Things I think.

I seem to go through stages with blogging. I get behind on things that I want to post about and when I finally get the motivation to blog them - I do them all at one time. Like four in a day for a week and half straight. Then I slack off and let myself get behind again. Oh well. I love blogging. That's why I do it. (Of course, I also love to print out our blog books as our family journal.) So whenever I get stressed out about it - I just stop and remind myself that I should just do it when I love it. Some of my favorite posts are the ones that are about little funny adventures or about the random thoughts of my brain. So I'm trying to remember to write more of those instead of just about what we did.

That being said... Here are some of the things I have been thinking about lately.

-I love Lehi. I really do. I love how it still has that small town feel, even though it's huge. The other day we were talking about the population of Lehi and so I looked it up. In 1990 the population was less than 9,000 people. In 2011 it was almost 49,000. It's amazing. As I was driving by the Lehi Roller Mill I was thinking about how much has changed - and then when I drove past the abandoned gas station by I15 and 2100 North, I had this irresistible urge to stop and take a picture of it because it won't be there for much longer. Some new building will come in and no one will ever remember what it looked like when we moved here. 

-It makes me sad when people talk so negatively about gaining weight during pregnant. I totally understand the feeling of wanting to look nice and be healthy but when I hear people talk about hating their body because they are getting fat (or about not wanting to get pregnant ever again because then they would have to loose that extra 40 pounds) it really makes me SO sad. Not only do I feel sad for them because they are missing out on the beauty and joy of a happy healthy pregnancy, but because I immediately feel that they must think that I was fat and ugly during pregnancy. But you know what? I didn't ever feel fat and ugly. Of course, I was big and sometimes uncomfortable - but I thought my body was more beautiful than it had ever been before. Maybe that's too much for some people. But I'm being honest. I wish I could help people understand that sometimes you have to look past the scale and take life for what it is. Pregnancy is about so much more than "gaining weight" and "ruining your body". I feel like people sometimes take for granted what a blessing and a miracle it is to be pregnant.

-On a similar note: I read this article about passing on body hatred several weeks ago and still haven't removed it from my browser tabs on the iPad. I. Loved. It. Again, I loved it. I cried as I read it, and as I am rereading it now, I can feel the tears welling up again. I love the closing statement: "Let us honour and respect our bodies for what they do instead of despising them for how they appear. Focus on living healthy and active lives, let our weight fall where it may, and consign our body hatred in the past where it belongs." This sums up exactly how I want to live my life. I want to teach Lydia that she can be anything and do anything and that she is inherently valuable. Her divine nature, her role as my daughter, her life - these things make her valuable. The way she looks is a tiny tiny tiny part of her whole self and she can contribute so many things that have nothing to do with appearance. I want her to know that she is smart, funny, and caring, and that those qualities (and the qualities like them) are the most important. I want her to be confident in herself because of the things that she does and that she accomplishes. To quote from the article again, (Lydia's name inserted) "When [Lydia] looks to us to learn how to be a woman, we need to be the best role models we can. We need to show her with our words and our actions that women are good enough just the way they are. And for her to believe us, we need to believe it ourselves." This is why I am making an effort now to stop criticizing myself each time I look at a picture of me. No more "Please take another one, my bangs look funny, or my arm looks fat, or whatever tiny detail I don't approve of." This is why I am making an effort to gracefully acknowledge and accent complements that I receive instead of saying "No, but you are very nice."  This is why I am making an effort NOW to love myself for who and I and the things that I have done/do in my life instead of focusing so much on my appearance. Because I can't just tell Lydia these things, I have to believe them and act on them. This is why right now I am making an effort to live a healthy and active life and to let my weight fall where it may and instead spend my energy that used to go toward worrying and criticizing myself on serving my family and friends and letting the more important things shine through in my countenance.  

--On a lighter note: When people do smilies like (: instead of like :) I always think that they are doing a frownie face like :(  - because the parenthesis is the wrong way. Sometimes it makes for really confusing emoticons. "I really love my husband (:" ends up in my head as "Oh, they really love their husband... but they are unhappy about it. Wait. Is that a smiley face? It looks like a frowny face. Oh, nope. The colon is on the right-hand side which makes it a smiley face." Jeez. Am I missing something? (I do notice them more in people younger than me - so maybe it's a generational thing?)

--It may be towards the end of the summer, but we are finally getting a move-on on putting plants in our yard. We don't like bees, so we are going with mostly non-flowering and easy to maintain plants in our flower beds. The thing that I am thinking about the most is whether or not we should put a little bench in our front flower bed. The sun hits our backyard hard in the evening and so we will probably be spending lots of hours in our front yard. Most of our neighbors have covered porches -but we do not. So it might be nice to have a bench to sit on. But I worry that it will look funny to me to have a bench in the flower bed. Hmmm. Obviously I haven't decided yet.

And that's it for today's edition of "Things I think." Some of them are a little deep. Next time I'll do a "Thinks I Think - Light" Haha.