Support from Friends

This month has been a hard month for our family. We have been emotional as we have mourned the loss of our beloved Mother and Grandmother. It's been really beautiful to see the community we have rally around us with love and support. 

-The Wards brought donuts because they knew we loved donuts and wanted us to know they were thinking about us. This is just one example of the many many people who reached out to us. 

Here are a few others: 

-Eide Bailley sent flowers. Everyone at work was really supportive with time off and kind thoughts. Many coworkers and Partners attended the viewing in a show of support.  

-So many different neighbors or people who came by and brought flowers or dinners. 

-The Shields sent a text to David and me sharing their love. (Karli's dad passed away just a few years ago and it was tender to have her text us.)

-Ali Middleton gave our family a large potted plant. 

-Shally Rowland gave us a book about Grace. 

-The ward Primary Presidency brought a small flowering plant. 

-People brought cookies, snacks, and food.  

Normally David doesn't particularly love attention or feel the need to have people send something. But when we were feeling that sadness it really did make a difference to know that people cared and were thinking about you. He felt it significantly, and I did, too. 

The Christmas Tree Story

I had an experience this week that I wanted to document. 

It starts with my crazy vision of creating a "Narnia" porch for my kids and their Halloween Costumes. Knowing that I was being a little much, I tracked down a beautiful wardrobe and several used Christmas trees on KSL to decorate our porch and take pictures with. It turned out exactly as I had hoped, and I told myself that it was okay to spend the extra money on the porch decorations because I was just going to sell them on KSL afterwards. Dutifully, I posted and sold the wardrobe and also posted this Chrismas tree that I had gotten just weeks earlier on KSL. 

I had a few people reach out about it, but hadn't had great success in selling it. I had messaged with someone who said they wanted to come look at it, but then hadn't responded in over 6 hours. Typically it's good manners to wait for 24 hours before moving to the next person in line but I was feeling particulaly antsy about selling it, and without thinking too much about it, I decided to reach out to the next person. When I opened my phone to find the next person in line, I felt like I should actually reach out to the person who was 3rd or 4th in line, and I just did it. (This is fairly out of character because I have feelings about the appropriate procedures for online buying/selling.) 

The lady said she could come that evening, but when she showed up and saw the size of box her face fell. I totally understood, because my face was the same when I bought it initially. The tree is a 6.5 foot tree, but the box is pretty small. It's clearly not a dense, fluffy tree, which is fine because it's a cheap tree on KSL and could be fine for lots of families/situations. I was prepared for her to tell me that she didn't want it, or ask me to lower the price, and she very delicately explained what she needed the tree for and asked for my opinion on whether this would be a good fit for her. 

She was in the middle of a nasty divorce and her ex-husband was fighting her over who got to keep the Christmas Tree. The tree was sentimental to her because her coworkers had purchased the tree for her family when their last child was born, but the husband wanted it, too. She had gotten him to agree that she could keep it if she provided him with a different tree. 

When she asked if this tree would meet his needs, I had to tell her honestly, "No." This tree would be good for someone, but not for this situation. I felt bad that I couldn't be of more help. She said, "I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I feel prompted to share with you. I'm a religious person, and I have been praying about this for days. I only have a very small budget ($35) and have been praying to find a tree that could help resolve this so that my kids can have a tree for Christmas. I felt so strongly that this was going to be the tree and that Heavenly Father was leading me to you. But it's clearly not the tree, so I will just keep looking,"

Her faithful attitude touched my heart and I wished so much that this tree could have been the one. Originially I had been hesitant because I thoguht she was going to ask for the tree for free, which would have been fine - but I really wanted to get the money for it to cover the extra spending I had done for Halloween. But at that point, after hearing her story, I even considered going down to our basement and giving her our Christmas tree! It would have been weird, and I'm not sure our tree even would have been the tree that she needed - It's about 10 years old, too. I told her how sorry I was that this wasn't the tree and I told her that I was also religious and that I would also pray for her to be able to find a good tree. 

She thanked me and as I shut the door I said a prayer in my heart on her behalf. Almost immediately I felt chastised by the Lord. The words weren't clear, but the feeling was very simple. Why should I pray that she would be able to find the help that she needed when I had the ability to help her? Then, forcefully, I heard the words enter my heart. "I sent her to YOU." 

The Lord knew that sweet woman needed a tree. She thought that tree was the one that I was selling, but in actuality, the Lord was sending her to ME and he wanted me to help her. I wandered to where David was in the house, briefly explained what happened, and then told him that I felt like we should buy her a tree. He agreed, saying that we could do that if I felt like we needed to. I did some quick online searching to see how much a nice tree would be, something that would meet her needs while still being affordable and then reached out to her. Thankfully I had her contact information and was able to text her telling her that I felt prompted to contribute to her "find a tree fund". Initially I was planning to send $100-150 thinking that would be enough for most of a tree, but I felt the spirit prompting me to stretch myself and give her a full $200. 

I learned a long time ago that the money we have isn't ours, its Heavenly Father's, and sometimes He wants us to spend it differently than we might otherwise have chosen. David and I try to be good stewards of our money, we save, prepare, give a full tithe and a generous fast. After taking the Personal Finance class put on by the church, we started a "CARE Fund" where we save a certain money every month, separate from our charity budgets, dedicated to donating or helping people. Sometimes we use this for simple things like flowers for a neighbor, or donating to a good cause. We hope that eventually we will have enough money in there to be able to help on a larger scale (pay for someones car repair). But the money in that account is literally dedicated to helping people the Lord needs us to help. When the Lord prompted that woman to come to our home, He knew that tree wouldn't be what she needed. But He also knew that He had prepared us to help her. I'm so grateful that we were able to do so. 

I asked for her Venmo and after a few texts assuring her that I really wanted to help and that I didn't need her to pay me back, she sent it to me. I sent her $200 along with a few links to trees that I thought might fit her needs. I told her that she could keep whatever extra she had if she found a cheaper tree and add the extra to her kids Christmas gifts. 

She was incredibly grateful, and this was clearly a huge miracle for her and her family, but I don't feel like I can take any of the credit. I think that the Lord puts us in the path of others and sometimes they help us and sometimes we help them and always both are blessed. I'm humbled and grateful that the Lord trusted us to act in a way that would bless this family. It seems like such a small thing, but it mattered to them. I know that the Lord cares about the things that matter to us and I hope that David and I can continue to be relied upon by the Lord to make a difference to those around us. 

The next morning I messaged the next person in line about my Christmas tree, and it had been picked up and paid for within an hour. It's just a really incredible example of how the Lord knows and loves us. 
 

Lost Earring - pt 2

On Thursday January 28, 2022 I dedicated an entire blog post to how sad I was about loosing an earring that I had inherited from Grandma Blanche McAllister. 

It read: 

 I lost one of my earrings when we were at the Peaden home for Christmas. I'm so sad. 

I inherited this from Blanche McAllister, David's grandma, and I felt such a connection to her each time I wore it. It's beautiful and it has long been my favorite set of earrings. 

The reason for writing about it, (other than to record how sad I am - you know I tend to dwell on how sad I am when I lose things I love - ahem, looking at you my favorite hat lost @ Multnomah Falls in 2016), is that I mentioned to Cal and Sue that I'd lost it and asked them to keep track of it if it turned up. Cal called me back a couple of weeks later telling me that he'd completely torn the house apart looking for it and then he'd spent several hours on top of that looking through jewelry websites like Etsy looking to see if he could find a matching set. It didn't turn up, but I'm just so grateful to have Cal as a father-in-law. He's kind and good and absolutely did NOT have to take the time to look so long and so diligently for something so small, but he did anyway and that's something that is quintessentially Calvin Peaden. I love him and I'm grateful that David has such a wonderful father to follow. 

Happily, I have a PART TWO to add to this story. 

But first I have to tell you that over this summer I lost my favorite blue sapphire ring, the one that my parents gave to my for my 16th birthday. I was sure that it would turn up and started by "keeping my eyes open" for it. That slowly escalated from casually looking in the places that it might have fallen to deep cleaning anywhere it could possibly bed; including under my entire bed, through every drawer in my dresser (and behind it), and using two forks and a mask to go through the vacuum bag. 

I couldn't find it anywhere and slowly and steadily lost hope and gained a deep sadness. I've lost this ring before and have had it miraculously returned to me after much prayer and in a clear show of love from the Lord. This ring has been a token of love from my earthly parents and my Heavenly Parents. 

Once when I was still in high school I accidentally left this ring on the counter at a gas station on a road trip. This was back before cell phones and I was devastated. By the time I realized that I must have left it behind after washing my hands, we were too far away to turn back. I cried the rest of the way home and my parents managed to find the phone number to the exact gas station we were at (I think we might have used a phone book, ha) and we called the number. They said that they found it and would put it in an envelope to mail to me. I was SO grateful and cried some more. But then it didn't come. I prayed and prayed that it would come, but weeks went by and no ring. I was experiencing a significantly difficult time in my teen life, and in one of my lowest points - guess what showed up? My ring, in a battered and torn envelope. Miraculously the ring was still in there and the fact that it appeared when I needed some reassurance that the Lord was there and that I was loved impacted me significantly. 

A similar story happened when I was in college and I lost this ring in the middle of a giant area of grass at a park. I had made some pretty big life changes as I was trying to follow the Lord's plan for me (i.e. breaking up with a boyfriend which allowed me to meet and marry David), and losing the ring was sorrow on top of heartache. When I found it, it felt like a gift from Heaven saying "See, I'm here taking care of you. I'm aware of you and your situation and I won't lead you astray." It was a confirmation that I was making the right choices and that I was known and loved. 

When Austin was small and I was struggling I lost that ring. I remember asking the Lord to help me find the ring and to help me know that it was from Him, not just a coincidence. That it would be a signal that He loved me and that He was real and the Gospel was worth fighting for (not a demand, but a sincere plea). I ended that prayer, leaned over my bed to grab something from the floor, and sat back up - ring in hand. It was right in the middle of the floor, where I had looked dozens of times and walked past hundreds of times since the ring had gone missing. It was a tender mercy that helped me get through a difficult time in my belief and mental health. 

Fast forward to this year, 2022. I ALWAYS put my rings together when I take them off. My wedding ring + band and my sapphire ring. When my sapphire ring went missing, I couldn't imagine where it would be because I still had my wedding ring. I went MONTHS without finding it, and as I mentioned above - what started as casual looking turned into full-fledged searching. I prayed to find it and anytime I had the slightest thought about where else it could be - I acted upon the thought to show that I was willing to follow each prompting. Austin saw me looking for the ring one day when I had pulled my dresser out and was searching behind it. He suggested we say a prayer together and so we did. In that prayer, I prayed that we would be led to find it - and even if we didn't find it, that we would both be able to feel an added measure of the Lord's love to make up for the lost item. 

We didn't find it. 

I was sure that the ring had ended up in the garbage by accident, but I still felt the love that I was looking for. I felt that there wasn't much the Lord could do if the ring was in the middle of a dump somewhere, but that he had compensated by helping me feel at peace and to remember that the love that he had sent to me through that ring was still real and wasn't going anywhere. I talked to Austin about it and we both were sad that we couldn't find it - but recognizing that the Lord still loved us. 

Enter the lost earring. 

It was several weeks. maybe a month after Austin helped me pray and look for my ring. I had basically given up hope, although every so often on a whim I would stop and search a random area (maybe it's back here in this corner of my closet under all my shirts!... nope.) We went to Sue's house to visit in the afternoon and were in her room chatting with her. Lucy reached up and accidentally pulled out one of my earrings. Sue sat up like she remembered something and said "Oh, I've been meaning to ask you - is this earring yours???" 

She reached over and grabbed an earring off her dresser and handed it to me. It was my earring! The one from Grandma Blanche Mcallister that I had lost Christmas 2020. The one that Cal had searched his whole house for. The one that has had its matching pair sitting in my closet for the past two years because I couldn't bear to part with it. (I've even approached several jewelry makers to see if they could craft a replacement to complete the set with no luck.)  I was shocked more than anything, then so excited! As I thought about it that day, I felt a huge wave of love pass over me. It felt like "Even though you couldn't find your blue ring - I am still here and I still love you." An answer to my prayer. 

I put it in my pocket and brought it home with me. When I went to find the matching pair in the small box I have of my favorite jewelry in my closet, I was elated to have the two of them together. Then, I shuffled a piece of paper that was sitting next to the box and peeking out from underneath was my ring. 

My blue sapphire ring. 

The one I had been searching for, for MONTHS. The one I had given up as lost for good. 

Not only had I found my sapphire ring, but also the earring. It felt like too much. Overwhelming in the amount of goodness and love that had been showed to me in a tender mercy so small most people would scoff at it. But to me, it felt like an answer to my prayer magnified 200%. A double answer. A cup running over with blessings. 

I dropped to my knees in a prayer of gratitude. Later that evening I gathered my children around me and I bore testimony that the Lord knows us and loves us as I told them my story. 

Whether or not I lose that ring again tomorrow - I hope I never lose sight of the presence of the Lord in my life. I hope to hold this love around my heart and let it sustain me with the certainty that I am known and loved by my Heavenly Parents. 

When my girls turn 16, I hope to give them a matching birthstone jewelry set and tell them this story and hope that it can remind them that they are known and loved here and in Heaven. (My boys, too, I'll have to figure that out.) 

I probably wouldn't have written this blog post, (even though I'm already so glad that I did) except I accidentally came across the "Lost Earring" blog post when I was looking for something else - just days after finding the ring. It felt like another tender mercy to realize that I had written about losing the earring and that I should write about finding it so that I don't ever forget.