{Stories from the Ranch}
For my Grandpa's birthday this year, Jenna and I had the idea to put together a short book, a children's book more than anything, of short stories and interesting tales that my Grandpa has shared with us over the years. We had it printed and my dad gave it to him on his birthday while we facetimed them. It was worth the effort and I'm grateful that it made my grandfather happy, and also happy that I have all of these stories in one place. The idea is that we will be able to add to it as we gather more stories. (We had the kids illustrate the stories and I think they turned out so well!)
Happy Birthday (December 23) Grandpa!
The Boy, The Tree, and other Stories
Written for Grandpa-Great, Ellis Ramon Walker
Compiled by his loving grandchildren
Artwork by his adoring great-grandchildren
Prologuge
There once was a little boy who lived in rural Wyoming. The skies were blue, the wind was strong, and he had room to grow and play and learn. He wanted more than anything else to grow up and run a ranch of his own. These are some stories of that little boy and his wish come true.
The Tree
There was a young tree that the little boy used to play around when he came to visit his friend, Pete’s, house. It was right in the heart of the land surrounding the Twitchell’s house and they used to run around it while playing outside.
They loved that tree.
When that little boy grew up he bought the house and property from Pete’s dad, Frank. As his family grew, first with a wife the following year and then the four rambunctious children that followed, that tree grew right alongside them. They climbed the tree often and even built a little treehouse in it’s branches. They spent many summer nights playing kick the can around it’s base with their cousins and friends. It’s branches transformed with the imagination of each child.
And that tree was loved.
The tree continued to grow - it’s trunk broadened until each of it’s many branches made for it’s own separate climbing spot. When the man’s grandchildren came along his son helped him tie the very first tire swing into the tree, hanging below it’s leafy branches. The grandchildren used it as a pirate ship, as a jungle gym, as a castle. They played tag within it’s canopy. Their childhoods were full of adventures in that tree.
And they loved that tree.
As the tree continued to grow it’s branches grew heavy. It had to be trimmed and cut back but even so, the magic of the tree was strong. When the great-grandchildren came, they spent countless hours swinging on the tire swing playing “ping pong kids” and adventuring in the dried out creek below it’s remaining branches. The tree watched as the man pushed them in the tire swing and it remembered the many many children who had played there.
And it knew that it was loved.
“Here Open This”
The boy who was now a young man had recently returned from serving in the army and was working at Little America as a car mechanic.
A lovely young woman, Verla, was also working at the Little America as a waitress in the restaurant. She had come to live with her sister in the little town while she was on break from BYU. They met when he came into the restaurant to eat and started a conversation. They kept talking on and off whenever he would come in to get something to eat. She was delighted when he asked her to attend the Thanksgiving Dance with him. They had a great time at that dance and they started spending even more time together.
One morning, the young man asked her if she wanted to go "to town", (meaning driving the 2.5 hours to Ogden), with him because he had some things he needed to pick up. They had both just gotten off a graveyard shift, but of course she said yes. He dropped her off at some stores in Odgen and she had a nice time walking around and doing a little shopping of her own. He picked her up, and they spent some time together before heading back home. As they were coming out of the mouth of Weber Canyon, the young man leaned over, opened the jockey box, and said "Here, open this." Inside was a ring box! Immediately the young women started shouting with joy! She grabbed the box, looked at the ring, and started hugging and kissing him as they drove down the road.
The Pea-Plant Escapade
The man and woman lived in a little white house on the property that was purchased from Frank Twitchell in '56. They planted many different crops in the acres next to their house. One year they planted several acres of peas down below the barn but they started having trouble with local kids (including the young man’s younger brother by seven years, Stan) who kept getting in the pea patch and stomping them down.
He clearly told them if they wanted to have a party they could come down and have a party during the day. They could have as many peas as they wanted! But he asked them not to come at night. When it was night time they tromped all the peas down. One time the man and woman had the police come with their spotlights but the scallywags were laying down in the rows so they couldn't see them. The man thought that the police had chased them away, but a couple of hours later he heard a car pull up.
Out by the pig-pen there was a big billboard. It's not there anymore, but a car pulled up behind that billboard and the man couldn't see it very well. When the car lights went out, he thought the little buggers were in the pea patch again!
He grabbed his shotgun, went out, and shot around in the air yelling
'Get out of there!'
All the sudden he heard a thunk-thunk-thunk and realized that it was NOT young hooligans sneaking into his pea patch, but instead was a person who had pulled off to the side of the road to change their flat tire. Fast as anything the stranger pulled his jack down, threw it into the trunk, and took off down the road, with his flat tire going ker-thunk, ker-thunk, ker-thunk all the way.
As he walked back into his house the man felt sorry. The stranger must have ruined that tire because he surely didn't stop till he got to town.
Poor guy, traveling in the dark and then getting scared out of his wits by an ornery old rancher with a gun in the middle of the night.
“Grandpa-isms”
Wish you were here.
Is that “ear”-ittating?
I got me a “celery phone”
Whose kid are you?
I have asthma….. “as ma head goes down ma butt goes up.”
Responses to “How are you doing?” include:
“Oh, I’m having one of those backwards days my nose runs and my feet smell.”
“Uncommonly Good”
“Pretty good for a grumpy old man”
“Better than I deserve to be”
“If I was any better I couldn’t stand myself”
A New House
As the young man’s family grew, he wanted to build a new house for them. They had the perfect piece of land, right next to their old house and in front of the beloved tree. They built the house, but now they had running water and so they needed to place piping from the spring across the road to the house.
The man talked to the highway department to as if they would allow him to dig up the highway, but they said that if he wanted his pipes to connect he would have to drill under the highway. He hired Tuffy Dunker to dig the trench and he started trying to drill and remove dirt from under the road. He did everything in his power to drill under the road, but he ran into something hard. No matter what he did, he couldn’t get through it. So he called one more time to see if he could get help from the road workers. They finally said they would come and close half the road so they could just dig up the road to get the pipe through.
The man and the young woman got ready. The day came and the man helped the workers dig the road out, and the woman helped by holding the stop/slow sign since they had now turned it to a one way road. Well, a fancy-to-do car started rolling through and they were not going to listen to the woman holding the sign. But she had a little fire inside of her and she wasn’t going to let them through. She took her stop sign and swatted that car to make them stop.
Eventually the car got through, the pipe was laid, the road got fixed, and the spring water got hooked up to the man’s new house. But in that time he and the woman grew closer and loved each other more.
The Skunk and the Motorcycle
One night the man was out irrigating with a little motorcycle because the small tires only leaves a track 3-4 inches wide. He was banging up through the tall grass when all the sudden a skunk appeared in his path. As it came out, he hit it with the wheel of the motorcycle.
The skunk went flying and started spraying everywhere. The spray went all over - in his mouth, in his eyes, all over his clothes. The man near drowned in a ditch trying to wash it off of his face and out of his mouth. He discovered, quite to his horror that that stuff doesn't taste real good.
The man diligently continued his task for the evening, but when he was done irrigating, he made his way home. Upon arriving back at his house, his weet but stubborn wife wouldn't let him in the house until he took off all his clothes because he smelled so bad.
But they got through it.
Tall Tales that have been Told
The man’s father in law, George Francis Tingey loved to tease and tell stories. One of his favorites was of “The Giant Mosquitos”. The story goes like this:
When he was a young child the mosquitos around his home were known for being very, very large. (This was back before people sprayed for mosquitos). One time little Francis was out playing with his friend and the mosquitos were so terrible that in order to escape them the two friends tipped over an empty 50 gallon metal drum, and climbed underneath to hide. They could hear the mosquitos buzzing all around and they were so loud that it would echo through the metal drum. All the sudden, the boys heard an even louder noise right above their heads. The stingers on the mosquitos were so big that they actually started drilling through the top of the steel drum. Well, the boys each grabbed a rock from beneath their feet and started bending over the ends of the noses poking through like you might bend over a protruding nail. The mosquitos kept coming through and the boys managed to keep up with them, bending over each dangerous stinger one after the other. After a little while there were so many mosquitos that the force of their wings actually lifted the barrel off of the boys and they flew away with it!
Tall Tales that have been Told, cont.
“The Tale of Rindercella”
Once apon a time, there lived a very geautiful birl; her name was Rindercella. Now, Rindercella lived with her mugly other and her two sad blisters.
In this same coreign fountry, there was a very prandsom hince who was
going to have a bancy fall. Rindercella's mugly other and her two sad blisters went out to buy some drancy fesses to wear to this bancy fall, but Rindercella could not go because all she had to wear were some old rirty dags. She cat down and scried, but all at once her gairy fodmother appeared. She waved her wagic mand ... and there appeared before her, a cig boach and hix white sorces to take her to the bancy fall. But now she said to Rindercella, "Rindercella, you must be home before nidmight, or I'll purn you into a tumpkin!"
When Rindercella arrived at the bancy fall, the prandsom hince met her at the door. And Rindercella and the prandsom hince nanced all dight until nidmight...and they lell in fove. And finally, the mid clock strucknight. And Rindercella staced down the rairs, and just as she beached the rottom, she slopped her dripper!
The next day, the prandsom hince went all over the coreign fountry looking for the geautiful birl who had slopped her dripper. Finally he came to Rindercella's house. He tried it on Rendercella's mugly other ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on her two sigly usters ... and it fidn't dit. Then he tried it on Rindercella ... and it fid dit. It was exactly the sight rize!
So they were married and lived heverly ever hapwards. Now, the storal of the mory is this: If you ever go to a bancy fall and want to have a pransom hince loll in fove with you, don't forget to slop your dripper!
The Mountain Man
Now as you might be able to tell from some of these past stories, this man and woman were incredibly kind and they met friends everywhere they went. One time they met a real live Mountain Man.
The man and his son were on a summer fishing ‘pack trip’ with their horses in the wilderness of the Unitah Mountains. They loved packing up their horses and going into the mountains for a week traveling around from lake to lake. They slept under a tarp hung on a lariat strung between two trees, with a saddlepad to sleep on and a saddle as their pillow.
The man and his son had just finished their time at Island Lake and were riding their horses up to the summit of the mountain to cross to the other side heading to Fox and Crescent Lakes when they heard another set of horses winding down through the trees. As they came into view they saw two horses and a man dressed in full buckskin clothing with a rifle sitting in his lap.
As they approached each other, the man called out “Howdy Pilgrim, where are you headed?” The other man’s name was Jim and he laughed at being called a pilgrim when he was absolutely a mountain man. Their conversation led them to talk about the Mountain Man Rendevous held in Fort Bridger every year. Jim was riding from Kansas with his horses and was heading to Jackson Hole, but was hoping to make it to the Fort Bridger Rendevous on his way. The man and his son knew that it wouldn’t have been possible for him to make it in time so they arranged to meet at their truck and horse trailer in a couple of days and haul him all the way into Fort Bridger. The man and his son weren’t sure if he would actually show up, but they went on their way to finish their trip. The had the greatest time with the best fishing and when they arrived back at their truck and trailer, Jim the mountain man was camped out at the trailer rested and ready to go! The ride back to town was full of good conversation and connection. The man and his new friend Jim really hit it off.
That chance meeting developed into a true friendship and they connected many times over the years, which brought a great joy to each of them.
Jack and Jim vs the Sagebrush
The man had several teams of work horses. Chub was a big roan and Bess was big black mare. They were a hard working team.
Jack and Jim were a really well matched team. Not as big as Chub and Bess, but they were a really good mowing team. The mower that the man used had a tongue that the horses were hooked to and had a seat for the man in the back behind the mower. A cutter bar that extended to the side about 5-6 feet.
One day the man was mowing with Jack and Jim as he often did. He was East of Norma’s correls when he came upon some sagebrush. Jack and Jim were such a good mowing team that they could often come to the end of the row and they would make the turn all by themselves, but this day as they were making a turn they hit some trouble. They had just started back along the row when the tip of the cutter bar hooked a sagebrush. The horses beared down and were pushing hard trying to get through the patch. The man glanced back and saw the cutter bar bending back with the tension between the sagebrush and the horses. He realized the trouble but before he even had the chance to stop the horses, the sagebrush ripped out of the ground. Just like a spring that had been stretched and released it snapped back with such force that the entire mower jumped out from underneath of him and sent him falling to the ground. He held on for all he was worth as the horse team spooked and took off. He finally got them to stop and calm and he congratulated them on their victory over the sagebrush.
The Price is Right
Something about the woman that lived on the Ranch was that she loved to watch the show “The Price is Right”. She would ensure that her chores were scheduled around the broadcast time so she could catch each episode. She was a multi-generational Price is Right watcher and it delighted her to see each contestant and guess along side them to find the right answers. For a special birthday one year, her family went on a trip to California and got to watch a live taping of the show - each one of them made a case for why she should be picked as one of the contestants - and she was! Her excitement was unparalleled when she heard her name called to “Come on down!”
She not only made it onto the show - she won the Showcase Showdown! Among many of the things that she won were: A personal trampoline, a pool table, and two rocking chairs. One of the most notable things that she won was a hovercraft. A big boat/car that floats over land or water with the aid of a giant fan. She was so happy to have this dream fulfilled and her posterity have thoroughly enjoyed playing pool, jumping on that trampoline, rocking in those chairs and riding the hovercraft over miles of land and water.
Christmas on the Ranch
Each Christmas the little house hosted a Christmas Party with all the Grandparents: both Walker and Rollins. The family would always go up and cut a fresh Christmas tree, letting the kids tromp around all over the place. They would go through the 100 million trees, and each person would pick the tree they wanted, then together they would finally decide on the very best one in the whole forest. They would cut it, bring it home, and decorate it with decorations that had been carefully kept by the woman, Some she had made and some that had been given to them. They would put them all of the tree then sit around telling Christmas stories.
One Christmas when the kids were very young, the man and woman sent away and got a kitchen set for the girls. It was a darling set, with a stove and a counter; all of it. That Christmas Eve the man was up all night putting the whole silly thing together. But he was determined to finish so that the girls would have Christmas in the morning.
When the boys were 5-6 and the family still lived in the Old House, one of ‘em got a little cannon for Christmas. You’d put in a little bit of gas plus a pellet an’ pull the trigger. It would spark and shoot a ball. That Christmas the boys shot one of the glass balls right off the Christmas tree!
Many years the man and his father would hook up the horse team to a wagon and take all the kids for a ride out in the meadows on Christmas day.
Among all the other merriment and joy of Christmas they always made sure they kept Christ in Christmas. They would gather around and read the Christmas Story and were always talking about the Savior on that first Christmas Morning.
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