Dear Lydia

I've had several sweet moments with you lately and already my memory is beginning to fade. It breaks my heart to know that these sweet moments will become such a blur that I won't be able to remember, but in an attempt to capture some essence of the feelings I've had - I'm writing them out for you. Who knows, maybe someday I will make a book of these "Dear Lydia" letters. Maybe I will forget and you will stumble across them. Maybe you will never read them. But I hope that you do, because then you may know how much I truly love you.

-- I had just finished feeding you after your morning nap and I brought you into my room so I could change for the day. I laid you on my bed and you started coo-ing at me. You curled your legs up to your chest and gave me the biggest smile then flopped your arms and legs out so you were lying sprawled out on your back. It was the sweetest thing and I couldn't resist laying down on the bed beside you. We sat there for several minutes just smiling and talking. Usually after a minute or so, you get bored and want to move or do something new (you certainly are my go-er girl) but this time you were content to just lay and smile at me. I loved it so much. I told you all about how special you were and how much I loved you and you giggled and basked in my attention. It was like you were soaking it all in. The moment was so special to me - I tried to memorize the picture in my head. The morning light streaming in through the window. Our faces just inches apart. Your hands outstretched - grasping and moving and learning. My lips kissing your little fingers. Your big blue eyes so full of life and joy. Your purple onsie and bald little head. It was a moment that made my whole day. I hope I never forget.

-- Your dad and I have been working so hard to help you sleep in your own little bed - but it's been quite the adventure. Some nights you do great, waking up just to eat. Some nights you still just want to be cuddled. I'd been up with you several times already one night, and after laying you down I collapsed on my bed falling asleep immediately. What seemed like seconds later, I heard a noise from your room and in my sleepy state I realized that your dad was no longer in bed beside me. I got up and peeked into your room. Your dad had heard you and before I could wake up - he had gone in to take care of you. I stood in the doorway for several minutes with only the faint light of the nightlight to see by. Your dad was rocking you and whispering sweet things to you. I hope you know how much he loves you.

--You rolled over for the first time ever and I am SO proud of you. We were at the McArthur Design Center going over our choices for the interior of our new house. There was a big square table covered in black felt in the center of the room so that people could lay out their flooring/counter/cabinet choices to see if they went well together. My arms were getting a little tired, so I set you on the table (being very careful to stand right next to you of course). You started wiggling and rolled onto your side. I wasn't too shocked because this is a favorite new trick of yours. But then you got your bum turned all the way upside-down and the only thing standing in your way was that your arm was trapped. I was amazed and your dad and I stood by you cheering you on. You didn't seem like you were going to make it, but you were also pretty content to stay in that position so we went back to looking at our design choices. I glanced down at you just in time to see you miraculously wiggle your arm loose and complete the roll-over onto your tummy! I was so proud. So were you - you were looking up at us with a look that said "Hey mom and dad, look what I did!" All smiles and giggles - that is, until you realized that you were on your tummy and couldn't get back. I picked you up and covered you with kisses. I can't believe how big you are getting my darling girl. First comes rolling, then walking, then running, then moving out of the house to go to college! I'm certainly not ready for that. Please, stay my little girl forever! I love you darling Lydia.