insta-december

Sometimes instagram captures my pressing thoughts better than blogging does. 

{12.16.21}

Yesterday marked ten years from the due date of our first baby, miscarried at 12 weeks. I don't often think of that heartache but this week thoughts of that pregnancy, that precious baby, have come to me again and again.

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The loss was heartbreaking. It had taken us a long time to get pregnant and my body didn't handle the miscarriage well. (Is that even a thing? 😳) Even after Lydia was born, I remember attending a RS activity and for part of it we had to think of a trial we had gone through and share what we were grateful for about it. I vehemently stated that I was grateful for NOTHING about that trial and that NO good had come from it.

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I don't know why I have been thinking so much about that, this week. But here, 10 years later, are some things I am grateful to have learned through the experience:

-I am grateful for the empathy I have gained for those who have experienced infertility and infant loss (so much more acute than my own).

-I treasure the children that I have and feel such a sense of awe at what my body was able to do.

-Even these 10+ years later I remember vividly the comfort from David, his unwavering faith, and the way our relationship was strengthened.

-I recognize the support and tender mercies of the Lord through this and all of my struggles.

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I don't know how a miscarried baby affects the eternities, but I trust that everything will be just as it should be.

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I am grateful for the Light of the Savior. Leading me along. Being patient with my stubbornness. Soothing my grief. Strengthening my weaknesses. Bringing things to my remembrance when I need to learn lessons from my past experiences.

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{12.22.21}

Fun fact: I fell in love with David at Christmas-time. It was like our very own Hallmark Christmas movie, including a snowstorm, a date with a different boy (we were "dating other people"), a moment when I realized that all I wanted was to be with David, and lots of Christmas magic at home with his family. This time of year always brings back those memories and feelings of magic and falling in love. I'm so grateful for that snowstorm, that awkward date, how patient and kind David and his family were, and the magic that fills the Peaden Home at Christmastime.

Favorite Christmas Traditions:🎄🎄🎄

-Christmas Kickoff (games, food, quality time, and sleeping by the Christmas tree with the kids )

-Christmas cards and neighbor gifts

-David's work Christmas Party

-Peaden Christmas Party & white elephant (thank goodness there was no fish this year).

-Burning half of the Christmas sugar cookies (who needs kitchen timers? Me.)

-Christmas Roll and Frappe (fancy cinnamon roll and sherbet slush).

-Hallmark Christmas movies

We always do a handful of other Christmas things and this year one of our favorites was Candlelight Christmas at This is the Place.🕯️ I also impulsively decided to sew our entire family Christmas pajamas, which was both a horrible idea and a nice creative outlet. 😂

We are finishing our wrapping tonight thanks to a Chickfila run and some Dr. Pepper. 🙌🙌🙌

Christmas Festivities (and Kickoff)

 Here are some of our highlights from our Christmas festivities.

For our work Christmas party we did a Jazz game. We met for dinner with the whole group before hand and then all had seats together. We had a great time together (even though we lost a close one). 

It worked out great because we had my parents watch our kids and then we had my family Christmas party the next morning. We did breakfast (including some delicious waffles from the Renchers)

We played Christmas charade and that was incredibly fun. I loved it because Lydia and Austin both took turns drawing and both did so awesome. We were able to guess as many or more of the things on their turns as anyone else. It is so cool to see them growing up and getting bigger. 

We did a cousin picture outside (our poor kids eyes). 

We also did a white elephant gift exchange and had a fun time with that. The big winner was Austin. There was an automatic card shuffler that got opened and he was so excited and he really wanted to get it. He managed to make the 3rd steal on it and got to keep it. He was in Heaven. 

Lydia, Aubrey Jacob and Wendy all gave piano performances and Lydia and Austin performed the song they have been practicing for our ward called "When We Seek Him." 

After the Peaden family party we went to meet the Walkers for a surprise retirement party for Shantel's Dad, Scott. He did not know about the party, but his official retirement was December 16th. We planned to meet at a restaurant and then had a few gifts and things. Jake and Melissa also surprised him by renting a Tesla that he could drive that day which he loved. Unfortunately, the Tesla ran out of battery and the place they planned to charge at was out of order. They ended up not being able to make it to the restaurant so we missed them. 

However, we are so grateful for Scott and all his hard work going to work every day to support his family. 

After we went with Jenna and her kids, plus Melissa and Adam (her boyfriend) to see a giant gingerbread house at the Grand America. 

Here is Austin with his new card shuffler. 

We had our Christmas Kickoff the next day on Sunday the 19th. We had an amazing time and here are a few things we did. We did hot chocolate with the kids. 

Our kickoff box included hot chocolate bombs, a new movie for that night (Paw Patrol), Pez dispensers for the kids, and fake snowballs that Bruce actually gave to us at Thanksgiving. We also had a new game, Gnoming Around. We spent the day playing games together, went to church and watching our movie. We even had a couple of massive snowball fights. 

The kids were so excited to bring the beds down and we got everything set up to watch the new Paw Patrol movie. 

Shantel and I ended the night snuggling up together and reading books. We had a great day spending time with the kids and hope it is a tradition they remember. 

The 2.5 Comparison

I was writing Lucy's 2.5 post and opened up Caleb's 2.5 post to remind me what I wrote for him. His sweet chubby face gave me all the feels and led me to search out Austin's and Lydia's 2.5 year old posts, too. These darling kids, I love them all so much! Then, because I get to do whatever I want to do (ha!) I decided to do a 2.5 comparison post of all of our sweet 2.5 year old babies. 

I do also want to note that each of our other three kids had a baby sibling at this 2.5 post. I'm feeling really happy with the way our family is right now and seriously SO thrilled to be able to enjoy this stage right now with all sorts of energy that I wasn't sure I would ever get back. I love babies, and love my babies, but thought it was worth mentioning that I'm happy to not have a baby right now.

Now on to my sweet 2.5 year olds... I just copied and pasted the opening paragraph, photos, and one or two things from their post. 

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Lydia Elise @ 2.5 Years Old

Oh this sweet, opinionated, loving, strong-willed two year old of ours. We love her so much and simultaneously wonder how we are ever going to teach her anything. She seems to have jumped into full fledged two year old mode, but even with the tantrums and stubborness - we still adore her and don't know what we would do without her. She still has the ability to absolutely make my heart melt and make me feel like the most special mother in the whole world.

--She gets joy from the smallest things. Olives on her fingers = the best thing ever. Building a giant tower = the best thing ever. Jumping on the couch cushions = the best thing ever.

--She's started holding her hands up to her eyes to "see". She uses her binoculars to "see you" and it's super darling. She also uses toilet paper rolls as telescopes and any other items with windows to look through.

Austin Scott @ 2.5 Years Old

Austin, my sweet boy. You are such a joy. You're opinionated, funny, and a wonderful ear! I'm completely torn because two and a half years doesn't seem nearly long enough to fit all the joy that you've brought to us, but at the same time I still think of you as my little baby and I can't believe you're so big!

-We wake up every morning to Austin shouting from his crib (which is now in Lydia's room that they've been successfully sharing for a couple months now) "Mom! I want oh-yurt! I want ohhhhh-yuuuuurt." He wakes up early and wants to eat immediately. That's a pretty good snapshot of our life right now.

Caleb Samuel @ 2.5 Years Old

Caleb Samuel. You're just the best of the best. 2.5 years has been good to you - and I submit that you're the cutest, sweetest 2.5 year old around. You're chatting up a storm, curious about everything, and have a natural ability to make people smile. You are really throwing yourself into the role of big brother. We love you so much and we are so happy to have you in our family.

 

He loves books. One of his favorites right now is "How to Train your Train" and if you pause at the right places he will fill in the words for you. Like, Let's make the call of the Wild Train... Chugga Chugga "Choo Choo!" and How do you know if the train you picked is the one? "You'll know!" I love him. He also loves "The Little Engine that Could" and he will say lots of those words, too.

Lucy Holland @ 2.5 Years Old

Lucy-darling. We love you so. At age 2.5 you are either delightful sunshine or stormy temper. However, at 2.5, it's all wonderful. The highs and the lows. Maybe it's because you're the littlest one and we've done 2.5 before, but even your tantrums or big feelings don't get us down. We just smile and wait for your cheerful face to reappear as soon as you work through whatever is troubling you. Now, sometimes you don't finish eating dinner because you're too upset about not having the purple plate - and sometimes you feel so angry that you scrunch your face and want to pinch someone - but most of the time you're just the most cheerful little person we know. We love this age with you and are treasuring each moment. (Except that you want to potty train, we are NOT ready for that.)

Two of the biggest things that mark Lucy at this age: 

1- She loves getting into my keys/wallet and pulling out all of my credit cards. It's really a problem but I like my wallet the way it is so I'm hoping that this is just a stage and I don't have to change. Unfortunately, I'm currently missing my driver's license, so that's not great. 

2- She loves babies. Like LOVES babies. She talks about them all the time and tucks them in at night under their blankets. She's the sweetest little nurturer to them.