Disaster... and Tender Mercies

Yesterday I got a new school computer - great thing right? Especially because the one that I was using was three years old, super slow, and absolutely can't hold a battery charge. It wasn't the worst thing- but I was excited to get a new computer.

I took my time downloading all of my school assignments and curriculum that was saved to the desktop -making sure to get it all so I wouldn't lose anything. Then I took my old computer down and switched it out with my nice new fancy computer.

Fast forward about one hour when I started organizing all of my materials on my new computer. The folders were all these and pretty much all of the Word files were there but I somehow I had lost about 75% of my Powerpoint presentations and about 30% of my PDF files.

Disaster.

I couldn't figure out where they could have gone. The tech guy was already gone for the night and I was left with only the slightest hope of ever getting my PPT and PDF files back. I had visions of having to redo all of the things that I worked so hard to put together last year. Needless to say I was not a happy camper. I had deleted everything off my old computer as I transferred it to my new computer so I knew that it was a stretch to think that they would be there.

I'm pretty sure that I wrote something in my journal about how trials are even harder to handle when it's your own fault that you are going through them - and that I wasn't super okay with Heavenly Fathers idea of how we are supposed to grow and progress. Why does learning have to be so painful?

I was too overwhelmed and exhausted to even cry last night. But this morning when I showed up at the tech man's office to find that he was out for the day - well... that brought tears to my eyes. Then again, when he showed up in my room with my old computer after receiving my e-mail ... more tears came.

Miracle of all miracles, my files are all still on my old computer. I have spent the past two hours transferring ALL of my files over this time. Part of me feels silly for getting so worked up about it - because "of course" my files would still be on my computer.

But then I stop and think. No. It's not "of course." This is a direct answer to the prayer I have had in my heart for weeks... the one that I'm too afraid to verbalize and ask my Heavenly Father. "Do you know me and my needs? Will you really watch out for me and help me to be successful?" I've been feeling so down lately, and have been filled with doubts about the role that God will choose to play in my life. I'm overwhelmed by his love, and absolutely can not give in to Satan's "it's just a coincidence" way of thinking.

Today, I am grateful for the Tender Mercies that God has shown to me. I hate that I have to be reminded so often of his love, but I am grateful for his never ending patience with me.

"But the Lord knoweth all things from the beginning, wherefore, he prepareth a way to accomplish all his works among the children of men; for behold, he hath all power unto the fulfilling of all his words. And thus it is. Amen." 1 Nephi 9:6