan frequently presents his lies in pairs, in extremes. The grand plan is to make you feel that if you are against one, then you have to choose the other. And then you have to defend your choice at all costs "lest evil win". 

But the path of Christ falls in the tricky-to-navigate path in the middle. It takes faith, it takes, hope, it takes a willingness to be humble, to listen to both sides, to pray, to stand for truth and righteousness while still using the goodness of God to change within and reach out with love. 

This is a place where we stand and say "We will not allow racism to take place in our hearts and in our society. We will work to be anti-racist in our homes and communities. We recognize that there is hurt and there ARE problems and we use the grace of God to navigate those issues and do the work to better the society we are in." 

We listen to others and we do not tell them that their experiences aren't real because they don't match our own life experience. 

We repent, we diversify the books and voices we listen to, we find those of different backgrounds who love the Lord and we link arms with them in Faith. 

We mourn with those that mourn. 

We educate ourselves by listening to real stories of real people (both who think similarly and those who think differently), we do not use their stories to "prove our point" but we use them to understand the world that we live in. 

We also stand. 

I believe that policies will not fix the hearts of the people. Only people can do that. There is a slippery slope to asking policy (and government) to enforce what only hearts have the power to change. 

Governmental change for positive change is good. Extreme policy without extensive and careful consideration is dangerous and will have extreme and damaging unintended consequences for all parties. 

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We do not allow those with a flawed past, but who tried to do right in the sphere that they had, to be criminalized, and the good they did erased. 

"We should judge our historic figures by whether or not, on the whole, they were bending the arc of history toward a more perfect union." 

We need to understand our history, teach the complexity of humanness, and recognize the hand of the Lord in the lives of those that came before us. 

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We take our past and we BUILD our future. 

Today I celebrate America. I celebrate with solemnity and recognition of the work that can and should be done to create a future of goodness and light. I celebrate that we CAN build. That we can learn and change. 

I will walk the middle path, the path of love and strength. I will stand for truth and righteousness against both extremes in all circumstances and help build a community - a country to be proud of. 

"The Bible carried across the ocean by early colonists and settlers sparked not only the hope of freedom but the confidence that God could do wonders with flawed human beings. It has been noted from the Bible that Peter had a temper, Jonah ran from God, David had an affair, Paul was a persecutor, Noah got drunk, Miriam was a gossiper, Martha was a worrier, Matthew was a sinner, Thomas was a doubter, Moses stuttered, Zaccheus was short, Abraham was old, and Lazarus, of course, was dead. Each was flawed, each worthy of a monument. 

America is made from the many foundational principles etched in our history and engraved on our monuments by the founders and by those who have followed. Our heroines and heroes are representative of one of the most redeeming attributes of our nation -- that America, at its core, is a redemption story. 

Over and over and over again, this nation has been renewed, restored, and redeemed. That should provide us, individually and collectively, hope for better days ahead." 

www.deseret.com/opinion/2020/7/1/21309953/the-monumental-mistake-of-banishing-americas-less-than-perfect-history

I have a prayer in my heart for our country. For each one of you, wherever you are at in heart and mind, and for the Lord to lead us and help us navigate this path together. 

Basement Update - June

Here is the basement update for June and we have carpet!

With carpet coming soon we moved upstairs to do a little touch up paint.

Here we are patching a few spots where the screw was bumped out from the wall.

 

It looks so good upstairs with a fresh coat of paint in a few places that really needed it.

Here is the basement, all ready for carpet.

Here are some upstairs before pictures. Yes- the carpet is so bad. You can see right where the rugs/couches are.

And here is the finished carpet upstairs and downstairs. 

We moved the grey couches into the family room and the blue couches down to the basement. 

 Walking down to the basement with carpet the first time felt amazing! It feels so different to walk down and have it feel like a room and be ready to play.

Here is awesome working on drilling into wood. He loves building and really enjoys figuring things out.

Here are some pictures from the basement, which immediately became the kids favorite place to play.

Lydia did an instructional video about working out. You can see my picture of recording her workout. The little camera that we were using is not very easy to hear the playback and so I told Lydia to be loud if she wanted to hear it when she watched it and she made a sign to remind herself and then the schedule of what she is going to demonstrate. So so cute.

The kids set up a kitchen under the stairs. 

Here it is with things set up downstairs. You can see Lydia already built a fort next to the couch.

The basement looks amazing. We just have a few more things left (yes- it always seems to be that way). We need to put on door handles. Also, the doors are too low and so we need to trim the bottom and sand the sides so they close correctly after being painted. However, the kids can play down there and that makes it so nice. We love having the space for the kids and it has turned out really great.

Summer Thoughts

I started this post as a place to put all of our June Hikes - but then this ended up being the only hike that I took pictures of. We also went to our favorite swinging bridge, and maybe one other - but June flew by and we didn't get out as much as we usually do. The coronavirus is really putting a damper on things because even we we do get out, the trails are just busier than normal and it's hard to know how busy is too busy. I've decided that even though this summer is going to be a little different than a usual summer might be, that's going to be okay. We might do less hiking, less exploring, and we might not go swimming at all, but that will be okay. 

This hike we hit up with our favorite Middleton crew. It's called Jungle Trail in Draper and it was created specifically for kids to explore nature - so there are branches to duck under and paths that weave back and forth. It was just fun. I sat down in the dirt and made peanut butter sandwiches on my lap for all the kids to eat and it was just one of those moments when I felt like I was giving my kids a really great childhood. I want to remember that feeling, especially in the middle of so many other limitations. 

While I'm here writing some thoughts about summer, I thought I'd add these pictures/thoughts, too. For a long while, we were totally self-isolating and not even letting our kids play with any firends/neighbors at all. Then about mid-May decided that we would let our kids play with the Wardells who live next door and then go on hikes with the Middletons. When we are with them, we don't wear masks or try to social distance. It's just too hard to do that, so instead of social distancing while we are together, we are just limiting our social interactions.

But as May passed and then into June, we started allowing a few extra visits here and there. We've been going to my parent's house regularly, we've done some social-distanced visits at David's parents, and even though we aren't getting out much - we've still been able to see some of our friends this month.

Remember this photo from almost exactly a year ago??? Ashley and I at roughly 35 weeks pregnant. And now these sweet babies, Lucy & Jackson, got to hang out for close to the first time. It's so sad that they've not known each other this year because our other babies basically grew up together but this year has been such a crazy year for both of our families. We just haven't had much time to spend together with our kids, and that's okay. Seeing them together now was just perfect. Ashley was so kind to come and drop something off to me to borrow and then I convinced her and her kids to stay and play for a while. We chatted while the kids played in our recently-finished basement and all was right in the world!

A few days later, my two best friends from high-school, Tausha and Kayla, came for a visit and it was just balm for my heart. I love these two so much and wish they didn't live so far away (Arizona and SPAIN, respectively). But they always make time for me when they are in the state and I'm SO grateful for that. 12 kids between the three of us, now. I'm lucky to have them in my life.

And now for the biggest news of the summer: my parents got a dog! Lydia is in HEAVEN. 

They've been talking about getting a dog for months and months and months, maybe even a year. Lydia has been SO on board with them getting a dog and has sent them dog breed recommendations, taken my mom to the local shelter, and talked with them non-stop. When we first went to meet Rugby my dad said to me "We got a dog for us, but you know that we got this dog for Lydia, too, right?" That's how you know you have amazing parents... when they will get a dog for your child so that you don't have to. We've been up to visit him every week this month and we all love him. Especially Lydia.



We celebrated Father's day with my dad while David was out of town helping Bruce move to Colorado. We played with the puppy, made bread, and just enjoyed being up there. We made a paper-chain to countown to retirement for my dad and Lydia used her own money to buy a special blown-glass figurine of a deer for his office (complete with hand-made book about deer of the world). Austin loves being in the kitchen and making things and he especially loved making the bread with different mixins (grains, raisins, herbs, etc...).

So yeah, this summer is not shaking out to be a "normal" summer. It's certainly not going to be a "summer of dreams" but it really is going to be okay. My kids are happy and that's enough for right now.