After School Snack
One of my favorite things was coming home after school, my Mom would always have "after school snack" ready for us to eat. We would come in after walking home from school (or riding the bus in High School). We would sit down and eat and my Mom would ask us about our day and what we learned. I remember one particular day I came home and she had made the most delicious bread sticks for snack and I was so happy. In high school those were important times that we knew she would just sit and listen to us and be there to talk to us. I was able to talk to her about big life decisions like about where to go to college.
Supporting our interests
As kids we all got really really into Harry Potter. By the time the 4th book came out we were all really into the series to the point that we would go and wait at midnight for the release of the newest book. My Mom was really supportive of us and also read all the books. One of my favorite memories is that for one of the book releases we went to Barnes and Noble (around 8:30 or 9 pm) and waited until Midnight when they let us in the buy the book. We did not get home until after midnight. However, while we were gone, my Mom surprised us by decorating the main room with all sorts of Harry Potter decorations. It was so fun and we came in and had snacks and a huge reading party. She was so supportive of the things we were interested in.
Playing Games
My Mom loved when we all got together to play games. Usually, she would just watch. Many of my favorite memories are of us all playing games at the table or on the floor. Especially when my Mom would let us stay up way past when we should playing games as a family. There were a few games though that my Mom really liked to play with us. In particular, she loved to play Canasta with us and that was by far her favorite game. We loved playing with her. I feel like she helped us build a culture of game playing in our family. The other game she learned to love was Nertz and would also play that with us, even though she rarely won, she loved being with us.
Movies and Books
My Mom loved to watch movies and some of my favorite memories were sitting on the floor in front of her bed and watching movies or TV shows with her. In particular, on many nights I would lay down on the floor in front of her bed and hoped that if I stayed really quiet, she would not remember I was there and let me keep watching. Sometimes she sent me to bed, but many times, she would let me stay up late and watch shows with her. She had a vast movie collections that spanned a lot of genres. It included things like classics with Cary Grant, Doris Day and Shirley Temple, Hallmark movies and romantic comedies (she loved You've Got Mail), but also included things like Star Trek, James Bond and other action filled movies. I remember watching Shirley Temple movies with her. My favorite Cary Grant movie I watched with her is Charade. My very favorite all time movie to watch with her was probably "How to Steal a Million." I really liked watching Star Trek the Next Generation (with Captain Picard), both the TV series and also the movies that came out. I would also watch any Hallmark movie she happened to have on. Other favorites I loved to watch with her: Around the World in 80 days (with Pierce Brosnan) and Remington Steel (also with Pierce Brosnan). Shortly after Shantel and I were married we watched that whole series together. She also had almost every Disney animated film and we loved watching those.
She loved reading books and I think my love of reading came from both her and my Dad who both read a lot. One of her favorite book series was Mrs. Jeffries.
Christmas and Gift Giving
My Mothers love language was definitely gift giving. She showed her love by the incredible effort she put into each birthday and Christmas to make sure we had the perfect gifts. She loved receiving gifts from her children. Each birthday she always made a cake for each of us that was decorated with something that we loved. She spent time finding just the right gifts for us and making it a special day.
Christmas was a big event and my Mom loved loved Christmas. Gift buying would start months before and she made she she had things that every child would really want. She always required us to provide a list of things we wanted because she wanted to make sure the gifts we got were things we wanted. However, her favorite thing was when she could find a special gift that was not on someone's list, but that they really wanted or were really excited about. Almost every year she would have a couple of "special" gifts that were typically big surprises and were more than she would normally do. She would be so excited for those and could not wait for Christmas for the person to open the gift. One of my favorite family Christmas traditions was that our gifts did not have each individual child's name on it. Instead she would come up with themed names (for example the theme would be Harry Potter and then the names on the tags would be Harry Potter themed, then the present would be to Hermione, and at Christmas she would tell us which child was Hermione. Usually each child had 2-3 secret names so you could don't know which presents were for you. This also meant if she got a giant present, no one could know who it was for. I remember one year, It was my first year knowing that Santa Clause was not real and she asked me to help her know which GI Joe toys should go to which of my younger brothers and I thought it was so fun. One year my parents decided to get Kevin a laptop (which was a much bigger present than usual) and my Mom was bursting with excitement to see his reaction Christmas morning. My parents did not spend a lot on each child, but my MOm made sure to budget all year so she could buy multiple things for each child. Through the years there were so so many presents that she was so excited for. I received many amazing gifts that I was excited for and showed my Mom's love. She also really loved beautiful wrapping and decorating and so each present was beautiful wrapped and had a bow or ribbon. When we were older my Mom needed help doing all the wrapping, so she would box up the presents and then we would help wrap them and have "wrapping parties" and I loved those so much. Other Christmas traditions included having Frappe (Lime Sherbert mixed with Sprite) and Christmas Roll on Christmas Eve. I also loved that on Christmas Eve we would organize the presents around the tree (and usually count them) and then sit and look at them. When we opened presents on Christmas morning we always took turns, each child would open their present before the next one started because my Mom wanted to see everyone open each present. As people got married and grandkids were born, that meant opening could take a long time, but my Mom still wanted to see each present opened, even if it meant opening presents could take all day.
One of my favorite memories was the year we got my Mom a new table. She really wanted a newer nicer table for a long time. The one we had my Dad had built, but she really wanted a nice table. Bruce had the idea to get her a table for Christmas. He brought in the whole family to get enough money (which the majority coming at great sacrifice from the older kids, particularly Bruce and Matt). Then on Christmas Eve, we snuck the table into the house and hid it (with the legs off) and then around 3 am snuck out to finish assembling the table. This time it was my Mom's turn for a surprise when she came out to see a beautiful table. Bruce had even gone out shopping to figure out which table she would want. I think it shows how much her children were following to be like her.
Vacations/Traveling
My Mom loved to go on vacations and did so much work to make it happen. We got to drive all over to see new things every year and go on vacation in our big van. It was a Ford Ecoline 350 and was mostly white, with a blue stripe. That was also the vehicle my Mom drove us around in all the time. My Mom loved camping and being outdoors. We went hiking and camping in so many different places.
Many times when we were traveling, if it was lunch time, my Dad would stop the van and my Mom would get out of the front and climb in the back of the van with all the stuff (bags and sleeping bags and tent) and make herself a little sandwich making shop and she would take orders of what everyone wanted and make it and pass it up to as so we could get further down the road or eat lunch between two different things we were doing.
One of the favorite things in the car was when we got to sit in the "middle seat" between my Mom and Dad. The middle seat was not actually a middle seat, but it was just a small bench they set in between their two seats. I loved getting to sit there and listen to them talk and talk to them and have the best view out the front to see everything. Every child got a turn sitting there and loved it so much.
Some of my favorite family vacations: Yellowstone, Yosemite, Mt. Rushmore, Nauvoo and New York. My parents also loved traveling together and probably went to almost all 50 states together. They taught me that you can find something interesting and cool almost anywhere you go. In 2021 we had decided we really wanted to go to the Redwoods with our kids. As we talked we thought it would be really fun for my parents to come and so they came with us. It was so much fun to have them there. It is a trip I will always remember.
Food
I just wanted to share some of the favorite things that my Mom would make. She always cooked dinner for us and made sure we had good food to eat. Every Friday night was my parents date night. They would go on a date, which usually meant they went to dinner and then went to Harmon's (the grocery store) to get food for the next week. That night was always cold cereal night and one child got to pick a delicious cereal for dinner. During the week we did not have sugar cereal, but on Friday night date night we got Lucky Charms, Fruit Loops and Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner. When my parents got home it was an entire operation to bring in the groceries, mark them with the month and year they were purchased (since they would go into the basement food storage room) and then put them away. I always loved looking through the groceries to see if my parents had bought something delicious. Some of my favorite meals that my Mom would make were: Potato Supreme (absolute favorite and what I asked for on my birthday), Beef Stroganoff, Mac and Cheese, Creamy Italian Chicken and Mashed Potatoes. My favorite treats included Chip Bars and Frappe. During Christmas my Mom would make delicious sugar cookies and Cheese Chip Cupcakes. I did not like the Cheese Chip Cupcakes with small sprinkled nuts and so she would take the time to make sure there were special ones just for me with no nuts. We would almost never go out to dinner as a family. On family trips we usually went out to eat and McDonald's or Wendy's for one dinner. However, when my Grandma and Grandpa McAllister were in town, they liked to go to El Farol's Mexican restaurant. Usually just my parents and some of the older kids got to go. Eventually, I became and older kid and loved going to eat there with my family. I would usually get a chicken taco and I really love the chips and salsa. My Mom loved going to a restaurant called "Macyos" when she was growing up and I think El Farols reminded her of that. After I started working at HBM/Eide Bailly, we had a client in Phoenix and multiple times I got to do dinner at Macyos. One year Shantel brought the kids to spend the week while I worked and my parents came too and we got to go to Macyo's with my parents.
In addition, every semester when we got our grades if we got good grades, we learned to go out to dinner with just Mom and Dad. It was usually a kids choice, but we could go to a nice sit down restaurant. I honestly can't remember many places that I chose, but I do remember a few times choosing to go to "Tony Romas Ribs." I think I also got to go to Sizzler a few times. It taught me how to eat out at a sit down restaurant.
-She spent so much time helping me to earn merit badges and do scouting. She really encouraged me to attend mutual, even when I did not want to go.
-She helped me prepare for my mission. We went to the stores together to buy suits and shirts and shoes and luggage and everything I needed. She wrote to me every single week during my mission, without fail.
-She drove me to my first job interview (at Dairy Queen). When I think about all the big moments in my life, she was somehow involved, even if it was just getting me where I needed to be.
-She drove me to basketball practices and came to watch me at all of my basketball games.
-She loved her grandchild and when they were born she could not wait to come to the hospital to hold them and see them and then whenever they visited she just wanted to be with that little baby. My kids now still just loved going back to her room when they visited and giving her a huge hug
-Loved sewing and making blankets. She made special soft blankets for kids and grandkids. As she had less energy to work on some of the projects, Shantel loved working with her, often with my mom giving directions while Shantel did the work.
-Whenever I came home for the weekend from college she always had ordered an extra gallon of milk and other food so that she could send me home with food. I would go back with tons of food and she made sure I had enough. Whenever Shantel and I had a child in diapers she would always get coupons for diapers and she would buy us diapers and bring them to us and it was so nice and made such a big difference to us.
-My Mom did not like to be cold and since she grew up in Phoenix, it meant that it did not take much for her to be cold and because of that, she always slept with a heating blanket and almost always had a sweater on (usually brown or white).
-My Mom loved See's Candies. Every Christmas each child would get their own halfbox of See's candies and she made sure to fill it with what each individual child liked. My favorite See's Candies are the Scotchmallow, Dark Butterchew and Dark Chocolate Truffles. Those were among the favorites of my Mom too.
-My Mom never really learned to use the internet. When she got an iPhone she did use a few apps, but for the most part, she pretty much relied on us kids and my Dad to do anything on the internet. My secrete belief was that she probably could have learned, but she liked it was an excuse to have someone come sit with her and help her do whatever she needed (most often buying a present from someone).
-Even when she could not attend the temple frequently because of health, she supported my Dad being an ordnance worker for years.
-Some of my favorite memories were when we would visit my Grandma and Grandpa in St. George. My Mom always had a really good relationship with her parents and loved spending time with them.
-My Mom was very frugal and taught me a ton about being financial wise. She was always cutting coupons. She always talked about how she was budgeting and saving for certain things each year.
-She was always there, especially on vacations, to make sure we were being safe. She would let us climb all over rocks and jump and play, but was there to make sure we were not too dangerous and call us back down if we climbed too high.
Without a doubt, I think her most treasured moments were when she got to be in the temple with her children. She loved to be in the Celestial room with her children all gather around. In fact, I think really any moment with her children and grandchildren around her was a treasured moment, but especially in the temple. She had a testimony of Jesus Christ, she knew the Church of Jesus Christ was true and taught us as children and helped us grow our testimonies. I will miss her, I do miss her. It has now been a few months, but I needed that time before I could write this post. If I ever went more than a couple of weeks without talking to my Mom, she would usually give me a call to check in and see how things were going. She loved Shantel so much and thought of her as one of her daughters. I will miss my Mom and I love her so much. She did so much to take care of me and help me be whole I am today. I hope some of these notes will be able to help me remember her over the years until we are together again.
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