When did this happen?

Right now I am sitting at my beloved iMac computer, in my wonderful little apartment, eating a whole wheat bagel with Honey Almond Shmear. As I was making myself the bagel I started wondering "When did I grow up?" I know that might sound totally lame, but I can't help it. For some reason this bagel represents something I have been thinking about a lot lately. I used to be the girl who would eat a blueberry bagel with strawberry cream cheese just because I liked the taste. Fruity kid flavors are always my number one choice. But here I am enjoying this absolutely delicious Honey Almond Whole Wheat breakfast. 

When did I stop running away from something just because it was unfamiliar?

I have a pair of black flats that I adore. I just bought them with a good friend, Megan. (Check out her photo business, she does a great job!) However, there was a time I swore that I would NEVER wear flats. I liked my tennis shoes just fine, thank you very much. 

Over the past couple of weeks I have started carrying a purse around. And it's not a little thing! It's a large black leather bag. 

No, my purse isn't Gucci, it's a great DI find. I found it a couple of years ago and it has been hanging out in my closet because I have this strange habit of buying purses without being able to bring myself to use them. For those who know me well, know that I would just as soon carry my wallet in my hand than have to tote around a purse. But now... I feel so sophisticated walking around with my sleek black bag. 

I am married. 

I live in a house with just one other person. 

I own two computers and a big screen TV.

I am graduated from college.

I have brown hair that is cut into a cute little a-line. 

It is far from the shoulder-length blonde hair that was once all that I knew. 

The other day, I ate the most delicious chicken I have ever had. It was cooked on a grill and covered in fresh tomatoes. I didn't scrape the tomatoes off. I ate them all. Even the ones that were left over when the chicken was gone. 

When did that start happening?

Sometimes I feel like I am the same person I was as a freshman in high school. I don't feel like I have changed all that much. I love the gospel, I love my family, I love to be successful and I love to have fun. But I have changed. I have changed a lot. I realize that most of the things I have mentioned are superficial things... but other things have changed as well. I am more aware of others around me, I have more faith, I know that consequences will come for each of my actions, I love more deeply, I am more confident, I am more willing to try new things and not hold myself to my old likes, dislikes and fears. 

I looked at myself in the mirror this morning and realized that I have come far from where I was. 

Now as I type this, I realize that I have far to go until I am where and who I want to be. 

I hope that I become more willing to help those around me, more willing to put God first in my life. I hope that I can become a kind and gracious mother. I hope to become more confident, more virtuous, more forgiving, and more accepting. 

I realize that there isn't really a point to this post. But I have to wonder... how did I get here... and where am I going. Do you understand what I am talking about? They say that you don't just wake up one day and say "Okay... i'm grown up now!" But you know what? I think I just did.