The day I became a Mother...

Here I am, at the very very end of my first Mothers Day. I am holding my darling baby in my arms (or rather... arm) and thinking about how grateful I am to be a mother. Lydia turned one week old today. I can hardly believe it. One week old already! But on the other hand... I can't imagine my life without her here. I can think of no better way for me to celebrate this first Mothers Day than to write about the day that I became a Mother aka "Lydia's Birth Story."

Lydia Elise Peaden made her grand entrance into this world at 8:53 pm, Sunday, May 6, 2012. She weighed 7 lbs 3 oz and was exactly 20 inches long. The moment that I first held her in my arms may have been the happiest moment of my life. She is absolutely beautiful. She is healthy and I couldn't ask for a better baby. She is everything that I prayed for - and I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for protecting her and bringing her to me. She is so little - but she is already the most important thing in my whole world.

Saturday was just a day like any other. I was still feeling great and really didn't expect her to come until the following weekend. But David and I knew that this would probably be the last weekend with just the two of us, so we decided to go out and have one last big date. That morning we went to breakfast at Denny's and ate loads of delicious food. We went to the temple in the afternoon, made a delicious dinner, did some baby shopping, got slurpees, and went to the movies. It was a fabulous day. Our movie started at 9:45 p.m. We got there early and people watched while we munched on our popcorn. When the movie finally started, we had already gone through the entire large bucket of popcorn and we got our free refill on the way into the theater. The movie we watched was "Mirror, Mirror" and it was awesome! I love Julie Robers and the show was just really cute. However, towards the end of the movie I started feeling a little uncomfortable. I was feeling a little crampy. I just attributed it to having eaten so much popcorn, and didn't think much more about it. In the car ride home I mentioned that I wasn't not feeling super great, and by the time we were home, I told David that I was going to get in the bath. It was so unexpected, because I had been feeling so good right up until midnight. The week previous, I was happy, moving around well, and pretty much feeling like I would be pregnant forever because I had no signs that labor was fast approaching.

At Denny's.

David celebrating his victory - he totally rocked me by eating ALL of his food.

You can see me with my four little pieces of pancake left - I just couldn't finish it!

Us at the movies.

We love popcorn!

 All that changed on Saturday night. I steadily grew from uncomfortable to in serious pain. When I realized that I was having contractions, I told David in an incredulous tone, "I think we might be going to the hospital tonight." Neither of us could really believe it, but we got to work finishing packing our bags and around 4 am we left for the hospital. They checked us in and then checked my cervix to see how far it was dilated. I was only at a two. Then then instructed us to twait for an hour to see if I would progress any. I will be honest - that may have been the longest, most painful hour of my entire life. I was crying, shaking, and totally zoned out. David did pretty much all of the talking to the nurses. He was such a support to me. I honestly don't know what I would have done without him there to hold my hand and whisper words of encouragement to me. I was breathing pretty erratically and he was there to help me slow down and breathe deeply. At the end of the hour, they came in to check me again, and... I hadn't progressed. I was devastated and in so much pain. They gave me some shots to help with the pain and to try to knock out the contractions and then just sent us home. I was miserable.

I don't remember the car ride home, but once we arrived we got into bed because we were both so tired. After about a half hour - I knew that there was absolutely no way that I would be able to sleep. I got up and got back into the bathtub. I turned the water on super hot, turned on our jets, and just laid there. I slept a little on and off, always grateful for the hot water when another contraction hit, because they never stopped coming. I had a small water cup with a straw that they had given be at the hospital and I sipped on that continuously, refilling it with cold water from the tub faucet whenever I ran out. I was in the bath from 6 am until 10:30ish when I got out and ate a bowl of cereal. I tried to lay down to rest, tried to walk around, tried pretty much everything - but just ended up getting back into the bath. I wanted to go back to the hospital, but I couldn't stand the thought of being turned away again.

I toughed it out as well as I could, but around 3 - I told David that we really needed to go back to the hospital. He was hesitant, because he knew that I wouldn't be able to handle being turned away. My contractions weren't any closer together and also, I think I was handling the pain better because I was breathing better. But I had reached the point that I knew I couldn't stay at home anymore. I went from still not being sure that I was even in real labor (when they sent us home - they made it sound like the contractions might stop and go away for several days) to knowing that I was going to have this baby soon. However, the fear of not being admitted to the hospital was too much to bear. But because I knew I couldn't stay at home - I had David drive me out to my school. I had accidentally left my cell phone in my classroom on Friday, but didn't worry about it because I was sure that I would be coming back on Monday. So we drove out and picked it up. It was a good diversion, and good to lengthen the time before going to the hospital - but I knew that I couldn't wait any longer. (The tricky thing is that my mind kept playing tricks on me. During the contraction I was convinced that I would die unless we went to the hospital immediately - but during the break time between I would start to second guess myself because I wasn't feeling so terrible.)

We arrived about 4 pm and I was absolutely dreading what they would say. They checked my cervix and said "Well... we won't be sending you home this time!" Utter relief filled my whole body and I could have cried! (In fact, I think that I did start crying.) Turns out... I was dilated to a six. They pretty much immediately moved us to a Labor and Delivery room. They hooked me up to a bunch of IVs and monitors and called the Anesthesiologist. Now, I have always heard such terrible things about getting an epidural and the epidural needle - but I will be honest, at this point my contractions were so painful that I couldn't even feel the needle. I think it helped because he had me sit on the edge of the bed, then they raised the bed really high so my feet were in Davids lab. (My sweet, darling David. What would I have done without him there?) At this point I had been in labor for 16+ hours. I was exhausted. The Anesthesiologist said that he was going to cheat a little bit and he gave me a huge dose of painkiller right up front. Within ten minutes, I was completely numb from the belly button down. Completely numb. It was amazing! I know that sound silly- but I was so tired and in so much pain that the relief the numbness brought was heaven sent. The Anesthesiologist was so good. He didn't make any jokes until after he had finished. But after I wasn't in pain anymore, he was very funny and had me smiling and laughing.

This all took place around 5 pm. The next three hours are kind of a blur. The doctor came in and broke my water to help things keep progressing and I spent the next three hours basically trying to rest. (Did I mention that I was exhausted?) The nurses were in and out, but I was able to sleep a little.  Then around 8 - my nurse came in and checked my cervix. She told me that it was time to start pushing! At this point my epidural had worn off enough that I could feel my contractions and I could move my legs. The next hour was exhausting and amazing. It was just one nurse and my David in the room with me. Each time a contraction came they helped me give three good pushes. I wasn't feeling pain -although I could feel the pressure. Mostly, I was just so incredibly tired. As tired as I was, it was amazing to be able to see her head start to crown. I could hardly believe it. I only went through about ten contractions/rounds of pushing. The last few my nurse was telling me "just little pushes!", because the doctor wasn't there yet. But as soon as he got there, I pushed and pushed and felt her start to come. (As this point, my doctor game me an episiotomy to her her come through. I was a little worried about that, but he gave me some local anesthetic and it turned out just fine.)  David was right by my side the whole time, holding my hand and cheering me on. I was pretty out of it focused so I don't remember a whole lot- but I do remember him being there, holding my hand, giving me water to sip between contractions and just totally and completely loving and supporting me. As soon as her head came through - the doctor told me to stop pushing because the umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck. I started to worry, but it was fine. Doctor Jones simply unwrapped it, told me to push, and delivered my baby girl.

It was amazing. All of the sudden, there she was! They clamped the cord and let David use the scissors to cut it. Then they immediately put her up on my chest. She had been crying a little bit - but as soon as they laid her on my chest, she stopped crying. All I could say was "My baby girl - my beautiful baby girl." She lifted her tiny little head to look at me and I knew that my life was changed forever. I loved her from the moment that I held her in my arms. I mean - I loved her even before that - but when she was there, tucked into my gown and laying on my chest.. it was all so real, so perfect! She then proceeded to stick her thumb in her mouth and start sicking away. It was so precious! THey let me hold her for a while, and then quickly took her to finish weighing and measuring her. There were so many nurses hustling and bustling around and then... they handed Lydia back to me, finished cleaning up, and disappeared. Once again it was just my nurse, my David, and my baby. It was incredible. After a while of just David and I, he went out to get our families. Both his parents and my parents were there, as well as my siblings Melissa and Jacob. It was so wonderful to have them there. They each got to hold her and we all chatted for a minute - but David and I were going on over 36 hours of practically no sleep and we were tired to say the least.

After they left, David went with Lydia and the nurses to finish cleaning her up and do her testing. My nurse helped me walk to the bathroom, clean up, and then pushed me in a wheelchair down to our room on the second floor.

I forgot to mention that earlier, before our families came to meet Lydia, I was able to breastfeed her. She took it like a champ! She was awesome. However, once we got down to our room I tried to feed her again but she wouldn't have it! She would latch, but she wouldn't suck. She would just look around with her big eyes. It would have been really cute if we weren't so tired. I got her to eat a little before the nurses came to run more checks at 3am. I was exhausted - but the joy of having Lydia there -and healthy- was unmatched. I couldn't ask for a better experience. Even with 16+ hours of labor, pre-epidural, the actual birth was so perfect and uncomplicated. I am so grateful! Lydia brings so much joy to my life. I love to hold her and look into her sweet, innocent face. I love to feed her and feel her so close to me.

We spent the next two days relaxing and recovering in our room at the hospital. My insurance covered 48 hours after deliver, and we took advantage of it! The first day I didn't move a whole lot, but by the second day I was out of bed and moving around. My recovery has gone really well. I feel very blessed because although i'm a little tender - for the most part I feel really great.

David was able to take off work for the whole week, and so we enjoyed our time (and the room service) at the hospital. We came home on Tuesday evening, and although we are are little tired, we could not be any happier. Lydia has added so much to our little family. We love her so much. This Mothers Day has been amazing - because all day I have been able to sit and hold my sweet baby girl.

And so, dear Lydia, thank you for making me a mother. Thank you for your sweet spirit that already fills our home with so much happiness. Your dad and I love you. We love you so much. I am already looking forward to LOTS and LOTS of Mothers Days with you by my side.