Dear Austin,
I had a Primary Presidency meeting tonight at 8:00 downstairs in our living room. I got you in bed by seven and came in and checked on you several times before my meeting. Finally, as my meeting got closer, I told you that I really needed you to go to sleep and that wouldn't be able to come up to check on you until after my meeting. I didn't hear another peep from you, but when I was finished with my meeting and headed back upstairs to check on you I found you fast asleep at the top of the stairs - just waiting for me.
My sweet boy. I can just imagine you not being able to fall asleep and coming out of your room and stopping by the gate because you knew that you weren't supposed to come downstairs during my meeting. I imagine you laying down and listening to the sound of my voice, thinking that you'd just wait there until I came back upstairs.
My heart simultaneously burst with love for you and also broke because of how much I wish I could give you as your mother and how often I fail at that. I make mistakes all the time. You mean so much to me and you are far more important than any meeting. Although, I am grateful that you did stay upstairs because I did have a meeting- and serving in my calling is important to me, too. It's such a hard balance.
I scooped you up and carried you back to your bed, kissing your forehead, whispering how much I love you, and tucking you in before I left. I hope that you remember the love, the book reading in bed, the kisses, and the attention focused just on you. I hope you know that I'm doing my best. You are special to me. You have a tender heart and I am so lucky to be your mom.
Love, Mama.
My heart simultaneously burst with love for you and also broke because of how much I wish I could give you as your mother and how often I fail at that. I make mistakes all the time. You mean so much to me and you are far more important than any meeting. Although, I am grateful that you did stay upstairs because I did have a meeting- and serving in my calling is important to me, too. It's such a hard balance.
I scooped you up and carried you back to your bed, kissing your forehead, whispering how much I love you, and tucking you in before I left. I hope that you remember the love, the book reading in bed, the kisses, and the attention focused just on you. I hope you know that I'm doing my best. You are special to me. You have a tender heart and I am so lucky to be your mom.
Love, Mama.
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