Today, I don't feel like being structured so who knows what this post will end up being about. Its the end of the term at school and things are fairly chaotic and I am battling conflicting emotions of excitement that the school year is halfway over, sadness at loosing my students, fear at what next semester will bring, anger that I have to switch my classes, stress of trying to get final grades completed, and super excitement about my little baby. It's a lot of emotions to take in all at one time. No wonder I am exhausted every day when I get home from school. I pretty much come home, make dinner, try to time it so it is ready when David gets home, then fall asleep on the couch as soon as we finish eating. My sweet husband then puts dinner away and studies for the CPA exam until it's time to go to bed. I don't like falling asleep so early, but I am seriously so exhausted that my body shuts down. They say that the third trimester just gets more exhausting. I hope that I can survive with my new classes and everything.
I haven't made a big list of New Years Resolutions, because I think that sometimes I try too hard to change too many things. However, yesterday I had some time to sit and think about the few things that I really wanted to focus on this year. This is what I decided on:
1- Deliver a healthy baby. (This may seem silly, but it's a lot of work and a big deal so I decided to include it in my list.)
2- Continue to develop an attitude of Charity. Make sure this shows through my actions to the people around me. (i.e. give the benefit of the doubt, don't complain, don't judge, perform acts of service.)
3- Do my visiting teaching every month. No excuses!
4- Be more involved with Finances/ Budgeting.
I tried to pick one thing from each area of my life. One attitude thing, one action thing, one real life thing. I don't know if that makes sense. But I had so many things that I want to improve I had to just pick one from each area.
As I think about my life lately, i've been overwhelmed with how blessed I am. The tender mercies of the Lord have touched me and taught me. Sometimes it gets easy to complain about the $1,000+ car repairs that we had to do on both of our cars, or the change in my school schedule, or the fridge door that breaks on the morning that I am really late to school. But then I think about how blessed I am to have a good job, to have a loving husband who was able to travel across the world and back without so much as a scratch on him and I think - How lucky am I? I had experienced a terrible, stressful, exhausting day at work last week and I was on the verge of tears all day. On my way home I heard on the radio about a group of policemen that had been shot at earlier that day. One of them had been killed and several others were in critical condition. They had a sound byte of one of the wives who was talking about her husband and about the situation and I just started crying. What would that woman give to come home to her husband and be able to complain about her crappy day at work? The rest of the night, I enjoyed every second that I got to spend with David. I loved every burnt noodle, and every stressful item on my to-do list. There was nothing that I would have changed about my day. Because this is how I feel... we are all going to have hard times. We are all going to experience things that we don't want to experience. But, the way that we treat those hard times- that is what really matters. I'm realizing more and more what the phrase "Come what may, and love it" means. At some points it may just mean "Come what may, and love that it isn't something worse". But things are going to come no matter what.
In other news, this weekend we celebrated the birthday of my dear friend, Tausha. It was awesome to get to see her and hang out with some of my favorite people in the whole world. It was even more awesome because all four of us will have a baby within 8 months of each other. Tausha just had her baby at the beginning of January, then May, June, and July/August - Kayla, Bekah, and I will deliver our babies. I am beyond thrilled. The only thing that could make it better is if I could convince Kayla and Tausha to stay in Utah so our babies could actually grow up together.
Well, thats about it for today. Happy Monday everyone!
5 comments:
i was the same way when i was pregnant. fell asleep on the couch every night at like 7. serious. i was so so tired. i don't think it got worse in the 3rd trimester. i think it got better. at that point it was close and i was antsy to get things ready. so maybe that helped me be motivated and have to have energy? i don't know. also. i had my set evaluation when i was like 8 months pregnant, and the only thing my principal said i should work on was my energy level. he had good things to say, but he said "you want the kids to think you love english so much that you go home and read and write all day" and i was thinking "ummm...i don't. i want to go home and sleep all day because i am 8 MONTHS PREGNANT! hello?" haha. my adviser lady was like "seriously? does he not see your stomach?" anyway. my point is that i didn't have energy. i mean, i don't remember being sleepy-tired. just exhausted tired. anyway. who knows if that makes sense. you will be fine. you have to remember that your baby comes first, and if that means a little more low-key lesson plans than you would have taught pre-pregnancy, then so be it. no biggie.
Great post Shantel. I think we all have moments like that - where we realize how much we have and how much we take for granted.
Good luck with your new classes!
Your baby bump is so cute!
Please don't be a blog loser. I love reading your blog!
I've been thinking a lot lately about wanting to be a more compassionate person, and I was actually thinking about what you had written here about an attitude of charity. You've been such a wonderful example of this - thank you!
Also, all of those emotions you described definitely sound exhausting. :)
Post a Comment