Dear Austin,

My sweet baby boy,
Last night you were having a rougher-than-usual time falling asleep. I'd been in your room several times - gotten you to fall asleep and successfully transferred you to your bed - only to have you wake up 20 minutes later. I would stare at your monitor, silently wishing that you would fall back asleep on your own, sigh, get up, and head back upstairs. The process was starting to wear on me. But as I scooped you up in my arms, again, I was struck by the amazingness of your presence. My sweet baby, who I prayed for and waited for and wanted so badly, you were here in my arms. It's strange how pregnancy can seem so long and those newborn months are so all-encompassing, but sometimes when I look at you - I am surprised and amazed that you are here and that you are mine.

I walked you to our big cozy chair and slid in sideways, leaning my shoulder into the soft back of the chair and bringing my leg up to rest your body on. I started nursing you, even though you were already half asleep already. Within seconds your body relaxed and you were sound asleep again. I stared down at your face, grateful for the love filling my heart and replacing the frustration. As I looked at you, you smiled in your sleep and I was overcome with love for you. I don't know what you were dreaming about. Maybe you were dreaming about your Daddy coming home from work and giving you a big kiss on your forehead. Maybe you were watching Lydia run in circles and make funny noises to make you laugh. Maybe it was some abstract dream of colors and shapes. Or maybe, maybe you could feel the love radiating from my soul and it seeped into your little body filling you with a portion of the happiness that I was feeling.

I've been thinking about that moment all night. It didn't last very long, just a few minutes - but that sweet connection with you is one that I already cherish. I hope you always know how much I love you. Even as I spend my nights sleeping in a chair and spend my days holding you on my hip - I wouldn't trade you for anything in the world. I will love you always.

Forever,
Your adoring Mother.

Easter 2015

We had a lovely Easter this year. The actual holiday landed on General Conference so we took our "Easter Sunday" pictures on the Sunday before. (Lydia crashed on her little scooter/bike the day before - but the little scrapes are pretty normal for our active little girl.) 

Last year we had such a fun time doing our egg hunt with the Coopers that we knew we wanted to do it again. We love these guys.

(She loved eating the candy right out of the eggs, but was very cooperative when I encouraged her to put all of her candy in a plastic ziplock bag.)

We like doing the egg hunts/Easter Baskets and such on Saturday so that we can focus on Christ on Easter. This year I started compiling stuff for the kids baskets for several weeks and was so excited for her to get her new puzzle and especially her Panda bear book/plush. It was so cute, as soon as she saw him she was thrilled and said "Now I have a big panda, a little panda, and a medium sized panda!" I was surprised that she could so quickly understand that she had a new little panda so her other "little panda" was now a medium sized one. I put a little gift/candy together for David and then bought my mom and myself some candy, too. It was a lovely morning. 

We also went to a large organized egg hunt put on by a local real estate group. It was SO much fun, we loved it. My mom came down to spend the weekend/watch conference with us and it was fun to have here there.  I was just so happy that they did the egg hunt super early so that we could still get home in plenty of time to watch conference together. 

Conference was wonderful, but more on that later. For now- these two pictures make me happy. Lydia cuddled with my mom for a bunch of the morning session. Later on, she insisted that David make her a "nest" by holding up a blanket between the couch and coffee table. This daddy sure loves his little girl. 

The thought of dying eggs this year made me cringe. Instead I pulled out a favorite childhood activity - Rainbow Toast. You add a little food coloring to milk and use q-tips to make patterns on the bread then toast it in the toaster and eat it. It was much less messy because you are only dipping in the q-tip and not the whole egg but it's still lots of fun. 

 One final egg hunt with Aubrey and we concluded the more secular Easter events. 

I mentioned earlier how wonderful it was to have conference on Easter. Elder Holland spoke about Easter in the incredibly powerful way he has "That first Easter sequence of Atonement and Resurrection constitutes the most consequential moment, the most generous gift, the most excruciating pain, and the most majestic manifestation of pure love ever to be demonstrated in the history of this world. Today we celebrate the gift of victory over every fall we have ever experienced. Every sorrow we have ever known." I always enjoy the spirit felt during conference but this conference I went in with a prayer in my heart about some specific things, mainly the courage and direction to help my little family stay close to Christ in such a confused and scary world. I feel reassured that with the help of the spirit, we will be able to navigate the storms ahead of us.

We are so grateful for the atonement of Jesus Christ and for the opportunity that we have to ponder and celebrate this incredible gift. Happy Easter! 

March Re-Cap

Here are some fun things that we've been up to this month: 

--We discovered the happiness that is playing with paint in the bathtub. If Lydia had her way we would do this every. single. day. 

-Austin is darling. The end. 

-Our friends who are way cooler (and way more talented) than us hosted a three-part cookie tasting experiment. Amy is an incredible baker, a Bakeaholic - if you will, and she wanted to determine which of all the many many chocolate chip cookie recipes was the best. We met together the first three Mondays in March. Part 1 and 2 had about 16-20 cookie recipes each, and then part 3 we took the top five recipes from the previous weeks. We've never eaten so many delicious cookies! We rated the cookies and cookie dough on Look, Taste, and Mouthfeel, then entered our scores into an excel spreadsheet. It was all very professional. It was so much fun to get together with several couples and eat cookies (followed by chips and salsa) and chat and hang out. We are so glad that we have such great friends in our area. Also, it must be said - by the end we were certifiable cookie snobs. "This cookie has a much better texture, and I like there is just enough salt to enhance the flavor but not so much that it is salty." Haha. However, as we ate the leftover cookies over the following days, we realized that they are all pretty much delicious and that it's a miracle that we ever narrowed it down.  

Leftovers. Yum. 

-Lydia is still sleeping in the crib, but Austin was more than ready to move out of the pack and play, so the Coopers helped us out and connected us with an extra crib that was hanging out in Scott's parents storage. We are so grateful because we didn't want to buy another crib, but we didn't want to force Lydia out if she wasn't ready. 

--Lydia, Austin, and I spent a weekend in Idaho Falls playing with Jenna and the rest of the family (and going to the wedding of Chris and Tara Rae). We missed David, but it was a lot of fun. 

-St. Patricks Day was fairly low-key, but still super fun. We had a "green" breakfast in the morning and went to a St. Patricks party at the Middletons in the afternoon. We certainly felt very lucky to have such a nice day. 

--We love the Farm, and Lydia makes for a darling cowgirl and loves riding the horses. 

--We went to an indoor soccer game for Lydia's cousin, Zachary. Go team! 

 -Hanging out before bedtime. 

 --Oh. The smiles on this little boy make my heart just melt! 

-Swinging at the park. 

--Sleeping. 

--Not sleeping. 

--We went the the Museum of Natural Curiosity several times this month. I love my baby carriers (I have an Ergo and a Beco) and I love that Austin loves them. Lydia loves that I can follow her around pretty much anywhere without having to battle a stroller. Also, Lydia learned how to go down the small slide face first. She's quite the adventurer, that one. 

Happy March!