Some of the very most important moments in life often don't have pictures. Or even things that last over months or years lack pictures because either you are enjoying the moment that you just soak it in without taking a picture, or it just is not the right moment for a picture. This is one of those posts - so I've just got one picture and mostly just a lot of thoughts.
My Dad has not been feeling well for quite a while. However, I would say it is just in the last 4 months or so that he has really started to complain about being so tired. Even at that, him being tired involved extensive work to finish the basement in the daybreak house that Michael use to live in. It has been very stressful him was a lot of work, but he also didn't feel well in general.
In February he went to the doctor and they did a scope of his heart and indicated that he had significant blockages in 5 different places. Initially it looked like they may do surgery later in March or early April, but the more the surgeon looked at it she really wanted to get him in much sooner and scheduled the surgery for February 28th. Heart surgery is very invasive and we knew that my Dad would need a lot of help. In addition, my mom is really sick and weak too and he is her caretaker, so she would need someone there to take care of her as well.
The week before the surgery Kevin, Amy, Shantel and I went to Wendy's house for dinner so we could make a plan for how to make sure we could care for my parents. It is rare that any of us our out of town, but Kevin, Wendy and me all had time out of town right after the surgery, so it was even more tricky than it normally would have been. However, we made a plan so that there would be someone at the house to take care of Mom and someone at the hospital with my Dad.
I also went over to my parents one evening and my Dad went over a few of the estate things with me. We all felt the surgery would go well, but as the trustee for the estate, we also wanted to make sure I knew everything I needed for that and also just in case he was in bed for a month that I could pay any bills or take care of anything else needed. Kevin and I went over the Sunday before his surgery and gave him a blessing that his body would respond well to the surgery.
Since the doctor was fitting him in as a 2nd surgery, he did not go in until early in the afternoon. Wendy took him in and then waited at the hospital. It was scheduled to last about 6 hours and work on 5 different blockages. I went up to the hospital after work around 6 pm to wait with Wendy. It was really nice to sit and chat with Wendy and we went down to dinner together in the hospital cafeteria while we waited. They got all done and we talked to the doctor who said it went really well. After he had an hour in recovery we were able to go to his room and see him. He still had the breathing tube in and was not yet awake/alert. We talked to him for a while and started to open his eyes and wake up a little. He had just a massive cut down his chest where they had cut in to do the surgery. It was not too long before they would kick us out for the night and Shantel and I were flying to Indianapolis the next day for Caleb's six year old trip so I headed off and Wendy stayed a little longer. I was so grateful that the surgery went well and that the doctor felt like it would help him. I felt bad that we would not be there to help the next few days, but when we booked our trip we had no idea he would be having surgery.
We got text updates while we were on our trip and he was doing well. We got back Sunday night and I was on the schedule to be at the hospital with Dad on Monday. I drove up Monday morning and when I got there found out they were going to release him that day (after only 6 days, when we thought it could be 8-10). It was a really interesting experience because he was so weak. Obviously much better than he had been, but still so weak. He needed help with everything to get dressed and clothes on, get shoes on, talk to the doctors, pay for the prescriptions, just all the little things. I am grateful I was able to be there to serve and help him in that way. It took about 2-3 hours to get all ready to go by the time we met with all the doctors etc. He took a wheelchair down to the car and I came around with my car to pick him up. I wish I had a picture (but it was not the time) because he had his heart pillow that they gave him to protect his chest against the seatbelt on the way home. We talked on the way home about his surgery and how he was doing.
The rest of the day was spent just helping get him home and get him the things he needed. He was mostly in bed but tried to get up and walk around as much as he could. One of the things that we helped with before the surgery was helping them buy a new mattress. We helped them get a purple mattress with an adjustable base. We should have thought of it sooner because my mom really needs that being in bed so much. However, it was so good for my Dad post surgery as well. I was responsible for getting his medications organized and making sure he took those and also getting him food etc. Kevin came over later that night to help and stay over that night in case my Dad needed help in the night (which he did need a couple of things). I also ran to home depot to buy a new shower head that could detach so that it was easier to do showers etc. Then I got that installed for them before I left for the night.
The next day I came back that morning and worked from their house that day while I helped them with anything they needed. You could tell my Dad was getting stronger and tried to do some more things for himself, like making his own breakfast and lunch. I stayed all day Tuesday, slept over Tuesday night, stayed all day Wednesday, slept over Wednesday night and then stayed all day Thursday and drove home just before dinner. I helped both my Mom and Dad and was glad to be able to help with the things they needed. I slept on the couch in the family room so that I was close enough they could call and I could help if they needed it. My Dad only needed help once in the middle of the night to adjust his Oxygen.
Over the weekend Shantel was gone, so I was at home with the kids Friday-Sunday. When I did go back over it was amazing to see how much better my Dad felt and how much stronger he was in just a few days. By the time we went there and did Caleb's birthday presents on the 19th he was doing so much better. Now he has already been approved to start driving again. Shantel also spent much time there the week after Caleb's birthday taking care of both of them. She is very caring and kind to do so much for them, both after the surgery, but also just in her weekly visits.
